big female giant goes to japan

bfg on why my iPad is amazing

2012-02-19T09:10:00.001-08:00

...because I can blog from bed which is awesome.

bfg goes to bed

bfg on crumbs

2012-02-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

Why HELLO there Blog. How are thee? Happy in your Internet universe of whatevers and whatnots? Me, you ask? What of meeeeeee?

Well, today as I was grading my third year students' final exams armed with a whip-free Starbucks mocha a lady sat next to me. Why an interest in a lady sitting next to me? My dear friend, in Japan people with eyelids usually have a one seat radius of open seats. My favourite of course is the bus ride where I sit with so much room all around me as people stand far, far away. Even better is when I sit next to someone, my Italian hips demanding 60% of seat space. No "wa" there.

Naturally, I devoted an entire corner of my eye to her activities and it proved torturous for it took her exactly 71 minutes to eat her teeny-weeny Japanese sized chocolate brownie.

Crumb by fucking crumb, her fork picked away slowly bringing the little bit to her mouth. Chew. Chew Somemore. Swallow.

Before long, I was fantasizing of teaching her how to BITE her food. Sink teeth in. Roll eyes and enjoy this oh-so Herbal Essence experience. Chew slowly. Making noise is okay. While swallowing raise brownie to mouth so as to not be without it for long. By the end, I almost took it away from her. No brownie should be eaten that way.

Those flashing moments, where my mocha is swallowed in 4 gulps while my peers are still playing with the sleeve of their drink is when I realize I am gaigin. It doesn't bother me... but there are moments where I just come home and pretend I am nowhere. Just today while shopping at the GAP, I tried on a pair of pants that fit save for the fact that they only covered half my asscrack. Not a fashion statement I want to be making at this time in my life. Constantly, they tell me, "In Japan, we don't have such sizes" and I feel life I am a VBFG: VERY Big Female Giant.

February has proven to be overwhelming. Not only is it end of semester for me but lots of shit hit the fan: issues with my 2009 and 2010 taxes in Canada and Quebec (Vivre Le Quebec Libre!), huge volunteer project that took up way too much time, 3 birthdays, exams, creative writing projects due, so many detentions I had to "reschedule" some, my daily twenty minutes of Jillian Michaels and my neighbours hearing me scream "Cunt Bitch Ass Whore" after work every day, and mail. So much mail these days with "pay me!" and "you forgot"...

But really the main thing is I have come to the decision that I am going to take a serious step towards staying in Japan permanently. So... I am applying for a second Master's degree- something that can get me a uni position here (or anywhere in Asia - Singapore and Korea are interesting alternatives). So a big part of this month is getting my application done with everything else. It seems crazy but life here is good. But you know that don't you? Life would have to be good if what I am complaining about is crumbs.

That said, I came home and ate a hefty amount of Pringles in Crumb Ladies honour. I showed her how its done. "Yes! Yes! YES!"

bfg leaves for midnight snack of nutella and peanut butter sandwich.

bfg on "To Blendy, with Love.

2011-08-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

Dearest Blendy,

When I found you my world changed - not just for the better... I became a different person, a better person.

Even though we met yesterday, I had to stop myself from tearing off your cap and devouring you. But I had to think of work the next day and a lady needs her sleep! But this morning ... ahhh so worth the wait. As I threw out the old Liquid Coffee and poured you into my cup, mixed in a little milk... I was knocking on heaven's door.

Blendy Espresso Liquid Coffee, why do you hid yourself on the shelves of Max Value when you should be in the fridge with the other, granted inferior, cold coffees... We went too long apart.

How have I changed? Besides the fact that there was a skip in my step and song in my voice, you mean? Well, even after five cups this morning I had a sixth right before heading out to Curves, my gym. Didn't tell you about it? Oh, I am super famous there. As the only Gaijin not only is my "Curves Message" at the top of the pyramid, but everyone is aware of both my measurements, my attendance - hell, they even tell me about my own life.

"Vanessa-sensei~! School starts on Thursday~"

"It does? I am not so sure... I should check."

Giggles and sugoi!'s everywhere. "Thursday!! Yes yes."
Well, Hot-Diggitydog! They were right...

When I missed a week for Hiroshima/Kobe vacation, not only was I required to give a full report as to why but I was warned that I really could not afford to eat so much omiyage. "Really? 13 omiyage?"

"But I had to try every flavour~! How many times will I be in Miyajima?"

Of course, I do this while working out so I am saved by the woman's voice saying "Change Station Now" and all the women chanting together "Chan-gi!"

I have friends there Blendy, though none as precious as yourself. My favourite is Glasses Lady. She works out in pink sunglasses. I think I may be in love with her even though she points at me saying "AKAI! AKAI!" (red! red!) to whoever is working out beside her. I forget I am working out trying to figure out what she's thinking.

My Brain: "Oooo pursed lips. Do you think things are getting hard?"

Other part of My Brain that has the voice of my cousin Amanda: "Maaaaa, what are you SAYING!?"

My Brain: "Maybe she is thinking about her doggie. A woman with pink tinted glasses has to have a doggie."

Other Part now switching to Bad Sean Connery: "Peacock."

My Brain: Nods "goooooood one."

After Curves, I treated myself to one more before heading to a coffee shop where I had lemonade. The serving woman almost fainted.

"I-su-du Ca-fe Ra-te?"

"I-su-du Re-mon onegaishimasu!"

"CA - FE Ra- TE" It was like talking to a two year old. Or one of my students.

"ReMON. L size."

Repeat 5 times.

Chatted away with Ashley and got some studying in - no yawning or eye rubbing at all!! Power-biked home in under 15 minutes listening to George Michael, planning a Gay Pride lesson and dreaming of just ONE more cup before bed. I was distracted from my surroundings with the exception of the 70 year old woman (who looked 50) on her mini-bike, MC Hammer pants and florescent Brazilian t-shirt montage-of-athing. She puts Pink Glasses to SHAME. I want her autograph!

Blendy, you made a good life great. Because now I know that with every quirky Ja-of-pan moment I go through I can accent it with a cup of you. Let's party.

bfg goes to watch The Good Wife. Bad title, good show.

bfg on having the best cup of coffee in the world. And I don't mean maybe.

2011-07-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

If I never hear the word "Maybe" for the rest of my life it will be too soon.

Usually moments that are lost in translation are cute. When my student tells me, "I'm hot!" and I explain that can mean sexy we giggle. If a teacher tells me how "terrible and excited" they felt about a movie, I explain that terrible really has no positive meaning. And I just love explaining to the students that "shat" really does not mean "shirt". But "maybe" is so misused, so misunderstood and so frequently that I may become violent.

For example,

"Are you hungry?"

"Maybe"

Honestly?

"Did you go to the party last week?"

"I think so."

Oh, really?

The one I hate the most is when I ask for directions.

"How do I get to the movie theatre?"

"Maybe you turn left from Gofukucho at the Seiten."

"Maybe? You don't know?"

"Yes."

"What? Okay, lets look at a map."

"Oh, but we don't need to."

"But you said you don't know where it is exactly..."

"Yes."

"So we should check the map..."

"Maybe"

Kill me now Sweet Jesus!!!

Last Sunday after a long series of unfortunate events where the gods reminded me why I must stay indoors with a Japanese Boy-Toy doing my dishes and other domestic duties for handicapped individuals such as myself, I was comin' down the mountain with friends after camping and there before me was this lovely little cabin that said the most beautiful thing I ever read: "Coffee".

Not even waiting for it to stop, I was out of the car running in. It had been more than 24 hours!! How can a human survive? Who would want to ?

"No! Please take off your shoes."

I don't bat an eye. Direct directions is all a white woman on a coffee mission needs.

I never thought caffeine paradise could be on a mountain with bears and wild pigs. I associate such things with going to school not heaven.

But just look at how they made my coffee. It was like a dance! A song! A ceremony! I was so happy I ordered two.

Good enough to go back for thirds? Maybe...

bfg on when the extraordinary is ordinary

2011-07-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

The other day it hit me.

Old man slows down, rolling down the car window to see if I really am what I am. I bow and continue on my merry way.

Clerk overcharges me 10 YEN. Manager has a hernia. I smile and say, "だいじょぶ！”　

Couple stop crossing the street to look at my tattoos. They backtrack, pointing very obviously. I smile and bow my head. Yup, I got tattoos on my chest! Want a closer look? Promise I cover them in an onsen. Cross my heart.

I forgot my 100 YEN pen in the shopping basket on the 6th floor of one of the most crowded malls in Shizuoka. Walking out of the elevator, a clerk meets me at the bottom of the STAIRS out of breath. "GOMEN!!! You forgot this." I take this in stride. She had to take the stairs so she could catch me at the elevator doors, you see.

Fact is, all these little instances that made living in Japan so manga-wide-eyed have become normal. In many ways, I am EXPECTING such behaviour. Does this mean I will wear nylons at work in humidity of 1 gazillion? I am not psycho. But seeing other female teachers with nylons, woollen socks and sandals - all part of my morning coffee experience.

And there are other "settling in"moments - my students have been friendlier to me. They yell "Hello Banessa!" from across the football field, sneak a wave if I walk by the class and some actually smile. One of my shiest students came up to me yesterday to say he was happy "I can speak to Banessa sensei". I was not supposed to teach 2nd year students but this year I was asked to...

Even disciplining is better. They know what I will do. So I give the look and they smile and I say, "Goto!!" and he actually does it. How the hell did that happen!?

And as the realizations hit - that a year has actually past, that many of the people I have relationships are leaving - I think about what will I do this time next year... Right now, with Megane Boy writing me an email about birthday presents, Yuka making me an ink drawing of Taylor Swift and bike tiers screeching in the city streets with the basketball team chasing me for a "Hello" and weekend sighting I can't fathom it.

Summer is here and I need to take a step back at being "Banessa Sensei" and get back into reading, working out - yes, I actually wrote the words without Mother Earth swallowing me whole - and enjoying Japan. Because with this year having gone by so fast, the other one is just around the corner. I have some catching up to do.

Hiroshima! Kobe! Osaka (again)! Here I come!!!

bfg on the bold and the bloodless

2011-06-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am having a girls night ala Edward/Bill/Eric.

That is correct folks - us gals are painting our faces, dressing up to the nines, putting on some Twilighty movies and hitting my kitchen dance floor.

This is my life. Welcome.

I should say this is my life post-thesis; a series of how well I can entertain myself now that I have so much time. The funny thing is now that I and Time are reunited my most productive endeavour is probably getting over the hangover before I drive to work in the morning.

Oh, my walls are littered with to-do lists. Alphabetized. Colour-coordinated. Even stickered and hankoed up. But there is always the day after tomorrow or "not when it's raining" or "after the nap I need since I only slept 7 hours"... etc.

Work is busy enough but while my nights are spent worshiping bloodsuckers my students are energy suckers. My third year students are wild and I find that either I have to just sit back and ride the wave waiting it out or I need to be a marshal. Both are so unappealing and for the first time since I have been here I refused to teach an entire lesson, forcing my JTE's to take care of the first half.

Coming back after two weeks from home, I was itching to get back to work excited to see my students. I guess this is the bad end of the "anticipation" side of things... Who was it that said never make plans or have expectations for anything more than two days in advance? Words of wisdom my friends.

This past month has been a scramble of enjoying freedom, adapting to my work schedule that has doubled and just settling in for another year of Japan. I have posts I need to do on Nagoya, Osaka and even Vietnam. But its been a while and I thought a little note that marks a year from when I opened my placement and read the words "Shizuoka" was called for. Reading all the newbies being so excited of what is to come, I remember how far and yet how behind I am after having spent almost a full year here.

I better start checking things off the list.

bfg gets off her Italian-ass.

bfg on ...

2011-03-12T01:15:00.000-08:00

What title would be appropriate for this? bfg on the tsunami? Please, that is so...

Uh this whole thing is a mess. I am in Japan. I felt the Earthquake but in all honestly it was exciting and wondrous. I thought I was dying because someone poisoned me then I thought I fell asleep and was dreaming about Inception then someone yelled "EARTHQUAKE" and I realized I needed to get out of my bubble and start living reality. It lasted a long moment. It felt like an hour and a few seconds at the same time. It also felt like my stomach went up my esophagus and into my brain.

There were many warnings and it was scary to see your city highlighted in red on the Japanese Meteorological site but the truth is I feel like I am in another Japan. One that had a little shake and a little scare. This is not the Japan where 1000 people died, houses were swept up, people, cars, planes... THAT Japan is on TV and facebook statuses. It is part of the Lady Gaga bracelets on sale for the relief fund.

I hate this because once Hollywood gets involved suddenly it feels like this is a work of bad fiction. Instead of being engrossed I am removed. Pretty soon Michael Jackson will come back from the dead and sing a song about it - all proceeds going to the relief no doubt. In three years a movie about a dog will come out where he singlehandedly rescued an orphanage of children stuck on a roof by swimming them across to a more stable rooftop and the Government of Japan will make a peace centre for it.

It just doesn't feel real anymore. Instead it is so removed and distant... like a movie. I drove to the shoreline because I had to see it for myself. I was expecting some coastguards or something... but instead there was silent beauty.

So, please stop thinking of me family and friends. Think about Sendai, help them too before Hollywood sucks the humanity out of it. I am off to study at a resto so I don't consume energy (which Shizuoka is providing to Tokyo) and maybe get some homework done.

bfg on yish!

2011-03-09T00:31:00.000-08:00

My intention was that my next post would be large banners that read "FINISHED", "DONE!" and "I AM SO ELATED I AM RUNNING NAKED IN THE STREET!". Oh, the Thesis is coming along and in a week should be completed thank the gods but no it is not done. However today's events... yish. I need to let this out.

I told you about Goto, right? He is, with the exception of Megane Boy, my favourite student. Unlike shy Megane Boy, Goto loves attention. He would make a great actor. To me he does not look Japanese... he has a round face with a strong jaw, dimples, short, fit boy since he is on the running team and a smile that can charm anyone - even a giant foreign English teacher like me.

And that kid knows it. Every time I look Goto's way, even when he is doing something other than what he is supposed to, he flashes me a willing smile. Sometimes I smile back, sometimes I say "Just because your smiling does not mean you can get away with that Goto! Stop!" but it does not have the same bite that I usually put into my Sergeant General statements in class. He listens though. To me at least he listens.

To top it all off he wears glasses. He is not a very good students but in class Goto raises his hand and seems to do well. His speaking ability I think is much more advanced than his writing, not that that is particularly important but so it goes.

I love teaching him and his entire homeroom. They are my favourites and they know it! So today when the Homeroom Hanko Prize was announced none of us were surprised when Homeroom 14 won. However, I was surprised that Goto was not there for he never misses a class. But I set his test and prize aside and did my shpeel.

After was when the bomb dropped, "Sensei! I am holding on to Goto's test and prize so let him know when he comes to school to come see me please."

She seemed uncomfortable. "I do not think you can see him. No one is really allowed to."

"Allowed to see him? You mean he is in school?" Oh God, was he sick?

"Yes... he was caught doing something bad..."

"What?" I know she hated being put on the spot. See if I care.

"He was caught at a store..." she gave me a look saying 'Please don't make me tell you' which didn't work and so finally, "He pick-pocketed."

Now in Japan, this is a mega big deal. I almost made a joke about how I used to steal gum from the local store but I wonder if that would get me fired here. But poor Goto... none of the teachers really like him. He just sleeps in class or disturbs. But this kid is active. He has no outlet for his creativity and humour. He can be great really he can but there are few opportunities to express himself and if there is one kid on this planet that needs to do that its Goto. I know - I was exactly the same! Urg!

"Can I see him?"

Well, I pushed the buttons and it did not take much for them to consent to let me see him. Goto was still wearing his glasses but now his eyes were tiny from having cried so much and his face super round from puffiness. I gave Goto his homeroom prize and then his Student Prize for having "improved" throughout the year.

"Goto... I am sorry this happened."

He said thank you.

"Goto... you are a smart boy. atamaga iidesu" I wanted to say more. That I thought he had so much potential but he has to learn discipline. That tomorrow is a new day and he can start over; just let this go and start anew. But he could not face me. He kept shacking his head with such loathing and self-hatred I just wanted to hug him and let him cry.

But this is high school and I am not his mother. "You are a smart boy who made a stupid mistake." He shook his head. He whispered in a tiny voice. "baka desu." I am stupid.

I gave Goto his papers and went around the table in the tiny room he has to spend the next few days in writing letters of apology to the community, the person he pick-pocketed, his teachers, basically everyone in a 10 mile radius, and tapped his shoulder - a huge thing here as physical contact is not the norm. But man that face, of such guilt... what could I have done? I feel like it was not enough and yet to have done more would have meant overstepping a boundary that I wonder if a teacher should ever cross.

I wish I had him as a student next year. I WANT him and 14 homeroom and so many others. And so I am going to fight this... I am going to fight to teach 2nd year students.

On Goto's survey he wrote how my class was his favourite class. "I am free." I would rather teach Zombie Girl and Giggle Bitch for a whole year if it means sticking with some of these precious gems. See the thing is he is smart... its just that so many people told him he is stupid - all the fuckers he is writing letters to: his school, his community, his peers - that he believe it. And how to make him see... I have to at least try. Nothing is worth much if we do not at least try.

bfg on going to the doctor; take notes Canada!

2011-02-10T00:29:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I had caught a cold. It was exam time so there was no way I was missing school. I would catch naps in the woman's tatami room when it got too much. It sucked but I survived. I did not want to go to the doctor. The idea of going to the doctor was something that promised all the challenges of being in a foreign country without the grand adventure. Not even a Starbucks mug for me to gloat over.

When I woke up this morning I felt like shit. When I got out of bed, I almost collapsed.

I was just so dizzy, that has not happened to me for sometime... in fact, I can not remember really ever being so bad. I texted my supervisor promising to call later on when she was at school and fell fast asleep.

In the end, she called me. It was 10:30am, more than three hours after I texted her and I was still zonkers. Even though she was on the phone and could not see me, I was embarrassed at having drooled all over my pillow. My Muji pillow cases are sacred artifacts after all.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

I was afraid to answer. Was this a trick question? Like if I say no does that mean I am not sick enough to warrant staying home? But I did not want to go. I was scared they are going to ... do things. I don't know but I was scared. "I don't know."

"I understand. You are sick you can not think."

I do no't think it has to do with being sick but okay.

She continued, "I will come then... around 3 o clock. Do you want something?"

I could not believe she would do this for me. "Thank you." I closed the phone and went back to sleep.

Hours later, she messaged me saying she was on her way. I carefully picked out a doctor appropriate outfit: must be 2 pieces so if they need to look at my chest I do not have to show my crotch, many layers to keep warm but easy to discard a certain amount depending on what section of my body they needed to see. Etc.

When she arrived she had a bag full of food, "For you! I did not get sushi heehee." but she got me my favourite coffee and juice, rice balls, some noodles.... more coffee. It was heaven in a bag. I had not eaten the entire day and though I was not hungry I know I need to force myself. And no matter what state I am in, I can always have coffee.

"Do you have your insurance card? It is blue like this one."

"Yes, of course I have it! I always keep it in a little pouch in my wallet." I pull out my wallet. The pouch was empty... "Oh it must be... oh my god! It is not here." I never take out my insurance card. Since I drive to school ever day I always keep it on me in case I get into an accident or something. But it was not there. "I do not understand. I never used it."

She called the school to see what had to be done as I looked in my file of "all things Japan that are uber important"... no luck.

She closed the phone. "Tanaka san said we have to pay. It will cost about five man."

I have one man six sen yen in the bank. "Oh, I can not afford that now!"

She said, "Do not worry. I will pay for you and when we get reimbursed you can give me the money."

I wanted to cry. I wanted to be home. I wanted my card. I wanted to not be sick. And I felt so horrible. "Okay..." I put on my jacket getting ready to leave holding back tears of disappointment that I could be so stupid and irresponsible. As I shut the bedroom light I saw my bookshelf, "One moment. Let me just check in one more place." I went to the top shelf were I have a little bin I put papers that I have not classified yet. It is how I cheat. And sure enough, there was my card. I have no clue how it got there but it was there and I had found it. Elated, we both headed to the car but by then I was sweating and ready for a nap.

"I am not sure what clinic to bring you to. Do you know?" My sensei is always so thoughtful. In her situation, I would have brought said foreigner to where ever was convenient to me and not bother asking.

"Actually... do you know Magarikane clinic?" Another amazing fact was that after having read on facebook that I was sick, my Japanese friend Mao emailed me a clinic that offers English speaking doctors. I did not even have to ask her... she just messaged it to me. Can you believe that?

Off we went and in less than five minutes we were in this cute little brown building.

Walking in I was surprised to see facial creams on sale... it was odd. There were three nurses there and I was starting to get nervous. They gave me a form and a thermometer which I had to stick in my armpit. Classy!

I answered the questions but my thermometer was broken. My supervisor informed the nurse where she promptly ran to a back room and came out with this mega thermometer. I was super afraid at that point a thought running through my mind that she would ask me to drop my tights or something. I looked at her with big eyes. She zapped my forehead and said. "Ahhhhh 36.8 degrees" and wrote it down. It was a super Star Trek moment and I wished for a fleeting moment I had my Vulcan ears.

As I sat back to begin waiting, my name was called. "Huh?" Huh!? How is that possible? I just gave her my form. Not only that but I made the nurse actually work by helping me... does that not mean I would have to wait at least an hour?

I was escorted to a brightly light area with many a white door. The nurse opened one about half way down and motioned for me to sit down. "Influenza test" she said. Enough English for me to understand.

She took out a long thin Q-tip as she explained in Japanese that she needs to take some of my snot. "Okay," Not sure what to do, I tilted my head back.

And up she rammed that mother fucker. I felt like my brain was being tickled. It was so weird and disturbing I instinctively turned my head away ever so much. She did not try to reframe me at all just followed me and she turned that mother fucking thing into the deep recesses of my nasal cavity.

And then, just when I started to cry from the feeling (the kind of tears you get when plucking your eyebrows) she stopped. "Iiiii."

After mixing my fluids with what looked to be a device very much like a pregnancy test she said, "Chyotomatekudasai" and left me.

I fell asleep so I am not sure how long I waited but when the female doctor arrived I was relieved. In Quebec, they passed a law saying citizens can not request a civil servant of a particular gender (driving test examiner, voting administration, etc.). I am very much for this and try my best to follow this ideology myself even before the law was passed. The only time I have ever preferred a particular gender though is with a doctor. I never asked for a woman before because I think it would be hypocrisy but I do feel like there are certain things female doctors just understand more...

"You do not have influenza," she said, "but you do have the symptoms. Also, you are very pale so I am concerned..." she checked my throat. "How do you feel?"

And I told her I felt horrible but that I was not sure what part of me was in pain from being sick and what part of me was suffering from ladytime which started this wretched morning.

"Ah!" She understood. "Chyotomatekudasai"

I waited a long time. Must have been five minutes when a nurse returned.

"Kusuri." and she handed me medication explaining to me in Japanese how I was to administer it. I will allow myself this peacock moment that I actually understood everything she said even though my head and uterus were about to implode.

She actually got my medicine for me. I was stunned. I paid her the 2,000 yen and went on my way.

In less than twenty minutes I came into a clinic in a foreign country and was offered better service, better care and much cleaner facilities - eating off the floors clean - than I have ever, EVER witnessed in Canada.

The staff were so gentle and kind. When I showed my supervisor the medicine she nodded her head. "They are very kind. Usually, the do not do this. But you are so they wanted to help you." To avoid me having to go to a pharmacy, they fulfilled my prescription for me. I am still overwhelmed and can not believe it. This happening to me, a supposedly unwanted gaijin? My friends, colleagues and the clinic were more helpful and polite than any doctor I have seen in my life and that is a scary thought.

The medical system seems to be similar to Canada with insurance and such but the quality is of an entirely different level. In a way, I am kind of ashamed. Before leaving Canada, I was very sick and every doctor I saw refused me. I could not even go to the CLSC - they showed me the door and said to try again in six months. I ended up in a walk-in clinic where I waited five hours. And I had to pay $60 for a note for work. My adventures, because that is what it did turn out to be, showed me that a social medicare system does not necessitate bad quality, grumpy doctors and nurses that take sick pleasure in sticking a needle in your arm; definitely a moment of culture shock for me.

Canada, I think it is time for you to wake up and take some notes!

bfg on seeing the face of god; or Starbucks Challenge #2: Nagoya

2011-02-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

My lungs are on fire. It hurts to breath much less swallow and little men are stomping on my eyelids saying, "Close it dammit! Close!" But my fingers are itching to write this. I have to write this.

When my friend Vanessa (yes same name and both from Montreal at that! Luckily she has blonde hair) announced on her facebook status that Miyavi was performing in Nagoya in February, I hastily commented that I would love to go with her. Up until today, it was hard to believe that I would go see him...

Now she was probably disappointed to discover that I am not a Visual-K fan not by choice but just that until today I never really bother with the term. And no, I don't know any of his songs really. I first "discovered" Miyavi by accident two years ago; I was looking for a youtube video of "Hit the Road Jack" and came across this:

I remember watching this and just falling in love. Usually, one does not notice accents when you listen to someone singing and yet here even if blindfolded you would know this fellow is Japanese with his clumsy "r"s and "l"s. I continued to watch several of his music videos loving his cutting edge style, his effeminate ways (to me) and his guitar. God, that black guitar... And the entire time I thought how I would never see him live. He would never come to Montreal and what was the chance of me being in Japan when he is playing? Right?

You would think of course that since the time Vanessa bought my ticket, I would have spent more time researching and memorizing the lyrics to his songs but in all honesty it never really sunk in that I was actually going: not when I bought the ticket, not when I was riding the Shinkansen, not even when I was stuffing the locker at the back of the concert hall with my bag and coat. Possibly because I am sick but I think mostly because he was just a Youtube fantasy in my mind. I never really imagined him beyond the 2nd dimension.

Some Wally Lamb book ends with the line "God is in the roundness of things"; that line came to mind when Miyavi walked onto the stage. I was expecting a get-up a la Boy George Golden Years: full make-up, an outfit that out does Lady Gaga and Elton John on their most extravagant days and a hat. Instead, a slim body dressed in an almost too thin black shirt with a boat neck cut, black shpants and, yes you guessed it, black sneakers walked on stage. The only other person there was his drummer, a talented individual who I didn't even notice was playing in his zebra print underwear until the second half of the show because I was all eyes on Miyavi.

I never do well in crowds or parties since I get all shy; I much prefer intimate drinking gatherings so though I was relatively close to the stage I was probably the Audience Oldie standing with my arms folded preserving my voice by not shouting and standing in the way of the all to eager jumpers.

From the first note, I just could not stop thinking of how amazing this artist is. Some of his songs I do not enjoy in the least; not my type of music. But the show was mesmerizing principally because of how charismatic that man is with his guitar. No professional, I could not help but gawk at each note, his pace, his rhythm. Even his timing... it was like a Kawabata novel! His songs, especially at the end, often fool you; you expect something low like a "dam -dam" and he gives you a light "bing" and says thank you. You expect a high note ending with some screaming, and just when he builds you up, it ends. And then right when you have nothing left to expect he belts out this scream where even from where I was standing I was able to admire two perfect white rows of teeth (truly an achievement here in Japan).

Then is the fact that other than the drummer it was just him and us. The stage had five microphones set up with one split so that he can make "rap like noises" ( I really do not know what else to call it - please forgive my ignorance). My favourite was the microphone facing the drummer. Instead of the drummer being behind the singer he was next to Miyavi, his right side facing us. (picture it now...) So that when Miyavi was facing him, it felt like they were in their own moment and we had a chance at a sneak peek. It created this intimate feeling of getting a glimpse of what it must be like when it is just the two of them playing together.

Much more handsome in person than in photos (and he is handsome in photos so you can imagine) the best part of his looks are his eyes because they too deceive. Manga eyes, not like Bambi but almond shaped that when closed you think they are tiny so each time he opens them it is like "Wait a second...!"

I can go on but all of this quiet frankly just made me so curious as to who this person is. Why did he pick up a guitar because it looks like he was born with one? And though I praise him for his genius the best part of tonight is seeing a man - A HUMAN being create this pregnant atmosphere of abandon and transparency. When he felt like flicking his wrists or dancing Celtic or jumping in the air he did it - so it was no surprise when the little Japanese lady with her hair tied up in a scrunchy that made her look 70 years older than she was squat down in sumo position and fling her head side to side in complete loss of self - though she did excuse herself when she knocked into people. It is moments like that which make me want to do something, write or draw (god, I can't draw), sing or prance, or SOMETHING. I think that is why I love meeting authors and such; I realize their not a name on a cover or an "idea" or a youtube video but a person who simply just did not hold back.

I left Nagoya with an empty wallet having claimed my Starbucks prize, a travel mug which I can now check off the list, along with a Miyavi t-shirt and bag. I do intend to return to the city but this night was, despite being poor, sick, looking like a troll, cold and having missed the last bus home, perfect.

bfg on the japan challenge a la starbucks

2011-01-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

The only one that matters since it is me doing it.

So it is official: I have re-contracted and am staying here at least until August of 2012. We shall see what happens then.

So with all this time left, I want to see everything. Some foreign countries I would love to see like Russia and Korea. But really, I came here for Japan and Japan I will see.

But where to go? Where to start? I told you all before I am a woman run by the power of the list: checking off the box, crossing it off, highlighting them and numbering them - I live by this.

But what theme should I go by for Japan? Literature? Museums? Randomly going places- I can not do. I needed a list.

When my friend G was here for the holidays we did find time from all our Tokyo travels to shop in Shizuoka. I love Shizuoka more after that holiday in Tokyo. The shops in Big-T may be huge and just MEGA but Shizuoka has pretty much everything you want without the crowds. Not to mention not getting that overwhelming feeling of "So Fucking Much" when you walk into the four floored LOFT in Tokyo. Maddening.
Towards the end of one shopping excursion, we passed by a Starbucks where a mug of Shizuoka caught my eye! It is f-ugly but it says Shizuoka; how could I not buy it? They have all these other mugs but I needed my Shiz.

Then G lifts up one of those pamphlets that showcases all the mugs available. I roll my eyes turning away at how stupid it is to have a mini catalogue of the cups. Did anyone say useless?

But she really opened it and my eye did catch a map of Japan. I looked.

poster is up in my room

There before me was my list.

The map has points all over where Starbucks has their mugs. Not too many. Not too little. Just enough to do in 18 months I have left. Useless to lifeline in a matter of seconds!

And so Mug # 1 Shizuoka has been obtained. And only when I travel to those destinations and get me another mug will the item be checked off my list.

Some may call this the ramblings of a control freak. Others may say this is too anal. I say, hell to it.

Get ready Japan. bfg is acomin'.

bfg on tarzan moments

2011-01-27T05:27:00.000-08:00

I have two posts in my head but this one has been brewing for longer and this ain't soup; if I do not write this soon the magic of the moment will dissipate and I will forget.

Momo means "peach" in Japanese and the student in Class "3Z" who sits in the front row reminds me of one. She is gorgeous: she has a peach coloured blush to her checks, maybe from her Asian toned skin, round manga eyes that are so innocent, a fine figure and plush lips. Basically, she is breathtakingly beautiful though she could use a little height and, too me, still looks so young which means - she won't lose the look until she is 70. Oh, the horrors of being a white woman.

I digress.

Momo is beautiful and with all that you can just imagine how much I hated teaching her. Whenever Momo walked into my class these past 16 weeks, she has had the look of a civilian entering a lion's den. An untamed lion. With a spike collar. And razor sharp claws. And bad breath. And - you get the picture.

And while teaching- oh the distraction! I would be saying something, "The future tense in English is...." Momo dares to look at me and I meet her eyes. She looks down at her desk and I can feel her panic. I loose my train of thought.

I almost never call on students. I always say sorry when I do and the Japanese teacher's can not understand this. "Just ask the kids that like to talk if you feel bad."

Fuck you! I was a kid that likes to talk (now I am a semi-old person) but I hated it when teacher's called on me. "If I knew the answer I would raise my hand! Leave me alone."

So Momo's fear could not be that... I could not understand. I asked her several times... nothing. She would look away and I honestly felt like a monster. I must be ! I scare peachy girls! bfg was no BFG.

This last semester has been very difficult and odd. The third year students only have three weeks of class whereas I have seven weeks with my first years. So from Day one, I was prepping my third years for their exam while prepping for first year classes. The rhythms do not jive and it has been difficult to keep up.

Considering how successful my Mega Hanko review classes were, where I am basically the Hanko Prostitute giving the kids 5, 10, 15, 50 even! hanko I thought it would be great to do it again.

Then Momo and the other "really shy kids" that stare at me with the Look-of-Terror came to mind: Mega Hanko is Mega Scary. How could I get them into it...?

Walking into class Tuesday the kids found a POSCA marker and a stack of scrap paper on their desks. "Some questions I will say SPEAK and you have to say the answer. Some questions I say WRITE and you have to write it down and wave it in the air. Ready...."

It took her fifteen minutes but Momo eventually picked up the marker, wrote the answer on the paper and, I still can't believe it, she tried! I almost gave her a thousand hanko on the spot. But it was not fair; she was not the first one to do so and Team Supersonic got the points.

But... three questions later and she was not just trying, she was going at it: writing fast, talking with her team mates, looking things up in the book. I tried my best not to beat my chest and howl - IT WAS WORKING.

And then - even now writing this, I can not express it right... dam you words!! I love you but in this I am failing... I feel so relieved that I am NOT a monster -- And then, she laughed.

Yeah, she was having fun. Looking for the answer, trying to write it down and answer, disappointed when someone else beat her team to the punch, thrilled when her team got their hanko.

I did not say a word to her and I hid everything that was happening inside. Especially my third years, I love them. I feel guilty that it took me this long to find a venue for Momo, my peach girl but I know she will always be my yardstick. Whenever I have a student in a class that I can't reach, no matter what I do, I have to remember Momo - that sometimes something so simple - like changing the way a student express themselves from the spoken to written word - can change everything; make me a better teacher and, more importantly, make the Momo's out there smile.

- and that my friends is my Tarzan moment.

bfg on Suck It: a review of True Blood by an amateur in everything except expressing vulgarity

2011-01-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

I am working on my thesis. Which means looking for any form of procrastination.

Another word for culture.... tradition? No, no. Culture? No that is the word I used 8 million times... Didn't I say I was going to write a blog post on True Blood.

I was pretty sad I wouldn't be able to watch True Blood (and Dexter and Caprica and ...) with the bf but my True Blood party more than made up for it. It was a party for two with me as the third wheel; my friend K and C came over (she a fellow JET, he hopefully will be by this time next year). I had the file on my computer and they the projector. My awesome white walls were baptized with the oh-so-awesome visage of Eric. Yum.

My friend JG hates True Blood. And if you hate the site of blood... this show is not for you. But my deep affection for this show lies in the firm fact that the writers and director have one foot in cheap-stick entertainment and another in a complex social critique; a mixture that has me hooked, addicted, DEDICATED.

Point #1: Do not read the books. Garbage. Mme Harris I am very happy you are a fat rich lady but honestly, learn how to write a sentence. For the love of the English language and out of respect to your peers please try.

The main character in the books is such a cardboard - boringggg. And basically so is everything. It is like a soggy cake. The entire time you are eating it, you are thinking of eating something else ( I really could have used a dirtier example which is more moi but I wanted to keep this post as PG13 as possible).

This fact makes the writers and producers at HBO that much more amazing and divine.

Point #2: Setting. One of the charismatic aspects of True Blood for myself is the scenery shots. It isn't dark and creepy in the gothic style one is used to seeing with vampire folklore. Nor is it Twilightesque in the sense that it is set in a high school. With the staple wooden shack bar and pick-up trucks, TB is really set in a place that feels. The setting is so alive and so riveting that it can be considered as one of the great characters in this series.

The graveyard is my favorite for it reminds me of home: instead of being dark and gloomy it is dark and welcoming... it feels more like a historical site than a danger zone.

Sookies' house is another example: deceivingly large for the rooms themselves are small but there are so many that connect one after the other... shiver. I want to curl up with a book and be chased by a warewolf all at the same time! The confusion! The contradiction! Adrenaline rush that one can't help but Love it!

Now perhaps this is because I am my mother's daughter but I most point out that the fact that you see the characters rewearing outfits, mixing and matching items increases that sense that this is a living breathing place. That is life - one closet in a town with a graveyard where some dead famous uncle is buried. It makes it so that when the supernatural does occur the imagination is more willing to fall into the beauty of believing it all for the 54 minutes of HBO goodness.

Point #3: The characters.

Really. Let us take Jason. Arguably the best-looking of all the male beauties that have graced the TB scene, Sookie's brother is a genius when it comes to being stupid. The Santa line takes it all.

"Warewolves exist?"

"Apparently!"

"Santa?"

Oh my God! Marry Me!

Many a time during these three seasons has Jason brought the audience on a roller-coaster ride. There are moments where he seems to be improving, waking up from his dream state of "D-U-M-B" only to so gracefully fall back to being clueless Jason. He is the Han Solo of the cast: the comic realease and hopefully the constant in this show. The unevolving character who just spins around in circles. Because people like that do exist and it is always nice to have a flatline.

Now to the villian who is.... no body. Or everybody. See, that is just it. The moment we begin to point the finger at anyone TB goes and problematizes this. What is a victim? Perpetrator? Where do we draw these fine lines? These are ideas I face a lot when reading history, especially about Japan, and with TB I love the idea of exploring it on an individual basis because I also begin to ask myself if there are different ethical standards on the micro/macro level.

Eric probably is the best example of this point. This resent season the audience was given a glimpse to Eric in his earlier vampire days and even as a human. Suddenly, so much of the ruthless actions we have become accustomed to expect from him are ... understandable. And then what? What do we do? Love him for it? Fantasize about him THAT much more because he isn't just hot but a troubled rogue you want to save? What does that say about you!? About us? Fuck, I love this show.

Please someone buy this for me.
Anyone...

Speaking of Eric, I must also make something clear. I totally want to sleep with the man but I am and always will be unless something really stupud happens a Team Bill member. In fact, if you are Team Eric please stop reading, go away and don't come back.

Now that we got rid of unwanted company, I don't think I need to delve into the details of how us Team Billers support the relationship between Sookie and Bill. And though it maybe a little because we want big E for ourselves, the fact remains that lust between Eric and Sookie is natural but just that: lust. Bill and her have their own bucket of worms but the tensions in their relationship relate more to affection. And they have great sex so no complaints.

No, but really. Even Warewolf man is a better option than Eric. Warewolf Boy and Sookie are a team and are attracted to each other... something that was totally building up towards the end of Season Three and hopefully they will continue this storyline. I would like to see if they would explore the triade many of us find ourselves confused by in our love life: extreme lust which can be mistaken for love (Eric); extreme affection which can be mistaken for life-time partner (Bill); and compatibility which can be mistaken as either lust or, more likely, love (Warewolf Boy). It is a story line I would not mind they explore.

That said, I am still Team Bill. Fear not!
So watch the show. Again. And this time, you better like it.

I can't lie though. The whole Eric and Bill thing is crazy awesome. I just wish Bill was allowed to speak in his cute British accent (because let us be honest, Canadian may be the "best" accent but Brits by far have the sexiest) instead of some Southern brawl but maybe there will be a revamped edition when the show actually ends.

Lafayette. Six Feet whatever - that black dude is one tall mother fucker. And I am very jealous at his make-up application skills. Lafayette continuously explores ideas of genderization and language. The English language, unlike other Latin languages, does not genderdize items (la /le in French for example) but it does associate social stigmas with objects. The hoop earrings and head scarf on a man who is good in the kitchen, talks with his hands and can kick your ass any second and done so in a way where you don't make the association initially - that is the genius with this character (and speaks to how well he is played). Lafayette wears these items as a part of his person not as a public statement. The character really integrates it well.

To the left is Nelsan Ellis as himself
and to the right him as Lafayette.
Oscar performance!

And it is wonderful to see him grow as a character. Up until this season, we were never privileged to see the affectionate side of L and it brought out some of his vulnerabilities behind the spatula and fake lashes. Yet, it didn't spill things on a table like the writers are in some hurry to get the ratings to tell a story.

Which comes to the conclusion of this: story telling. True Blood doesn't just tell a story, it shows us slowly, dramatically, rhythmically to the point where you hear the sound of your blood pounding when you discover Bill's dark secret along with Sookie at the end of this last season. True Blood brings the age old art of bonfire storytelling to the modern world. HBO, I love you for it!

PS: HBO, please be as awesome and amazing with Song of Ice and Fire because I will have a hernia if you don't get that right. Like I might come over and protest. Loudly. Violently. Etc. with love xoxo vgg

bfg on being the big green alien

2011-01-18T03:10:00.000-08:00

So I have many a blog post written and none finished.

Suck it up. (no, am STILL not over suck. or ass. It provides too much entertainment these cold, cold nights for me to let go).

The good news: I finished my draft of my thesis.
The bad news: I rewrote certain sections and though better its not... perfect. Its not exactly whats in my head. Why does it always sound so much better IN my head? Note to self...

There was an anecdote I wanted to use in my conclusion that I ended up cutting because it seemed one too many personal accounts for a Master's thesis. But it is probably one of, if not THE most memorable moment in my short history in Japan (to date! The future is so promising).

At the end of semester, I gave my students a survey in both Japanese and English asking them if they liked me, liked English, wanted to travel, and, most important for me, if my tests were fair and what else they wanted me to teach them the following term.

As to point A, an overwhelming 94.6% said my tests were FAIR! I couldn't believe it since all the teachers comment at how difficult my exams are. This is one of those moments where I fully intend to plastic bind a pie chart with the results and whip it out next English teachers meeting. I need a Law and Order outfit for that.

As to the second point, most of the students wanted me to teach them about television culture. I was very surprised by this as it meant them not understanding the majority of things.

"Oh! You expect captions... right."

I explained to them that if we did this they need to tell me what they like because there are so many choices.

"Sensei, what like you?" G is one of my favourite students. He is toooooo cute. I totally want to adopt him. He wears thick black glasses, has a winning smile which he flashes at me every instant he gets knowing I will shower him with hanko. So much for me not having bias. I totally fail in THAT department.

"I like shows about aliens!"

"Eh! Nandesuka!" Oh, that familiar chant. How I hate you.

"Aliens. You know..." I went to the board and took a marker. "You know... A...LI...ENS... They are green" I took the green marker, "and they have little antennas, "I drew antennas, "and they have space ships and they are from another planet. Aliens..."

Blank faces. Another talent I lack is drawing. So much for being Italian; I can't cook OR draw.

"Okay. Mimori sensei maybe you can help? How would you say 'alien' in Japanese?"

She looks at me. "Alien." She looks at my picture and says, "Gaikokujin."

Now in case you don't know, gaikokujin means alien in the sense of foreigner.

I stared at her. "I am a green alien?"

"Yes. You are an alien. You are gaikokujin."

In her defence, I was wearing a green dress that day.

bfg on nerves

2010-12-06T08:12:00.000-08:00

I took a nap today. God, slipping between my MUJI sheets with a heater on. Simple pleasures are the best.

I am a little on nerves. The next four weekends are packed with to-dos. End of semester has had me correcting and staying over-time, not that that is news. And I have to finish this draft by January 10th or I will just shoot myself. I need to sign off on this.

Last week, I sat in front of my computer every night and wrote nothing except unimaginative facebook statuses. Maybe I should ask my thesis advisor if I can add that to my word count? He is pretty cool after all...

I was inspired today after I spoke with my friend Hide who helped me out with SLAMDUNK BUSHIDO, a book that discusses how the manga Slamdunk is the modern reference for bushido. I have to confess I was really unenthusiastic when my prof "suggested" that I read it. I mean his suggestion is like God saying to Moses "I think you should go down the mountain. Just a suggestion." Right.

But buy book three, I was addicted. Yeah, I know. Vanessa Giovanna Salera Gaudio likes a manga that is about BASKETBALL. This is humourous. The last time I played basketball I was centre in high school in gym class. As I jumped for the ball determined to "tip" it to a player that was actually on my team, I missed it completely and the ball landed smack on my nose. I did manage to injure the other centre! This of course led to my high school motto, "Gym is against my religion" which followed with me arguing with my teachers that they could not force me to do something against my religious beliefs. Seriously.

But I love it. I adore this book. I am on Volume 12; 13 came out yesterday and you BETTER believe that even swamped with exam correcting I bought it. I don't want to write about it much here. I can't - need to save that for my Big-T but it really is the "Japanese Bible" as my Japanese friends like to say.

Right now, the funniest thing is I really, really miss home: Antonio, nephews, three am with Robert and talking about how Three Musketeers is the greatest book in the world while drinking champagne. Did you know I missed seeing William Gibson and Tad Williams? Those two had to choose the year I am not in Montreal to come. Really. Honestly. I may not buy paperback editions of your books anymore dudes~!! Only the hardcovers. But yeah, sometimes during the day I find myself looking into space and wishing I was home.

And yet, I feel so at home right now. My new furniture has like suddenly brought this "Your home" feel to life here. I am excited to go to my apartment and just sit in my MUJI chair and flip through kids books in Japanese while samurai movies play in the back ground. How I can have these two intense emotions - since everything is intense with me. Its the WOP factor - at the same time I do not know. But it is exhausting and I blame it for causing my writers block. Dam you! *shakes fist*

This Friday I have a party! Yeah. I am excited - I love dancing and singing and champagne. Doing it with friends is even better. I am a little perturbed as I got emails and requests from people I didn't even know so I capped it all up. Sucks but I am old and entertaining more than thirty people just won't be fun for me anymore. And this is an all-me universe. It is my blog after all.

I may invite Doutor boy but for some reason I haven't been able to talk with this guy. Promise though I haven't played with the toilet ONCE this week. Award winning.

Gina is coming in two weeks - a friend from home. Disneyland and Disneysea for Christmas and if money permits maybe a getaway to a spa hotel in Izu. I really should shut-up. Nerves? In the end, it is all my fault. I filled my schedule with this, volunteering at a kids Christmas party where BFG is the present, Fuji with some students, Muji coffee with another student (Lisa the hair girl), ...

Anyways, bfg needs to return to Big-T. Its always a good thing after referring to oneself in the third person.

bfg on Japan Attack

2010-11-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

I have this habit of thinking of the worse. I mean the ultimate worse. Please remember I have a vivid imagination - I can think up anything.

I also have this habit when people approach me that I am under attack 'cause I did something wrong: I broke something; I shoved something; I owe you money; I looked at you strange; I snarled at your cat; something that I did that I am probably totally unconscious of. It is kinda selfish of me to think that way - like the world centres around me - but so it goes.

So last night at 4am when I was doing the finishing touches of the last final exam I had to do for OC I and the Doutor Boy came up to me, I almost shat in my pants. I was listening to music and he caught my attention by leaning forward.

   Holy Moses! How long has he been standing there? Boy, he is standing
   really straight. Oh crap! What did I do?!

He was standing super straight and he was not smiling. In fact, he was almost frowning but not really. Okay, his face had tension. And his eyes were all small. I was scared. So scared I forgot he was Japanese. Baka-bitch moment #827374

   Boy, this is scary. What did I do now...? Did I crack that cup? I knew I put it
   down too hard. Shit! No, no. Was it the toilet seat? I really need to stop
   experimenting with those buttons in the toilet they must thing I do some
   serious Number Two every time I go....

He finally spoke after not blinking for a like a minute. By then I had removed my ear phones, which were blasting "Love the Way you Lie" on repeat, and gave him my most brilliant smile. Make it hard for him. "I ... am... sorry to interrupt you but I must speak with you."

At this point I was ready to vomit.

   Why me? Why do I get the sickos! I mean, I look like shit. I WEAR A
   WINTER HAT in here so the smoke doesn't get into my hair and this guy
   "must speak with me".

".... I am very sorry but...."

   Oh no! It is the toilet. Stupid Vanessa. Stupid stupid. What other 24 hr cafe
   is there around that actually serves real coffee? No where that's where!
   Fuck! Maybe it is because I plug in my laptop....

"You bought a toast before...."

   Brain fart. Not where he should be going... Did I like forget to bow or
   something? I always say thank you!

Smile! "Yes, I did!"

"With strawberry jam."

"Yes. I always take strawberry jam." Strawberry jam is one of those things when you eat it the world is at peace, all is well and you have no problems.

"And there was a grave error."

   The dude used the word "grave" What the fuck did I do? WHAT!?

"The toast is 200 YEN..."

   Idiot Vanessa! Did you give him like a 50 YEN instead of a 100 YEN?

"I am so sorry!" I go for my wallet.

"No!" The most expression he had so far. "You paid 210 YEN. We are so sorry for this error."

   You mean... I didn't do anything?

"I didn't do anything..."

"We are so sorry." He gave me a receipt and the 10 YEN. I start laughing hysterically.

"Your English is so good!"

"Thank you!"

And so we continued our conversation for a minute or so where I learned he was a Shizuoka Uni student and working late nights. Nicest guy, always makes my toast with a nod. That is why I was so surprised when he was ubber-serious, you know?

So now I am friends with Doutor Boy! Which is lovely because I do spend so much time there. His English is amazing though... think about it! He used the word "interrupt" and "grave". AMAZING.

And again, the moment the 10 YEN fiasco cleared up and I asked him a question about himself, he seemed a little surprised but was so open and just happy it seemed that someone noticed. Maybe too that he could use the thing he has been studying. I mean I feel like a BILLION dollars when I tell a taxi driver how to get to my house here. All to say - there is something I can not get my finger on but I love how the process of meeting someone in Japan really is like blossoming. Slow but really opening up.

This does mean of course I won't be playing with the Doutor toilet. For a while anyways. I tell you though, it is a wonder of Japan to behold.

bfg gets ready for furniture shopping with Yuka! Success!! Even though I am poor.

bfg on 37%

2010-11-21T04:24:00.000-08:00

I just got out of the bath. Like, really... I stood up, wrapped my big purple towel around me, flopped on my bed, opened my computer and the fake M&Ms I got from Muji and started this.

I took my first bath today probably since I was a kid. It is possible friends may have stuck me in a bath during an evening of drunken stupper but that doesn't count as I do not remember a thing.

It was wonderful. I got some fruity bubble bath from my friend for my birthday and I put that in. It felt like I was a Duchess or something. New white tub. Fruity water. An awesome manga to read in the bath... Divine.

Confession: I lasted ten minutes. By then, the idea of just sitting somewhere doing nothing gave me such anxiety I had to get out. Am I really that Japanese?

My skin is still tickling and my cramps have really subsided so I can understand why the Japanese say they don't feel "clean" with just a shower. Except needing to end it early, it was really nice and may be the thing I needed to get over my nervousness and go to an onsen. Actually, now that I am writing this maybe not. So it goes in Vanessa land.

Busy day but awesome. I tutored my little Miko-chan this morning. We invented a skipping rope spelling game which rocked. We played cards and learnt new words... the great thing about one-on-one teaching is how I can shift gears suddenly and turn everything into a learning experience. Even jump rope. It is something I want to do in my class but I like the skill and experience. I have been in classes with teachers like that but I don't know how to do it. I am a list woman. I write a list, I cross it off and I love every minute of it. (In case you are wondering, yes I am tutoring her on the side but she is a family friend so I am doing it for free. On JET you are not supposed to accept any more moneys and as tempted as I would be in Shizuoka everyone knows everyone. And if they don't, they soon will!)

I missed my bus but still made it to the library on time. I volunteered at the local library to read in English (or French or Italian) to little kids. No other word for that than great. Sometimes when I read the FB status' of my friends teaching in younger level schools I am a little jealous at the "oh so genki" remarks. Do not get me wrong - I am not made for elementary school but I do like the squealing and running around in hour doses. About 10 kids came today and it was great. The were super into the the book about Casey and Barney the dogs who ran in the snow. The giggled and clapped and yelled "Omoshiroi!" about a hundred times. And god, Japanese kids are so dam cute. I loved how at the end even the old lady who was listening came up to us and said, "Tanoshi!" I couldn't help but giggle and for those thirty minutes I really forgot about my to-do list. It was more relaxing than my bath! Me drowning in the excitement of six year olds. Not to mention books.

After that I helped my friend plan her Christmas party for the 12 kids she tutors. We are going to write letters to Santa Clause and bake cookies. So cute! It will be my one Christmas party and I am excited about it since it will probably be the closest thing to an actual Christmas Celebration for me this year.

And then - yes the day is not yet over - off to MUJI where I bought the nephew, the bf and my students some Christmas presents. That is when I saw it... the chair.

Back home I have Neal, my Reading Chair. I found his Japanese twin brother in Muji the first time I went there. But 10 000 Yen plus 1500 yen for shipping made it not worth it. But today - everything was 10 % off. It was like almost free! I bought the chair, pens and the presents I kinda mentioned above. The sibling arrives on November 28th along with my Disney tickets. Bliss.

List of trips I am planning: Vietnam in March, Montreal early May and Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Tokyo early August. My treats if my 3K word count blossums into 20K and I actually pass. Oh, post-masters life is going to be so ... different!

*

That said I was tagged to do this on Facebook but thought here would be more appropriate. Learning someones reading list is a sure way of getting to know them. heehee

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. (BBC, Guardian, whatever)

Instructions: Bold those books you've read in their entirety. Italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read only an excerpt.

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien - I read up to Half way threw Return of the King. My favourite is book 2.

3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

6 The Bible: My parents were so scared when I told them I wanted to read the Bible. And I did it. hahaha. Book of Amos is my favourite.

7 Wuthering Heights --Emily Bronte: I own several copies at home though.

8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell: my shame. Dark stain on my book list.

9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman: and I plan on going to Oxford in 2012 to visit my friend and reread the series. Sigh of pleasure.

10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott: Yeah. I am still super pissed she didn't end up with the neighbour. That never made sense.

12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier: But I am dying to! Birthday present!?

16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien: I don't think I can. Never liked his writing style just his ideas.

17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveller's Wife – Audrey Niffenegger: meh.

20 Middlemarch – George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell: in High School. I met my best friend there because we were reading it at the same time.

22 The Great Gatsby -- F Scott Fitzgerald: three times in one day the first time. I love this book.

23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina –Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis

34 Emma – Jane Austen: my ONLY austen unread. ANOTHER BLACK STAIN

35 Persuasion – Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Berniere

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - William Golden: And I never will. What retard put this here?

40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne

41 Animal Farm – George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown: In one day.

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabrial Garcia Marquez: Yes, unfortunately I read this piece of garbage.

44 A Prayer for Owen Meany – John Irving: and every time I think of it I think of my friend Cathy Humes!

45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery: and all the other nine

47 Far from the Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaids Tale - Margaret Atwood: fuck you atwood. This is SF. Face it.

49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding: love it.

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan: God. English at its best.

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martell

52 Dune – Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon

60 Love in the time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez: better but still bleh

61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov: amazing.

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas: YES YES YES.

66 On the Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula – Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes from a Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal – Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - Charles Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker: I just bought it and wrote a paper on it but haven't read it HAHAHA.

84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte's Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad: YES twice. Better the second time.

92 The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint Exupery: In English and French

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole: I could not finish this horrible book.

96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare

99 Charlie & the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Comments:

= 37% read. Glass half full.

This list sucks. I was scared there would be no Dumas. There is no list without that man's name on it.

Memoirs of a Geisha though? Confederacy of Dunces...? Really?

I really need to catch up on my Dickens. Shame.

bfg on fucking japan

2010-11-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

Table of Contents

Forward

1 - Why I fucking hate Japan

2 - Why I fucking love Japan

Forward

Like any good epic, a forward is required if for no other reason than to establish myself as a posh-Edith-Wardenesque type of writer. Is it working?

Tonight was supposed to be simple: Come home. Change. Fight the urge to nap. Go to Doutor and write at least 500 words for my thesis and clear out some ideas I am having a significant amount of trouble expressing without facial expressions, bodily noises and hand gestures to accompany it. Go home. Curl in bed with SLAMDUNK and actually get more than 5 hours sleep.

Right. I did all that. In fact, I am in bed right now. Curled up. SLAMDUNK volumes 11 & 12 are right by me saying, "Vanessa, please read us. Open us. Use us. Please. We need you." But something happened - see chapter 2 - and I just feel like I have to write it while the feelings are fresh and before I convince myself that perhaps shutting my WOP mouth would be better then telling the world about fucking japan. Oh me, oh my.

Chapter 1

I fucking hate Japan.

I am sick of the banking here. It is shit. It is shits creek without a boat or a paddle or a pair of underwear for some protection of any kind. The people are wonderful and nice but the hours are garbage, I can't get the convenience of whiping out the CCard and buying stuff (and getting points!). So I didn't really think about money until coming home, realizing I had enough money for supper but that was about it.

"No problem," Relaxed Vanessa told Scolding Vanessa. "Tomorrow is pay day! Just go to the bank in the morning and get money."

Relaxed Vanessa won until Brain Vanessa woke up and reminded all of Vs that one does not get paid in the morning. One gets paid when the bank opens... what is that, 8am? I am supposed to be on the train at that time.

Relaxed V chips in, "No problem just buy tickets with the Credit C... - FUCK YOU JAPAN."

So the no credit-cards-think-ahead-about-your-money-in-your-wallet business is not working out too well for me. I am a woman of the modern era. I manage all my bills online, pay them, save what I have to save and spend the rest until the sun don't shine.

Now, if I didn't have to go to the retarded JET "Mid Year Seminar", which is in essence bureaucratic masturbation of the worst kind, I would be fine. But no! I need to pay just over 1100 YEN to get my ass in some Workshop whose outline I could just read in an email and it would be as rewarding.

That said, some of you may be current JETS- as in future current JETs or now current JETs - and wonder at my resentment for having to go. All this week, I had to run around and reschedule my classes because I have to make them up before the test. The teacher's wouldn't meet for whatever reason - they are pretty busy themselves mind you - so it is difficult organizing a whole ring-around of class rearranging for that. AHHHH!

This also means that the following week I am teaching 4 even 5 classes in one day. That is disgusting.

On my way home though, Nicer Vanessa was telling Bitch-ass (no I am totally not over ass words yet) Vanessa "Well than Miss Smarty Ass. How would you organize MYS?"

I had to think long and hard on this one. Not to long - I have a thesis to write! - but I could see how it would be difficult, and there will always be a Grumbler, likely with a name that begins with a V because what can I say we are just like that, who is unhappy. But the one thing that was wonderful was seeing the other JETs, especially my fellow 1st years, and blurbing out everything. Everything.

"... and so Smart V, I would structure this support group style. Have a circle where people can share what is working for them, what isn't, ask questions and just be way more free style talk about whatever. Basically just meet, preferably over food that won't clog an artery. Our lunch was so much more rewarding where we sat down and just got to talk without thinking about the time, or spot light, or anything and let it out. Mixed in with some jokes and some "Oh I need to try that" I would say I would want to spend an afternoon doing that." But never, ever two days. Perposturous. And what are ridiculous activity to assimilate an activity in 10 minutes.

Since this is the bitter chapter of my post, I will comment yet again on the lack of insulation in this country. Rebuild your homes Toshiba-land and stick a personal computer in them while you are at it! My windows shake if I blow on them. I pee with a blanket and sometimes I wear my scooter helmet in the house to conserve the heat in my body. I also wear my helmut because for some reason I am hitting my head on doors and counter edges these days - don't ask. I am COLD people and I am from Montreal! Go figure! I never ever want to stay home and being at Doutor all the time is definitely saving me loads of cash on the hitting bill.

My lamentation, at least my written one, shall end here. For now.

Chapter 2

I fucking LOVE Japan

So yeah, the thesis. Lots of time at the 24 hr cafe. Lots of computer time and wearing jeans and toques with truck drivers and people who missed their last train for company. We are a cool, rough gang but we like our Doutor coffee and so...

A few days ago, a lovely young woman sat next to me. I was dying to compliment her on her dress which was like a potato sack and looked utterly gorgeous on her. I would wear that and people would probably pay me to take it off. This girl looked stunning with her carpet material red and yellow shoes, dark leg warmers and dark purple stockings that are so like my own it made me think of us as instant sisters.

After 5 hours and several coffees we smiled, nodded, giggled and then just said "hello" to each other. M and I now repeat this every night pretty much - just sit there from 11 pm to about 3am, she drawing manga and I trying to figure out ... thesisy things.

Today, I was with my friend A Lot Of Snow - my Native American name for Takayuki - typing away. The Thesis Partners both gunning for a December deadline. And so I think when M saw us she may have felt like she was intruding the great typing rhythm we had going - no honestly, I may need to record an album - and sat somewhere else. When I was leaving I plopped into a chair beside her.

"Ha! I am sorry I was really into my work. How are you?" This was said in half english half Japanese. This is probably my first friend whose English proficiency is equal to my Japanese. Weirdly enough, I am pretty excited about this - you know actually talking in Japanese outside of school and service situation.

"Daijyobu!" And then she takes out a bag. "ageru." It was for me.

A bag of cookies she made for me at the pasterie where she works. She also drew a manga drawing to go with it.

I was so touched. So moved. All I do is sit next to her and we giggle over being tired and drinking too much Doutor water and she went and did something Japanese that moved me to tears.

Of course, I opened the bag and ate some cookies which made her laugh. We talked some more and she is going to make a Christmas card for me which I will send Luca as a present. So exciting.

I know I said this before but it still just amazes me how beautiful friendship is with the friends I have made here. Perhaps it is because what they can not express in words - be it due to shyness or just language barrier - they express with a small but so thoughtful token. It really makes me feel so appreciated and loved and I miss home at that moment but know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Well maybe one other place.

DISNEY LAND. No no no.

DISNEY SEA!

YES BIYACHES! I AM GOING TO DISNEY ON THE 24th and 25th OF DECEMBER. Minnie and Mickey show, carolling, rides, the alice and wonderland room - all await moi. How can I not love this country? How can I not drown at the awesomeness that is qitche and corny Disney?

Admit it. Your jealous? And wait because I plan on wearing poka dots, bra, undies and all. Polka dots. Because Disney and Japan can't have it any other way.

That said, I don't do Epilogues. That is just overkill.

bfg pretends to go to bed but really intends to finish SLAMDUNK.

bfg on sharing the love

2010-11-15T05:41:00.000-08:00

So I think now is the time JET applications are sent in. TO THINK I was doing that this time last year... I was writing my thesis proposal too and going crazy because the JET application was so intense. I mean a lot of it is just your CV but you have to somehow fit them all in these really small boxes. APPLICANTS! Pay attention - one girl got her placement because she had nice handwriting on her application. True story. She didn't get into JET because of it, but she was given a high-level school because one of her work duties would be to comment on several essays. Crazy thing this JET program is.

I remember one of the most difficult parts was my list of placement preferences. Kobe, Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto were out for me because the odds were SO against me to get it. So, instead, I made a list of all the things I wanted.

1) Access to bookstores, preferably one with some English books.
2) A place I can buy clothes for a large white woman with an Italian ass.
3) A place that had a lot of museums and places to visit so that I don't feel like I always need to travel far and away to experience the "real" Japan.
4) No snow. I want to know what it is like for once in my life.
5) A place that was central enough so I can travel all over Japan for relatively cheep.

I showed the list to two people: my thesis advisor and my Japanese student. The ThA said to definitely consider Shizuoka. My student recommended another city that starts with a Y (yes, I forgot sorry!) and Shizuoka. So the Shiz got first place.

How many people do you know got everything they asked for on a JET application? NONE. But I did. I got the Prefecture I wanted, in the city I wanted, the teaching level I wanted (high school). I did not get a high-level school which was my dream but they didn't ask for it on the application so !

Am I still happy I got what I wished for? HELL YES!

In Shizuoka, I get an apartment subsidy which was something of major concern for me (it covers a little less than half my rent). For someone who is sending half her paycheque home, every little extra counts! One of the MTL JETs who got Toyama Prefecture had to pay Key Money, a "gift" to the landlord, and 2 months rent up front. This was ridiculous! Though you do need to bring cash to start off with 3K is a little too much... and that was just for her apartment.

Also, the trip from Tokyo was short and sweet. I mean it sounds like nothing now but let me tell you Orientation is hell, a hell where you just want them to shut-up so you can sleep. Getting to your place so soon is a blessing in disguise.

Also, Shizuoka is a super safe place. Even for Japan, many friends I have made here who have recently moved here comment at how wonderful it is to be able to leave your helmut in your bike basket/ on your scooter seat without worry of it getting stolen. I left my iPhone in my bike basket three times downtown and it was untouched. For someone who is always out studying until 2, 3 am every night it is somewhat comforting to not have to concern myself as much about just things. (I should say a girl got her bag stolen in one of two nightclubs in Shiz. The bag was found with her papers and stuff but her 70000 YEN went missing. But that is a long complex story which I can sum up with honestly, if I saw 700$ and didn't take it I would call myself stupid. I digress.)

Shizuoka has so much to offer in shopping, convenience and places to see (cue FB pics). Basically, my prof was right; it really checks off everything on my list. I highly recommend if you are considering applying to the JET Programme put the Shiz as an option.

I almost forgot the most important part of Shiz! I'M HERE. And I host one hellofa party. Ask the stray cats, even they get a piece of the action.

Anyways, just in general if you need any help with your application just give me a shout! I have no problems with helping out if I can!

bfg on the worst thing that could happen did

2010-11-12T06:43:00.000-08:00

I like Justin Bieber's music.

There. I said it. Let the vegitable throwing, tsking and Facebook un-friending begin.

It was not intensional. It happened... I was chained, forced. I fought the whole way. What can I do?

It started when I had the bright idea to teach 5 weeks on Canadian Music. This way, I would teach them the grammar points "I like..." and "I prefer..." and also, get these kids into answering WHY they like something. The WHY question is not a popular one in the Japanese school system.

"Banessa sensei. On the test, you ask if they like Celine Dion."

"Yes." I waited for the point.

"And then you asked why."

"Yes." Still waiting.

"Well, why?"

Um, maybe because I want my students to engage in an actual conversation with someone and not just nod their heads in yeses or nos.

Anyways, I proposed the idea the JTEs were like, "Who were you thinking of?"

"Well, I am thinking Celine Dion and Shania Twain... " which is great. I adore Shania, love Celine and I ended up doing a whole DIVA lesson that is working well. Plus, these are mega stars so am justified.

"Oh, and Justin Bieber."

Shit. "I guess." But I felt I should give in to the suggestion. They rarely offer anything so when they do I feel like I should oblige. Not to mention that every other 16 year old knows about the Beaver kid. So, what to do...

I decided to introduce the whole unit with him. So for the past two weeks, I have been watching One Less Lonely Girl and Somebody to Love over and over... the first couple of times I tuned out. Or so I thought.

"Banessa! so jyozu!"

"Huh!?"

"Know all words." And I do. Every one. "Thanks." I wanted to rip the kids hanko card in half.

Then it moved to class conversation. "Okay so, do - you - like - Justin - Bieber?" I asked this really slowly.

I was floored when a student raised their hand and said, "Do you like Biever?"

Whoa, I gave that kid like a million hanko. "No! But I think he is a good dancer."

"Ehhhhh! Banessa sensei Bieversukinai!??? Demo, Banessa sensei dance."

"...dance?" I looked to the JTE with the Spock expression "please translate, this Vulcan does not understand" eyebrow thing though not as well.

"They said you sing and dance so how can you not like."

What to say at that point... I was dancing. I knew the words. That night I downloaded his CD and learned that the kid knows how to play the TRUMPET. I mean shit that is kinda cool... as well as the drums, piano and guitar. Respect.

So there you have it. I have gone to the Dark Side of the Force. I will have to buy myself one of those Japanese sick people masks and paint it black.

bfg returns to thesis. Yes, that again.

bfg on the troubles with getting high

2010-11-07T06:18:00.000-08:00

I get high when I teach. Especially when I see my students raise their hand to answer a question... holy moses, I get thrill and chills everywhere.

These are the kids who hid their faces in towels and under the desk? Do not get me wrong, some totally still do, but I can say I have about 50% of them talking and VYING to speak.

For example, some of my students have gotten into the habit of not just raising their hand but also of STANDING UP and saying, "Hai! Hai! Banessa sensei! Hai!"

My favourite is Genki Boy, a 3rd year student who is so god dam cute I want to wrap him up and bring him home. I try my best to only call on him once because I don't want to show favouritism but it is sometimes difficult. For example:

"Okay guys. What colour is this?" I flip to a new Keynote slide where it is completely covered in pink. Obviously, I was teaching colours.

Genki boy raises his hand as do about 12 other students in a class of 19.

"Megane girl!"

"Pin-ku."

"Yes! Pink. Okay memo!memo!memo!" I say this to get them to write it down... it is my hint that it will be on a test.

"Okay. So show me something pink. What is pink?"

Now, Genki Boy had raised his hand again and I saw him but he had already answered several questions and Shy Boy #2 in the back of the fifth row was semi-raising his hand...

"Shy Boy #2!" But right as I said it and pointed, Genki Boy JUMPED out of his seat, ran to Shy Boy #2 and stood in front of him so it was as if I pointed at him and answered. " Pen is pin-ku." He held up his pen.

I tried so hard to be mad but we all laughed and I gave them both hanko.

So, shit like that gets me high. I love teaching, I never want to stop I can go on and on like a Durasel battery. So after class I get a little low where I am shacking from all this energy inside. I usually calm down by collecting hanko cards and tests and listening to music. That class, I did just that humming Neil Young's keep on Rocking in the Free World as I picked up the yellow hanko cards of my 3rd years.

A student came up to me. "Sumimasen Banessa." She had the JTE with her.

"Yup!" I smiled but I spoke too quickly.

The JTE took over. "She does not understand her mark."

I look at the test. On the cover I put the marks of all three sections added them up and put both a mark on 30 and a percentage. "What is the problem?"

"Well, why is it 11?"

Now, had I been a little calmer or more sane in general I would have decoded this as a "there is a mistake with the 11 on 30 grade on this girls test". What can I say - another baka-bitch moment.

"Because she didn't study. How should I know?"

"Well, this does not add up to 11?"

I looked down. "Ha! No it doesn't."

I turned to the student. "Come see me at lunch, okay? Because I have to change the mark in my book and in the computer." I paused and made myself speak super slowly. "I am so, so sorry."

In all, I mad an error on three students' exams. With the other two it was the difference of one mark. With this, the girl went from an 11 to a 21 on 30. Talk about ultimate baka-bitch moment. I feel so guilty thinking she had to experience a moment where she looked at the test and was like "OMG, I got 36%". Horrible.

She came as asked at lunch and handed me the test. I changed the mark in the computer, in my book and on her paper. Then I took out my new stickers that I was saving... "You can have ANY sticker you want. As many as you want."

I had sparkling Minnies, Goofy and friends that popped out. Huge stickers! She could have had any of them. The sticker world was her oyster.

She pointed to the simplest of them all. A Mickey smiling. No popping, sparkling, frills, ripples or florescent colours. Just a plain small Mickey.

Okay. "Okay." I take sticker and put it on. "What else?"

"Eh? Daijobu."

"No! Don't you want the mega-awesome Minnie?" I started being Italian by pealing the sticker off without waiting for a response. I was just going to put it on.

"No. I like Mickey."

"But you can have more." I started pulling out other stickers like cupcakes and driving signs and Canada flags.

"Okay." She made an O with her fingers. Bowed. Walked away while still facing me. Turned. Ran.

I wanted to give this girl stickers to ungulitify myself and she denied me this. She could have had ANY of those stickers and she took Simple Mickey. Now I call her Simple Mickey girl in class. She smiles. The students are enjoying their English Native American style names I am giving them. Trust me, it is much better than me trying to decipher between the five Ryosukes in my class!

bfg returns to reading for thesis.

bfg on why I suck ass

2010-11-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

I like using the word "suck ass". It is really disgusting. I never realized that until I told someone, "You rock ass." and then they said, "That is disgusting" and then I visualized it and yeah... totally raunchy. Now I use it ALL the time.

So, I was reading some of my blog posts and I realized that they portray evil, bushy eyed Japanese English Teachers. When in fact, usually they are nice, wonderful and generous people.

So I thought to share a few anecdotes, the first one being about how I ... do things ass-like.

I actually go in early in the mornings. I get my tea, I make photocopies, I fix my scooter hair... you know. Do things. In Canada, I never gave a rats ass about my job. But here... I want everything to be perfect. Sometimes, I see the perfectionist my sister is with her kitchen in me when I prepare for a lesson. If there is one black spot on my photocopies I go bessurk, call the teachers in and demand a cleaning so my students can have perfect stencils. I won't use the recycled paper and I like my tests on A4 paper stabeled not large poster paper that is so ugly. Yes, they hate me when I photocopy. I am the Photocopy Bitch. Fuck, that would make a good Halloween costume someday.

So this morning, there I was happy to have made it alive, since who knows when I will be trampled to death by a wild pig, when M sensei, my supervisor, came up to me. M sensei is in her 50s but looks about 30... maybe 31. She is so cute - no other word for it. She is so tiny and cute like a mouse in a Disney movie. She is so kind and is always in a precarious position. I mean imagine this 4 foot 9 little thing between an Italian giant with flying hands and the "stoic" vice-principal? Yes, do light a candle for her.

"Banessa-sensei! Good Morning! How are you?..."

"Alive." I smile! I am a sadistic ass-sucker.

She stares. She blinks. "Okay... ne!? So, teachers tell me you must put back projector. I am sorry but you must."

Now, this requires some context. Anyone who knows me knows I can not spell. When I tell my students "Spelling Counts" the inner-non-teacher-Vanessa cringes in guilt and shame at having broken a promise long ago to never care about English spelling because it makes no sense. When I was dreaming about being Michelle Phiffer in an urban school back in Canada, I was struck with terror at the thought that I HAVE TO WRITE ON A BLACKBOARD (or Whiteboard). Holy asses! I can not do that ! No way. Nervous. Sweat. What if I do not shave my pitts that day? What if I misspell Canada and then forever I have branded the word "Kaca" as the name of my country in the minds of 40 students!?

But, Eureka! I have Jingu, my trusted computer companion who just happens to be a sexy delicious Macbook. I can do all my writing there and just project it all on the white board. I never thought that Toshiba-Sony-Land would have ONE projector for an entire school. Never.

So when I came to the Shiz... yeah man, it was so hard. I had to STEAL this projector. Sometimes I have to hunt people down. And though I have some shame, I abandon it all and RUN after the principal for the computer keys if it means not having to write on that board. Terrified is what I am and when afraid I am at my bravest or worst. It depends on your prospective.

So when M sensei told me I had to put back the projector, it suddenly got very hot in the room. "Ummmm, but then how am I guaranteed to have the projector. I mean I actually use it EVERY CLASS. And I am doing a unit on Canadian Music... , "where I spent HOURS downloading music videos and making crazy memo sheets and writing the lyrics because the stuff online has no proper punctuation and I felt guilty giving my students a stencil with the improper use of apostrophes, "so I can not teach without it. No way."

"I understand." Her face became flushed. I think she is afraid of me. "But it is the way."

And there I went like a fat-assed Italian baby I actually said, "Well, that way is shit."

Yup. The shame. There I am being mean first thing in the morning to the person who is my voice and it is totally not her fault. Later in the photocopy room, "M sensei! I am so sorry about this morning. I am just frustrated with "the way". Not with you." We chatted a bit and she said she totally knew and that I am very kind which is why I have so many Japanese friends (not nearly enough) blah blah. And then I said, "I have a temper you know."

"I am getting used to your ways."

Oh god. Total, donkey moment.

But I am honestly pissed. I mean we are 45 teachers plus a staff of part-timers... ONE projector!? Ridiculous! And what if someone uses it when I need it. Granted, I did make the JTE's make a poster with my schedule and post it on the cub board where the projector is which says PLEASE DON'T TAKE THE PROJECTOR AT THIS TIME (I made it in English but asked them to translate)...

It is not just that... Anyone who knows me knows I can not spell and I hate the sounds of bodily noises. So the gargling, testicle shifting, sniffing, not to mention noodle slurping... I may have to choke someone or harakiri myself. So, only when I am correcting, I plug in some Neil Young or Eminem and correct away. At first, I thought the teachers thought I was a cunt and some probably do since I don't make the kids bow or say crazy polite things to me in greeting, but since they see me doing this after my work hours... now the running joke in the office is "When is Vanessa not correcting?"

But this past week I have been sick and I (re)discovered something wonderful... my disgusting LL Room which is a snap shot from the 1970s at their worst! But I have a set of speakers I "found" which I just took to the room and use to play music from my computer really loud while the kids work ... now I go there, plug in my iPod and work away in a huge ugly room where I don't have to shiver with disgust (just from cold) and can blow my nose without guilt (since that disgusts the others around me).

All to say, I am not so nice right now... but I am trying to be a really tough teacher on top of it all for my 1st years... I am doing it military style - if they don't do their work -5 hanko, lunch hour and after school with Vanessa conjugating verbs and they STILL have to do the work... Studying, bonus assignments, extra help... with some of them I am getting somewhere but it is soooo much work. I love it. I just wish I didn't have a thesis to wrinkle my brow over. It feels like the world is on my shoulders sometimes which is so solipsistic of mean but is the truth.

But now that I have written this and spent about 2 man on an absurdly large Amazon order all in the good name of "thesis research", I feel better. Thank guys!

In other news, Blue came to see me the other day.

"Banessa sensei. Here! For you!"

It was a Disney bag and a letter. "Happy Birthday!" I almost cried. I did after because it was the most thoughtful present - coasters with famous Japanese water-prints on them. "Blue! No, your birthday is important! This is too much..."

The teachers were staring. Blue talking seems to be big news.

I didn't know what to do. Should I bow or look away or something? Fuck it, I thought, I'm white. I gave her a big bear hug. "Thank you! This means so much to me!"

The letter was amazing. She told me what she wanted to be when she grew up and why... it was so touching, and real and awesome. It was an awesome teacher moment which she will probably never know how much I will cherish forever.

There is one other anecdote about my experience in Japan... actually I would have to say to date it was my most difficult experience with culture shock.

Two weeks ago, I was on a high having taught two classes semi-successfully. Coming back to the teacher's room, I heard something strange... "Is someone crying?"

No one answered of course. I spoke English and I didn't really expect anyone to answer... I just went off in search. It didn't take me long to find Lisa wailing with Y sensei, her male homeroom teacher, standing to the side facing the WALL and a female teacher chattering away in a voice I would use when having coffee with a friend. I didn't understand.

Now anyone who knows me knows I can not spell, I hate bodily noises and I have an active imagination. So, when I saw Lisa crying and two teachers one of which was speaking in a low voice... I was certain something bad happened. "Oh My God, did her father die? Her brother!?" Lisa is so lonely... her parents are divorced and she never sees her father or brother. She also never sees her mother who drives to Hamamatsu everyday. To feed herself, she buys food from the conbini... her English is superior so we talk during lunch sometimes where she told me these things and I had to nod and not cry. Fuck, I cry a lot.

No one answered me and I waited and could not help but watch and worry wanting to support her but knowing it was not my place.

I never thought they were talking about hair.

When it was over, I chased Y sensei down. "Y sensei! I am so sorry, I don't want to be rude and please don't answer if it is private but I saw Lisa crying and I want to help if I can. " I braced myself for the news.

"Oh, ummmm" Now Y sensei spent loads of time in the States and he often travels to New York so he probably knew I was going to freak. "Oh, it is just her hair."

"Her hair?"

"Yes. In Japan, your hair has to be black."

Okay... did something happen to her mothers hair or something? I turned to look at Lisa who was sitting down and trying to calm down before heading out. "I am sorry. I do not understand."

"Well, Lisa's hair isn't really black. It is now dark brown... She spent time in the sun and it highlighted her hair..."

I waited for the line that said "so it caught on fire and she has to wear a wig" but it never came. "So?"

"Well, she has to dye her hair and cut it."

"WHAT?!"

"Yes, I know this is strange for you..."

"Okay, but why was she crying..."

He explained, the poor man, but I could not understand. They had her crying in front of all the teachers and her class mates some of which were still staring at her because her hair was OFF brown.

I was mad. "That is ridiculous. This girl is doing badly in school, she is abandoned by her parents, she hasn't had a decent meal in months and you are telling me all this is about her hair! I am sorry but ..." I guess I shouldn't have said anything a part of me was saying "When-In-Rome" but the big part of me was just saying on a higher, moral level that goes beyond culture and tradition there is a fundamental right and wrong. And when this young woman is faced with so many personal and educational hurdles that requires the support and discipline of her teachers but is handed a severe punishment for hair colour... "This is wrong, Y sensei. This is just wrong."

I went to Lisa a few days later... I wanted to tell her what I thought but THAT for sure was not my place. I told her I was sorry she was even in the situation and that she can always talk to me. But even writing this I want to put my fist in the wall... this girl has so much potential to blossom into a beautiful AND intelligent woman. Right now, she misbehaves in class sometimes (like not hand in her work) for the attention she gets from the teachers... she is lonely. "I am sometimes lonely Vanessa sensei."

I end it here. I am happy I wrote this but my hands are trembling in anger right now. More coffee and I am going to outline my my Nitobe section for my thesis. I need to learn how to put work away and live my life. But when you hear words like that... it just stays branded in your heart.

bfg on Blue

2010-10-28T08:50:00.000-07:00

There is a lot to say. Cat Shit. Montreal Guests. Diseases and iodine. Mid-terms. New bathtub. The list goes on.

I thought I would start with Blue.

Blue made me crack. I mean I teared before. Cried even but I haven't balled my brains out at work yet. "Blue" (her name is Aoi which in Japanese means ... exactly) is not your typical Japanese girl except for the fact that she is chronically shy. She is one of my third year high school students in my Basic English class which means when she graduates she will probably get a job. She has a rounder face and body with short boy-cut style hair and manga round eyes. This is not to say she is fat or ugly - just different from the norm. She does have a little moustache which I notice because so few Asians have hair but still - this is Vanessa hyper-sensitive; 99% of humans would not see it.

For the past two months though, Blue has been opening up. It started with her name,

"Aoi, did you know your name is Blue."
"Uhhhhh... yes."

Yes, I am baka, baka.

But then next class I approached her and two other girls in class who never, EVER talk even if I call their name, "Okay, lets make an exchange (and I make grand gestures of changing of hands). Vanessa (they always seem to understand better when I speak of myself in the third person) will NOT ask ... you... to... TALK (hands move to show mouth moving) ... if ... you ... do... extra... hanko homework... Homework, Shukudai - onaji."

Their faces smiled. "Okay!" So I handed them some Disney stories and about every two weeks these girls have been reading and answering questions and true to my word I never call on them.

Until they started raising their hand.

OMG guys, the joy in my heart when Blue raised her hand for the first time. I had to stop myself from giving her 500 hanko on the spot. I gave her 10 instead.

Mid-terms were last week. A real low point since 95% of my first year students failed. Don't worry - they got the Vanessa-Works i.e. "EVERYBODY in first year MUST correct their exams and hand it in next class. Whoever does not, -5 hanko per day, per student. And that student will spend one week with me after school (I checked with other teachers before giving this threat) doing VERB CHARTS and still needing to hand in their corrected test. DO - YOU - UNDERSTAND!?".

Blue was one of the 30% of my 3rd years who failed. I was so sad because the other girls in the Shy Group did super, duper well.

Today, I handed her back the test before the class bell rang. "Next time, Tsugi tesuto, you come to Vanessa. You ask many questions... Okay?"

She looked at her test. She was sad. "Yes. Wakarimasu."

Then I handed her an envelope. "This is for you." I held it up for her to read.

It took her a good 20 seconds but finally her face genuinely lit up, "Thank you!"

The bell rang and I continued teaching military, Book Mistress style.

After school, I am doing photocopies with certainty that any minute I would die from chocking on the flem in my throat (gross!). I am punching holes wishing the rain would stop.

"Vanessa sensei." I look up to see Blue.

"Aoi! Do you have a question?"

There was a long, long pause. I am learning patience Antonio! For REAL.

"Thank you. Your present made me very happy."

"It was just a candy! Are you having a birthday party?"

"My family will bring me to sushi... Your present is my only present."

Guys man. It took EVERYTHING not to cry there. We talked about the test and three teachers came to see who was talking. One of the male teachers was calling people over, "Aoi is talking." It made it that much harder.

She finally went off to her homeroom teacher and I went to the washroom. How to explain... I was happy that my simple, stupid Birthday letter and candy made her that happy. I felt guilty because when I was writing this weeks batch of letters, I was so annoyed and frustrated at being sick and I didn't put that much effort into them. I was relieved that there was someone who gave a shit about the work I did. And I felt pity because if a Letter written on cutsy 100 YEN Stationary from your ALT is your only present... I don't know.

I just wanted to go home. Just for a little bit. Curl up. Watch Firefly with the bf, petting Sasha and pretending the cats don't exist. Be sick and not have to worry about birthday cards or sending money or if I am driving on the right side of the road (as in correct, not RIGHT right).

So that is Blue. She probably will never know any of this but yeah... she makes me feel like I am not a complete failure.

Todays JTE meeting with 3rd Year Teachers.

"Vanessa, please don't sit on the desks. It is rude."

"Oh sorry."

"You can sit in a chair."

"While I am teaching? I don't think so... No, I am sorry. I didn't think it mattered." After all, the SHIT on the tables in my LL Room is all from the 1970s. The class room is big with EVERYTHING bolted in place. I can't move a chair to sit in when I am sick and sweating and dying. So I sit on the table... didn't even OCCUR to me this would be a problem but okay. I get it. When in Rome...

"Well, the students are not allowed so you should not do it."

Okay, now I am pissed off. What the fuck. "Well, the students are not allowed to wear anything but their uniform but you don't see me in a white shirt and red tie!"

Silence. Me coughing and dying to blow my nose.

"Yes, well cultural difference. But it is rude."

"Oh, I am not arguing that point. I am sorry I didn't think of it and probably should have. But don't tell me it is because the students can't that I can't." I hate it when they treat me either like a student, teacher or OTHER when it is convenient for them.

Subject changed.

I have been sick for about a week now (since my birthday), and it has sucked. Having ladytime at the same time does not help (it seems I am always writing a blogpost when I am menstruating?! - anyways). The air here is WET and every time I feel like I am getting better, I feel the wet seep into my clothes and the chills come and ... yup. Sick, sick, sick. The kids have been nice and one of the teacher's MADE me take my temperature. So nice, everyone.

I wanted to choke them all to death. Fuck you Nice People.

So, NOT in the best mood moi that is. Still worked a little on the thesis but I am far from finished my readings. Bushido 16 mangas to finish and the Diet speeches for primary sources - oh and some Japanese movies though I am saving those. I also bought more translated manga for me to read of the two series I really enjoyed so far and WANT to write about: Bamboo Blade and Shinobi Life. The last is a Love Manga about some Ninja dude who travels to the future and loves this chick. Girl Manga. I LOVE IT. Addicted. Super want to elope with Ninja boy and have babies dressed in black. Also, very relevant to the thesis. Win win.

My friend from Montreal came for two night and one day but I was working and, worst, was sick. I hate it when I am talking with someone and it feels more like a show of watch Vanessa Spit Up Into A Napkin or Other Types of Paper That Come In Handy. The bf sent over some treats, stickers and books for the kids and a winter post card. At least in MTL, it is so cold you don't FEEL yourself freezing. You just don't feel. In Japan, it's torture. And this is fall. sigh.

I posted many the picture on Facebook - my birthday part, my visit to the ex-Tokugawa Grave Shrine which is now a National Treasure in Japan and got me on the local news, dinner with the Unno Family, resto eating with Eri and her kids and the new tub... well the hole in my washroom before the new tub.

I think I will end this long post with my birthday party. I was honestly starting to feel homesick a little then... Last year, I saw my nephew (his name day is close to my bday) and we ate and we did our "thang". Last year, I was dining with my coz, and Tiziana, my sister, Robert and Sarah and the bf to name a few. This year... it felt odd to do anything with people i had met for just two months.

The party just sorta happened. My friend was having a party for his gf whose birthday is the same as mine so we were celebrating both. but then they broke up but he still wanted to have the party but I was the main attraction... then we moved it to my house... and then I have a big mouth and bing badabom! PARTY TIME. It was great though and I NEED to say that I realized how amazing it has been here so far if for no other reason then being able to meet all these generous and insightful people. Most were uni students, others ECC students helping me with my thesis... Honestly - so kind and giving, they really made my birthday something special. It wasn't the best birthday - I wasn't able to talk to anyone at home and besides facebook, my brother was the only person who emailed me something thoughtful and sweet. But it sure as HELL wasn't the worst. And as much as my JTEs can annoy the fuck out of me, if there is one thing I still haven't been able to get over is how the Japanese people (the ones in Shizuoka anyways) are, to date, for lack of a better word - awesome.

Okay - enough from the big mouth.
bfg off to gargle iodine so she can survive another day of teaching in a Halloween costume.

PS: OMG THE CAT SHIT! I almost forgot. okay, okay. I come home. Sick. About to open my door. Something is not right. Look down. A HUGE pile of shit in front of my door (remember I can't smell). Fuck. I open my door a crack and need to pee something fierce. Fall into the toilet since male guest left seat up (what is UP with that Guys!?). Finally, I pee without injury run downstairs to landlord. Now imagine you have to say in JAPANESE "Sorry, but there is a pile of shit in from of my door I need you to clean up."?

Honestly, I was so proud of myself when I DID get it. So proud. Still some residue.

Okay, so they clean up the shit and tell me how its the stray cats. I couldn't believe a cat could poo so much. (Antonio is was like a poo from all three of your cats x2). Now, I am going crazy listening at every sound to see if it is a cat. A cat... taking a shit... at my door.

This is like The Hill people. It will NEVER get old.

bfg on being an Oreo Queen

2010-09-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

I write this having finished my bag of mini-oreos. 340 calories of pure yumminess. I shouldn't be doing this but I had to celebrate.

This week of teaching has been crazy. Crazy AMAZING.

So like I said, after one week of disaster with me disciplining more than teaching I had told my students that the Homeroom with the highest hanko every student gets a prize.

Holy Fuck. The difference these two weeks.

I mean its not only that I hardly have to discipline. The kids are laughing. Today my eyeballs almost popped out of my head. I had almost HALF THE CLASS with the hands raised, yelling out "Hai!! Hai! Vanessa sensei!! Hai Hai!!" And at one point when I called on one girl, the rest of the hand raisers were like "NO! NO! NO! I, I, I!"

Just to relish a bit an example: today for my shopping lesson I told the JTE's instead of doing the Warm-up activity they wanted me to do (some lame listening excercise from the textbook) I wanted to get them to talk.

So in class, after showing them the chart of how many hankos each Homeroom has and that if they participate I will give them many a hanko my first questions was, "Can you name some malls in Shizuoka?" I gave an example, "Parco!"

Whereas two weeks ago, I had a room of silence and the echo of the sweat drops from my back hitting the floor (gross), here I was ignoring the screams and insisting on raised hands, "I don't hear voices that come from people who don't Raise. Their. Hands." Yeah, I am kinda military.

I couldn't believe it. I still can't. I mean... a month ago these kids were hiding their heads in a towel. One of my kids, after ten minutes he asks to go to the nurse's office. He didn't just stay today, he was one of the ones vying to be called upon.

It is exilerating. I wasn't teaching them. We were actually conversing. We talked about what we like to buy. I told them about how I like buying books and they were super into my English Edition of ONE PIECE that I got from Toda Books here. Some students would just yell things out like, "This shiumastu I go shopping too!" or "Vanessa sensei, which Starbucks you go?!" Happiness.

I am planning a mega-lesson two weeks from now. Basically the kids are given a Treasure Map (AKA Map of the School) and they have to follow the directions, vocabulary which I have done with them this class, to find it!

I organized it bit more so that groups go out for five minutes at a time while the others do a cross word puzzle. Anyways, I am pretty excited. It is a step towards what I want my lessons to really be like: PRACTICAL APPLICATION.

I will say that my letter writing has paid off as well. I have been getting love letters but even more then that I think the students see me as a human being. They all complain that "Vanessa sensei is too difficult!" but I think they are actually learning. A little.

I really need some off time though and I can't forsee any coming my way. I have been making progress, thanks to tutor appointments where I sit down with someone native and go through my Japanese primary sources. But my own reading - blah. All I want to do is watch tv or do work for lessons... while watching tv. Honestly, I feel super guilty just writing about this now. Which is probably why I am doing it? Writing always gets my ass moving somehow.

Some random stuff...

I am having a lot of trouble opening doors. Yeah, I know - I really need to die my hair blonde or something. Twice now I opened the door on my head. Once I had my helmut on (I forget it on sometimes) so it saved me but yeah my head... hurts sometimes. And then opening a door - opposite to Canada.

Moving On.

I have a Hello Kitty kitchen thing that you use to flip things that are in a pan. I bought it in the most amazing 100 Yen Shop on the face of this earth (that I know of yet). I will probably never use it but I had guests come over and we had to eat the pancakes they made with chopsticks.

The end for now. I need Winchester Boys.

bfg out :)

bfg on letters

2010-09-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

I love writing letters.

Its the sound of the pen on paper that does it for me. I want to make sure I hear the scratch as the words flow out of me onto the page I secretly drown in the sound of the crunch the pen makes as it stresses the paper.

I am not sure why. Or rather, what it is about that sound that I adore. Maybe it is because for a moment I can imagine myself in an Emma-style dress and my name is Jane and I can write an amazing novel about a girl named Elizabeth and an amazing asshole of a boy named Darcy.

My two best friends since High School both live far away; twins, they found love outside of Montreal. One is in Yukon, the other in Austria... and it has been hard with all these years apart being able to keep that connection we had as girls; that understanding of really getting each other. So I started writing them letters and refusing to write any e-mails. The thing in the end was I loved imagining them reaching into their mailbox, pulling out my letter, being surprised, being happy!, and touching something that I did. Rose would sometimes write me a note saying, "I read your letter over breakfast and a bowl of oatmeal." That image of her made me feel like I was there with her, just like when I would board at Scanlon Palace, eating cereal and listening to Ben Harper.

And there is an intimacy to letter writing. Just something shared and special... its hard to loose an email you can easily retrieve. Letters require shoeboxes and closet space.

So today I was writing a long letter to my friend C. She had taken the time to actually write me about her teaching stage and her assignment via email. I was writing away fast as my two fingers can go on my iPhone and I was just frustrated that I couldn't be at my desk... with my MUJI pen. I wanted to write this to her and at the same time I wanted to write this to everyone.

She asked, "How are your troublesome students? Has talking with homeroom teachers helped? "

Oh, C (and world) I never spoke with the homeroom teachers. Most of them won't even talk to me. I understand! They are so busy! I went in this Saturday to pick up a computer wire I forgot and teachers were there, making photocopies, prepping lessons. I was so surprised. I knew they worked weekends but SEEING it in the flesh is a whole other animal.

The past week has been hectic. No. It has been chaos.

Speech contest students everyday added about 2 hrs of unpaid overtime to my weekly schedule. Four nights out of five I met with people who helped me with my Japanese sources for my thesis - which is welcome. The closer I get to the finish line the faster I get to party my ass off in this country. Lesson planning... honestly, I really suck at it. I over plan. Case in point last Friday. I decided I would give my kids a "fun" lesson. I taught them 12 vocabulary words - like "deck" and "shuffle". Then, I divided them into groups and admittedly I did it based on their English ability. So each team got an envelope with a deck of cards and directions on how to play a game; Crazy 8s, Pig!, and War. The point was to make it fair and cater to the students level... the kids with difficulty get an easier game the kids with a higher ability are able to be challenged... I mixed the levels between the four players in the group but kept it fair so that it was challenging but not overwhelming.

Or so I thought!

Photocopies made. I stickered the envelopes... I like pretty things! I get a tap on my shoulder. "Vanessa sensei, can I look at the lesson one more time?"

"Sure." I hand the envelopes over to her again. Last Tuesday I had the lesson okayed, last Wednesday I had shown both my JTEs the sheets for approval. So everything was fine...

"This is too hard."

"Huh!?"

"Too hard. So sorry. The students can't do this."

"But my lesson is in two hours. It took me all weekend to prepare this stuff." Not to mention me needing to pay 1,000 YEN from my pocket for the deck of cards.

"We understand. This is why we will translate everything."

And off they both go. Translating. They asked me questions, not understanding some parts. I was so frustrated. With myself for again making a lesson that was too hard, at the JTEs because I had done this EARLY to avoid this, and the well... the JTEs. Fuck! Why couldn't they do this to me two days earlier?

They handed me the translated papers. "You can give this to them."

Shit, I must sound like a crybaby but (again) I was so close to tears. I looked at them. "I am going to cry."

"No, don't cry. We are sorry you worked hard."

"No. It is not that" Well, it was a little. "Now, this isn't a class about English. This is a class on learning a card game and that is not what I am supposed to be teaching here." And, probably because I was so fed up I did something I normally would not have the guts to do, "No, I won't do this. Sorry. They will have to play the game in English." Pause. "We can take keywords and translate but I refuse to give them something completely translated. Not in my class."

I think they may have been scared of me. They actually listened to me. They probably think I am a major bitch but I don't care. Tough luck - my students come first.

The class was a success but even though I only taught for one hour I was FINISHED at the end of the day.

And all this weekend, I have been having fun with my awesome True Blood party and having the Hamamatsu JETs over but right now I am worried about Fridays lesson. What can I do that won't be too hard, won't be boring but still be in English?!

And how the fuck am I supposed to make a lesson based on Team Teaching? Because, ballsy as I may be there is no way I am making a lesson which tells someone else (read JTE here) what to do. That is not me. I hate explaining to them anyways, I get really bitchy. They overuse please all the time. Example.

Moi: "So to start off, as usual I like to tell them their hanko scores."

One JTE:"Oh. Can you please tell them the hanko scores at the beginning of the class?"

Okay... " Yes, exactly."

"And you counted the Hanko?"

No, I invented the number. "Yes."

"I am sorry for this. Please count the hanko."

"I already counted."

"Oh, thank you. And will you put this on your computer?" This translates into PowerPoint.

"Yes. It is exactly the same as in all my classes."

"Please do Power Point for this every class."

"Yes. I just said..." I am about to EXPLODE.

"I am sorry for this. Thank you."

That paired with bad breath and the bodily noises going on around me... I think I am going to get out of the teacher's room all too soon. I want to socialize but no one has invited me to anything so screw that - I can make my own party in the teacher's room. Serve some virgin Pina Coladas as I show the students my tattoos and scratch my belly but NOT fart, burb or slurp my noodles.

Did somebody say heaven?

No but in all honesty - I have made progress. And fallen in love.

My OCII class seems to really enjoy their journals. They love them! I bought the journals at MUJI a popular store here, and told them, "This is yours." The look on their faces was worth the 900 yen I paid for them. They coloured it, put pictures and all sorts of things. It was amazing! And my two weakest students in class wrote me amazing entries. I was really happy because I feel like in this class I am accurately assessing them: they have reading exercises every class (ten minutes first thing), a written exam every class (90 seconds at the end of class), speaking and participation grades (during class) and journal writing which is at home and they have 5 days to do one entry (about 10 lines). In this class, I am able, since there are only 8 students, to change my mind, revamp things, and change up my timing to cover what I need to do. If one person doesn't understand I catch them and try as a group to explain it. Its really great and I think though the kids think I am tough as nails and make them work way too much, I actually want them to learn and not just babysit. Its tough love but love none the less.

But my first graders... god, that is survival. On average, 35 students in the class. You have no idea... its a zoo. Its hell. I want to die. Any activity that involves them getting up is horrible. They understand little and well, remember the towel student? Or the boy in my class who looks me straight in the face and says "No. I won't do anything." He won't write a test. Won't make a hanko card. Nothing. I even sat down next to him and say in my best non-fake fake voice, "You can do it!"! But nothing.

Discouraged, I wrote a letter to every single student. All 346 (I still have 34 left to write for Tuesdays class). It took me many the late night to get this done but yeah... I survived. I don't know... with some of them, the fact that I took the time to write the letter... omg! The look on their face, it was like I gave them an awesome gift. Others threw it on the floor. I just picked them up and taped it to their test. I felt bad throwing it away since I did work on it but I knew this wouldn't work on everyone.

I just don't get the people who say ALTing is easy. Its hard, man. I have to take time from my personal life right now to stay afloat. But if I don't invest this time now to make a firm impression (of a teacher that wants them to learn and believes they can do it even though society has given up on them) I won't be able to do it later.

Its the letters from C and others who take the time that are saving me. Her letter, though there was no ink and no paper, really reminded me that there are teachers out there who are just Awesome and can make it easy (or seemingly so). And that there are friends who understand my very fast though nicely accented English. I just need to get through this rocky stage I guess to get the flow.

But, its true, I really am a hardass.

Okay more concrete updates tomorrow. Not to mention, I still need to write my True Blood post.

bfg is off to bed but leaving SKYPE on. Hoping I can open gifts with Antonio (its his birthday) :)

bfg on simply the best

2010-09-12T04:37:00.000-07:00

Before I say anything else, I do an awesome Tina Turner "Simply The Best" a la karaoke.

My Lady Gaga is a close second though.

Simply the Best Worst Teaching Moment this Week

Friday.

HR 11

Lesson 2 is on Canada!

I will be posting this in detail actually but in short I showed them the commercial "I am Canadian!" and went over the lyrics with them.

Talk done - now it is time for an activity! Okay.

Girl in third row has had her face covered by a towel the entire time. I really don't mind the people who sleep in my class since I would rather be doing the exact same thing but covering your face with a towel? Come on!

Smile on, I am determined to get that girl to do at least five minutes of work in my class. Tapping her shoulder lightly I sit down next to her and take the work sheet. "Lets do this together."

"EEEEhhhhhEEEHHEHEHHE!?!?"

Okay so let us pause for a moment here. When I am in a cafe, people stare probably because of a combination that I am loud, English and oh-so-white. No problem - usually I wave at the starers and many have fast become my friend. I love Japan!

Most people in cafes are rather quiet. But every now and again the sound, whether it be from an old woman or young gal, comes out loud and clear, "EEEEhhhhEEEHhhEHEHHE!?!?!" A sound which means nothing precisely but is understood as something along the lines of "Your-fucking-with-me-no-way-I-can't-believe-it-this-is-amazing-I-need-a-sandwich!"

So when my student said this, I didn't want to slap her or punch her but bury my shoe in my face. "Yes, EEEEhhhhhEEEHHEHEHHE!??! You can do this. Just try. Come on! We can do it together." Patience is a virtue... remember Vanessa!?

Nothing. No response. She covers her face with the towel again.

"Knock, knock." I laugh. She puts the towel down and looks at me with squinting eyes and a frown.

"Come on! 'An igloo is a _______ made out of ice?' Is it a car? Or a house!?" My voice clearly indicated which was the right answer.

Again, the sound. "EEEEhhhhEEEHHEHEHEHHE??!!"

Sweet Jesus! "Okay. How about starting with something about you~! Do you like manga!?"

AGAIN! "EEEEhhhEEHHEHEHEHHE!??!"

I was going to kill her. I smiled instead and showed off my teeth. Both rows in fact. I caved, "Manga ga sukidesu ka?" I never, ever say it in Japanese. But this time, I needed to take one step back for one step forward.

Or so I thought.

Her frown deepens. "Manga!? Manga wa nan desu ka?"

I looked at her. Said I was sorry for my Japanese. I repeated myself. Slowly, making sure I pronounced well...

"nani~!?" she says.

Imagine an English person saying they don't know the word ... oh I don't know- ENGLISH! Well, this girl was asking me what manga was. I knew she was pressing my buttons. Fuck, I was ready to press some of hers. I stood up and took her dictionary.

"Here." I wrote manga in both hiragana and in roman letters. "Look it up."

Her neighbours were shocked repeating to her "Manga! Ma-n-ga." They were surprised as I was. I just walked away. I had others to tend to in my class of 35.

**

Simply the Best of the Best Teaching Moments

Friday.

HR 11

Lesson 2 is on Canada!

I will be posting this actually but I showed them the commercial "I am Canadian!" and went over the lyrics with them.

To the left of me is this boy, very tall and slim. He has a wide face and is rather tanned. Right now he is probably not so popular but being older and wiser (and just a Guru when it comes to men and looks ;) it is obvious that once he fills out he will be a looker in a suit.

The entire time I spoke, every time I introduced a new word, he said it quietly to himself practicing pronunciation. During the lesson, he got right to work, ignoring his rowdy partner. He even looked things up in the dictionary. I was amazed and I felt so guilty. The entire time I tried to make my way to him but there was someone talking here or a face towelled Manga-Unknower over there.

At the end of class I asked him to wait a moment. He was so concerned.

"I wanted to tell you," I spoke very, very slowly, "That you are a wonderful student! And that if you continue putting in this kind of effort and good work, you could be fluent."

He was shocked. HIs eyes went wide (for a Japanese person). "Oh... Thank you." It was said very low.

He turned to go. Turns back. "Thank you!"

Walks to the door than turns again. "Thank you very much."

Fuck, man I did tear up because I was so happy. Here is someone who just needed a little encouragement to feel good about himself. Sucks that it had to be from me, but there you have it folks. I know I made his day. He sure as fuck made my weekend!

I gave him a bonus hanko and above it I wrote, "Hard-working spirit!"

bfg goes to watch True Blood... expect a post on why this is the greatest show ever

bfg on peach boys

2010-09-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

WRITTEN LAST SUNDAY, SEPT 5TH

So the scooter is purchased.

All to soon, you people will be craving for the days when I spoke about the Hill. You will beg me to repeat stories of my adventures. But in about a week you will have a reprieve. Latest by Thursday, I should be the proud owner of a scouter. In exactly one month to the day that I arrived in Shizuoka, I got my Japanese driver's licence and purchased my first set of 2 wheel drive that runs on gas.

The best part of this other than the fact that I should get to school in less than 15 minutes is the fact that I am, well still am, overcoming a terrifying feeling of driving that scooter.

When I look at the Scooter Drivers I am always freaked out by the imagined accidents I put them in. No hood of a car to protect, no steal frame from stopping foreign object entering my body. It seems so vulnerable - like being on a bike times a million.

Learning how to ride Glinda was much the same and the memory of that has propelled me to move forward with this because honestly, the misery of this transport is wearing on my mind fast (and the entertainment value of these blogposts). I could not understand riding on the left, actually not running through lights and the worries of parking ones bike. But I learned, quickly! and even adapted. It is so weird to think of me scared of riding Glinda - now I ride her in between lanes even! I am hoping Future Me will reread this post and laugh while covering my mouth from the horrible snorting sounds it makes. Hoping...

Someone asked me if it was difficult and I don't know what to say. In retrospect no, but that is only because things fell into place with me. My JTE Na, my friend of a friend Akiko and Takako my friend - without them being at my side to translate during such "serious" discussions I would never have gotten this far so quickly.

Last week, I went for my license. Na brought me to the Shizuoka Station who sent us to Suruga City Hall who then sent us to Suruga Police Station. That experience was difficult - totally like that (horrible) movie Lost in translation. The entire police station was trying to figure out what to do with the Canadian who had to have a license because of the Hill.

THIS IS FUTURE ME WRITING

I never finished that post since this week has been hell. I love teaching but I have to say it is so hard. I know now why it is so difficult to teach a language ... to kids that don't want to learn. Especially my kids! Most of them are not going on to university. Most of them have no interest in travel. They are going to work in a Japanese company and really don't NEED English.

Everyday I have stayed at work past 5 (about 1hr longer than I am paid for) preping and helping students in the speech contest. Thursday the school had a feild trip which I was invited to go to but found out Friday that it was a vacation day. How fucking SHITTY of these people to tell me after? My super awesome supervisor was on my side as I said it wasn't the fact that I took a holiday but the fact that I was told after the fact.

Anyways, I did get the scooter on Wednesday night. Went by myself but the man was, of course, super kind and we managed. He was so kind too, "This is your first time?"

"Yes!"

"Please be careful." The last he did say in English.

I was nervous. My first time on the street... but in 5 minutes I was home and happy.

I ended up meeting a friend of mine after and as tempted as I was to take the scooter I went with Glinda. Don't want her getting jealous plus I promised I would really only use the scooter for work.

A great thesis session where Tahei and I discussed this business article in BOSS magazine which discusses how Japanese companies and people in general need to readopt bushido.

Fine.

Go home. Thinking about tomorrow... cars on the road.... students. I was convinced that practicing this evening would be a good thing.

Off I went on Momotaro, my peach boy!, and it was awesome. I went about 20-25km an hour and though it was dark I was more than fine. Everything was fine. I was getting comfortable.

The Bitch was just up ahead. I was mentally ready to take her over.

Sharp turn at the Mini Shop - in fact the Hill is so narrow the road looks like an alley way.

Turning going up turning tipping falling falling

and this was my fuck up: my instinct was that I was on Glinda not Momo.

I put one foot down. to balance myself. On a bike thats fine - a scooter not so.

I braked which is smart but without LIFTING my hand so I didn't cut the engine.

So I fell. And so did Momo - on me. Unfortunatly, since the motor was still going the bike went forward and and was scratched.

"Baijyobudesuka!" a dark figure up the hill shouted.

Blood on my knee and ankle. My shoulder and leg were throbbing but it was fine. I can handle my own blood considering I have injured myself so many times falling am used to it by now.

I got back on the bike. "Hai."

I only climbed 1/3 of The Hil-itch (my new name for her) that night, but I did it.

I drove back home went into my apartment and tended to my wounds.

For the rest of the week, I rode Momo to school and back. All is well and I am getting used to the feel of her. I learned on my friends scooter which is much heavier, like a horse, than Momo. Momo needs light guidance so I am still getting used to handling him as well as finding the centre of balance on the scooter.

I will say that it did add this level of stress the whole week. And tonight it is Saturday but I am home tending to a swollen ankle and finishing a long overdue blogpost.

My Friday lesson was again horrible. So tomorrow I will be researching class games and stuff online some more and try to find something that could work with these kids.

Future Me isn't laughing right now. Nor am I a bundle of despair - I love Momo! just hate myself :)

Future Me just needs (another) nap.

bfg off to watch sexy samurai tv shows, play scrabble on my iPhone and scratch my arm pits while I sit under the AC. It may be September but its bloody hot!

bfg on being baffeled

2010-09-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

View of the class from my position

So The Shys hit me today.

Many people, most of them "friends", think I am outgoing because I am loud and move my hands a lot.

This, my friends, is a misconception one that baffles me that people assume loud + extreme gesturing bordering on an epileptic attack + eyes wide in expression = an outgoing person.

Don't get me wrong - I have done some pretty "outgoing" things but most of that has been by the standards of the people who see me, your average Joe Canadian. But I hate introducing myself to people. Ask me to meet someone off the street and start talking no problem. Formally introduce me and the blushes and tongue twisting begins.

Now, that didn't quite happen with my first lesson. I spoke clearly and loudly. Hell, I would even say the kids thought I was confident but inside ball-of-nerves (please read with extreme dramatic pauses). It was a relief to just cry it out after class - a good cry not the bad kind.

Its not that it was horrible. Thirty-three kids though standing up and doing nothing after you just explained an activity - kindof a horrible feeling. Some of the kids really wanted to try but I was being called left and right and trying to manage the 4 rowdy kids who tried to sneak out of class. That was unacceptable and after the JTE failed to control them I grabbed those boys by their shirts brought them to the board and made them do the lesson. It turns out that two of them were way better than I gave them credit for which is a nice but I couldn't help but feel guilty that the ones willing to put in the effort were not getting the feedback and "teacher love" they deserved.

View From Students point

It turns out the language Lab (LL Room) is the hottest in the whole school. Can you believe it?

I can. In fact, as I was helping a student the teacher tapped my shoulder and said, "Vanessa, you are sweating too much." Thanks. Thanks a lot. Point out my disgustingness - like I don't feel it already. In all honestly, she was probably just trying to be nice, saying out of concern but boy I just wanted the floor to swallow me right there or a wild pig to come get me.

The good news is that I reformatted my lesson so that the kids move around LESS so next week when I do my self-intro a gazillion + one times I can move around the class and "dictate the space" rather than letting the younglings go wild. I think that is the issue with any and all of the advice I have taken which was to always keep the kids moving. Or maybe I just take things a bit too literally like when people say "Gullible isn't in the dictionary". Thirty-three kids can't be moving around. Sorry - I can't do it and did a piss poor job of it today.

Not a complete failure. At lunch, I went down to the Bread Lady who stinks like shit but makes a mother-fucking good sandwich, I was walking the halls and, admittedly, playing Scrabble on Elphaba, my iphone, when someone grabbed my arm.

"Please. I want to talk to you."

Her name is Li- and she rocks. Firstly, drop dead beautiful. Like perfect Japanese girl she took my breath away. But when I realized what she said I put the smile on and said, "Yeah! Hey! Lets talk now." I was dying of hunger and technically this was my lunch time. But this was something categorized as precious moment and I couldn't give in to human needs.

It turns out her parents sent her to an International School in Santa Barbara, California for the summer to improve her English and though she makes errors she is pretty god-dam good! It makes me wonder if it would not be better to take the JET Program money and invest it in sending students abroad. Happily, once I am done but yeah...

We chatted for about thirty minutes and she asked if she could come during lunch time sometimes. I almost died with happiness. "Of course. If I am here, I would love to have lunch."

And in general I am just meeting more students which I adore. The face-to-face time is worth the misery of a bad first lesson. Anyways, I have to do it 15 more times so... time to refine!

****

PS: SophieW as promised a picture of the pipe I thought was a wild pig.

Rusty Pipe. I named him Wilbur.
But Honestly, Doesn't it look like a wild pig?!

bfg on being fugly

2010-09-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

Best Part of the Day:

Me walking to Computer room. Group of Girls walks up.

I make eye contact with girl in Front of Group.

I say, "Hello!"

She screams at the top of her lungs and runs away. I felt fugly but laughed anyways. Precious moment.

Twenty minutes early today. I kick your ass Hill!

Morning meeting, blahblah. I actually had time to down my jelly today in relative piece. I spent my morning prepping for Fridays lesson where I would have a whole class to myself. Today was so hot - at 5pm it is hotter now than at noon today! But yeah it was a good day.

I was cutting away at the vocabulary posters that make up my existance when my favorite teacher whose name I don't know but I describe as the Older-Teacher-that-is-Retired-But-Still-Teaches-Computer-Class tapped my shoulder.

"You busy?"

I was surrounded by about 300 pieces of paper that I was cutting and folding. "No."

"Good. Follow me please."

Out the door we go, and I chatter away about my morning. He listens. I like him.

Then we pass the computer room... and the hall... and the lockers...

"Where are we going?"

"My class."

"Which class?"

"My computer class. I want them to know you."

Okay. Right.

Walk into class. Behind me students snicker, "Nice to meet you." I would quickly turn around and say, "It is nice to meet you too." They would either smile at me and wave or put their head down as if I caught them doing something bad.

Into the class I go with the students ready to take a seat but the teacher gestured me to the front of the class.

And so goes my first class.

In a way, I didn't have time to want to vomit or attempt drastic acts of maddess. I just took the white board marker, wrote my name even though it was running out of ink. And starting talking very slowly.

One of the kids went to sleep. I thought that would bother me but instead I was like, "God, I am with you babe!"

They asked me some really good questions though.

"I heard non-Japanese people don't change their shoes."

I told them the story of how at Uniqlo I was practically chased down by the clerks when I went into the changing room with my shoes.

"What is the school system in Canada?"

Well, someone told you to ask me that. But they were pretty unhappy that they had a whole extra year of school than we do.

"How do you enjoy onsen? Do you only take showers?"

Played it cool on this one and said I am too shy to go to an onsen.

"But you know you must be naked?"

"Yes. That is why I am shy."

"You know no bathing suits."

"I know. This is why I don't go. I am too shy."

They must think I am one dirty fuck since I don't bath but there is some truth to that given the sweat on my face at the time was dripping onto a students desk whereas they were lightly patting their faces.

"No bikini too."

I don't wear bikinis. "I know."

In the end though, it was fun. I spoke with some girls and realized that yeah there are shy students and I don't give a fuck students but we politely put up with each other and do our thing. There are those that want to wave, and chat and joke with me and, most importantly, practice English.

I visited my 3rd year class; very genki and not shy which is nice. But they insist on only speaking in Japanese and the teacher translates everything I say. I try to act it out but ... yeah. I was warned about this and will just do my best in the situation. May be different when its a class on "my" time.

One boy in the class frowned at me the whole time... it was very distracting. I was wondering what he was thinking... like "What will I have for dinner?" or "How can I kill this ALT who is making my life so god dam miserable?" Very distracting...

Tomorrow is my first class where I do my self-intro. I have spent many an hour preparing this and I think the teachers are even starting to feel guilty. "Please don't be disappointed when the students show no reaction." I find the best way to to handle the no-facial-expression Student is to smile and move on. I don't let them get away with doing nothing, I just pretend their sour attitude doesn't exist. Hard to miss a frown though.

I will take pictures and maybe even record myself and post here. That is fine - pics of my school and kids are not.

I worked on the thesis. Have been doing a little every night but to be honest am so discouraged. I feel like I am going no where and am just too stupid for words. I leave it at that.

Also, William Gibson is coming to Montreal. I want to die - I can't believe I am missing the opportunity to meet the man who wrote Neuromancer. Sigh. It takes an author for me to consider flying back home. How very moi.

bfg on wild pigs

2010-09-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

So it is the day after horrible day.

I tried to come to school 20 minutes early but I swerved off the road at one point and had to fix my tire so I only made it with 5 minutes to spare. No big deal right? The first day of school was the next day (today)... the only thing I had to worry about was my intro speech to the teachers but that was at 10am. Two hours to cool off and unredden and unsmellify.

I walk in to the teacher's room panting, red, gross... you have heard this before I am sure. They laugh.

I laugh at myself. "Sumimasen! I must be so annoying."

Mi-sensei, "No! You are so sugoi!"

"Yes. That is why the Hill hates me; because I am sugoi." It is fast becoming the catch phrase: The Hill. I now dream of returning to shizuoka in 10 years and hear "Japanese Japanese Japanese The Hill Japanese Japanese."

I take out the hankie and sweat towel. "Okay, well I will go change now." And off I go leaving behind a room with the chatterings of teachers.

I walk back about 15 minutes later, earlier than usual since it seemed like Mi-sensei wanted to talk, to find silence and all heads turned towards me. Huh?

The vice-principal was standing. Ahhhhh. And then I see the principal... what the hell? He is never in here...

Mi sensei runs up to me. "Banessa. Banessa. Now is the time for your speech."

"But you guys said 10am! It is still 8!?"

"Yes. But they changed the scheduale."

I wanted to die. I almost cried I really did. But instead I laughed and said, "Okay but if my Japanese sucks just throw me out the window."

Up I went. And I spoke. And they clapped. I was complimented on my accent which has happened often lately so I wonder if this is code for "that is good and not much else". Like how when someone asks me if I like their shirt and I say, "It's different." Heehee. Save.

I survived is the point and was super happy to be able to sit at my desk and eat my fruit tarte jelly thing that I am basically surviving on since I am scared to eat anything since it probably has mayo.

"Banessa. Teacher's meeting is now."

"Now." It wasn't a question.

Up I went, picked up papers that I can't really read and sat down. The only thing I understood was Mamma Mia and... "Sensei, did he just say pig?"

"Yes."

As I waited, I circled all the kanji I knew. And tried to desypher meanings from that... I felt like Migyver.

Meeting was over soon after. Lots of bowing. Nothing special to mention.

"Yes, banessa pig. You must be careful."

"Huh?"

"Wild pigs are sitted on the Hill to school. You must be careful on your bike you may be attacked."

I almost fainted.

I will end this by saying that I am now determined to find me a wild pig. I want a picture with a wild pig something fierce and Glinda has given me several garantees that she will flee like Blue Thunder when the time came. That day, as I went home I fell again in a ditch as I thought I saw a wild pig but it was a huge rusty pipe. Heehee. I was fine. Somehow for a clutz, I fall gracefully.

That day was pretty successful. I talked with Mi and Na about how I couldn't do the fill in the blanks but thought up some easier stuff and they thanked me for being so concerned about education. Mi even said, "Banessa sensei, your voice sounds so happy when you talk about class. I look forward to team teaching with you." It made me feel bad for what I wrote the day before but at the time, it was true - I felt that way.

I took the afternoon off that day... to go get my driver's license. A friend of one of my students back in Montreal who just happens to live in Shizuoka agreed to drive me to the Centre which is so very inaka. Akiko has two kids, one a three month old baby, so for her to do this was a great kindness to say the least.

It is funny - it was so easy and yet so hard for me to get my license. With one of my JTEs I went to the police station, city hall and back to police station to get all the right things stamped and sealed. An officer finally handed me an envelope saying, "Go to the Centre for 1:30pm and it should take 20 minutes to process your request." After warning me it would cost around 4000 Yen, I was on my way confident that it wouldn't be so hard. He did warn me though, "Please go with a native Japanese speaker."

Thank God I took his warning. After waiting one hour, I was called into a room. "Now, we will have an interview for around one hour."

And they asked me question. After question. Your license they are not the same design. Yes, Quebec changed it. Your validation on one is good for 3 years and on another 4 years. Yes, Quebec changed it. Do you have all your licenses? No. But the years don't correspond. Maybe its because I lost mine... I don't understand why this is an issue though since I meet the minimum 3 months driving in my country. Oh - but the renewal was 2 days before your arrival in Japan.

I wanted to kill Quebec.

After one hour of that type of high strung conversation the man sat back and said, "I think you can drive in Japan. But small scooter. Daijobu?"

"Hai!"

Off I went to pay, off he went to get the card ready.

I return with a reciet. He with a frown.

"Have you ever been in Japan before?"

"No. Never."

"When is your birthday?"

"Oct 22 **"

"Do you have your old passports?"

"No. I am sorry they are in Canada. But what is this about?"

SO - of course this had to happen to me. A person with the exact same name in 2001 on October 22nd was arrested in Japan for a "serious traffic offence". Even Akiko was looking at me like "Are you SURE you have never been in Japan."

Another hour passed and the baby started to cry. I watched out the window at the scooter people practicing. Admiring their helmets and their wheels. Suddenly the door opens and just like that he walks in. "Daijobu." And hands me my card.

Gods of fortune, I can go buy my scooter. I can drive a car, a 50 cc scooter and a small truck in Japan.

I can conquer the hill and maybe even chase wild pigs with a spear!

I originally wrote about what happened today - apartment drama - but am holding off. Some not so nice words in there and I worry sometimes at not allowing some time to pass. All is well though. In the end, I guess it usually is (even when someone has your name and does crazy mad things in the foreign country you happen to be staying in).

bfg on horrible-no-good-very-bad days

2010-08-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yup, today was the day I almost cried.

With most JETs it happens the moment they are first alone in their apartment. With me, it happened where, without realizing it, I was super effected by something but haven't been paying attention to it. And then something small happens and I just want to cry. That was me today.

I woke up late this morning, I guess that was in essence the event that dominoed into what I thought was, though now it seems so pitiful, disasters.

Rushing to school and up the hill, I was only 4 minutes late because I didn't bother to stop at a combini having purchased most of my coffee, morning snack and drink the night before. But I still need to calm down, wipe the sweat off my face and change clothes. That takes longer than you think; every morning it feels like I just did a hard work-out which would rock if I were able to shower and wash my hair after. Instead, ringlets form from the sweat and even after having wiped my lower back and chest a gazzlion times droplets still fall down driving me crazy as they tickle me and remind me that I really must smell.

Not even given the chance to wipe my face this morning before I was jumped on by the super nice and gentle vice-principal whose Japanese is a little to fast for me. Basically he said tomorrow I had to introduce myself to the teacher's so to please prepare a speech. Okay, done. Sure. No problem. He goes on and on but I was like "MAN! Can't you see I am white and stink and sweat?! I know I am late but give a girl a breather." I just shut-up and nodded and smiled. He is after all so nice.

Walking to my desk I saw for the first time in ten days my supervisor Mi and another JTE Na who has helped me a lot in Mi's absense. They both say "Ah Vanessa! Lets go try out the projector."

I ignore them for a second drop my bags, take out a hankie, wipe my face. I put on a smile. "Sure! But do you mind if I change first?"

"Oh ! No gomen, gomen."

I run to the washroom but now that people are actually waiting for me, I can't give my body the thorough wipe down it needs and I am getting a little depressed.

Back with a smile. I desided to take the advice of one of the JET senpais and start my day over.

But all too soon, "Ahhhh! I don't think Japanese technology accepts MAC."

Frustrated. I was going to explode. I hate it when people who don't know the difference between a USB key and SD Card try to talk to me about technology. "I understand that MAC is rare but this is a projector; it doesn't care. The cables are universal. No, its something on my side." But there was no internet in the dinosaur room they call the Language Lab and that has no AC (which should be illegal by the way).

Ninty minutes later and I got the teacher's PC to work but not my MAC. I was too tired to care, "Okay. I will use your PC."

But the problem is that when I returned to my desk not only did I find out that I did not bring the power cord to my laptop but a conversion from Keynote to Power Point is not easy in the least. Much of my slideshow was lost and I couldn't even attempt to fix the problem since the laptop had little juice left (I was watching the 1960s film BUSHIDO in bed last night).

"Na-sensei, can I use your USB key?"

I tried to put the file on it but there was no room. Sigh. World at this point is against me.

Then Mi-sensei calls to me, "Vanessa, here are some papers for you."

It is an application to stay with a home-stay family during the autumn festival for a weekend. I was so happy having felt somewhat disappointed at my like of traditional Japanese life and filled out the sheet and sent it off right away. It is a first-come-first-serve basis with only ten spots and as I flipped through the pages I realized that she had gotten this paper last week - I probably lost my chance because of her vacation. I could not help but be resentful. I don't care if she takes a vacation but stuff like this should have been told to me. That and the fact that my apartment issues have not even been mentioned by her or the school... well this was the point I = bitter.

Determined to fix the projector problem, I took loads of pictures of of the device and my laptop and sent it to the bf who was, when all is said and done, awesome. He really looked into it but it seems that the Apple site mixed things up as the product they were advertising for the MacBook Pro was not for it as there was no such port on my laptop. I did find the right one but it advertised that it is for the MacBook Air... not the same thing. Even Antonio, the Apple Mania Cult Leader, was frustrated by this. He is going this morning to the Mac store to make sure I buy the right one.

And through it all, I could hear people talking about me in Japanese. Sometimes laughing, sometimes "neing" and in my hyper-emotional state, I started tearing up. I wrote to the bf, "I just want to come home." It was the first time I meant it... how for just one moment I didn't want something new or different. I just wanted Sasha to talk to me in her silent and loyal poodle language and Antonio to bring me a coffee in a Star Trek mug and ask me which episode I want to watch this time.

I would even have settled for just leaving and going back to the apartment and working from there but no. This is Japan. You don't do these types of things and to be honest it was unfair. But with no computer I wasn't even able to do some much needed prep for lessons.

I desided to show the teachers, since the two OCI profs were there, my idea for my self-intro. They love my movie, "Please play it at least twice."

"Twice? Why would I do that?"

"You worked hard on it."

"Okay but I was going to talk the second time so the kids have some listening instead of just reading."

"Well, I really like music."

Okay than, twice it is.

I showed them the activities. "No, no. Just fill in the blanks is fine."

"Fill in the blanks!?" I could not help myself. "But, what are they learning by filling in the blanks. Nothing."

But they said how they thought my dialogue excercise was too hard. "Anyways, " Mi-sensei said, "copying is even too hard for most of these kids."

I wanted to cry then. Like fucking breakdown and ball. Is this to be my year? Giving kids fill-in-the-blanks?! How is this educating them...? I actually care and I just feel like I am bring trampled on.

And they all agree to meet me, to include grammar point, are into my idea of Mad Minutes (which I am stealing from my fourth grade teacher who used them for math class) but when it comes down to it, it seems as if they want a babysitter - to survive the 50 minutes and that is it.

I think I could have taken a little more control of the situation... but I didn't I just felt like I was being bitch-slapped and in all reality I may have interpreted their tone and mannerisms much more harshly. These women have both helped me a lot despite being so busy so I feel really bitchy writing this now. But at that moment...

Soon after, Na-sensei said we should go for my driver's license and... first success of the day! Not only was I able to get a rendez-vous tomorrow but I don't need to take an exam! Technically, tomorrow, I can walk into a bike shop, buy a bike and go home. This is where I need to remember all the good things - like how my new, "precious" friend Takako is actually taking time out of her Sunday to teach me how to ride a scooter. When I said I would pay for gas she shook everything that could move, "Nononono."

Actually, she is even helping me with my thesis and when I insisted on paying she wrote to me,

"Any way , I'm happy to help you. It might be my study,too.

I don't wanna get money from you.

You are my precious friend, so I don't want."

I was so touched! I could not believe she wrote that. And in Canada, well - it is just not done. With the exception on my two bffs, Caro and Rose who for some reason share my "money is meant to be spent (responsibly)" philo, in Canada I would have had to pay. In Japan, in less than a week people I don't even know have volunteered their time and knowledge to help me with my work. I even got an email from an aquaintance who has no sentimental connection saying it would be a pleasure for him to help with a business article I need help with. My jaw dropped... this guy was helping me out in ways that others I knew more intimately could not. It was such a surprise! (and I immediately started budgeting gifts I would buy them HAHA!)

Its not just that though. Its the interest. All who know me know I can get... carried away when taken over by a plot line. My thesis is no different. Mention samurai and the conversation will go from how I still kinda really wanna marry one to why Bushido is bull (quoting Karl Friday here!). Call it politeness or their awesome ability to control their facial expressions but not only have people here, Japanese and non, listened they have offered me a myriad of sources from tv to kids books to cultural events that are all related. It really makes me feel like my thesis is alive sometimes. If only I didn't have to worry about paying tuition. I would just write it for the rest of my life!

But I digress...

Upon returning to school, the AC was not working so well. I was informed that since I was not going with a teacher tomorrows Diver's License visit would be vacation time and that my speech contest student would only be able to meet me at 7pm after school since he is in the tennis club and they have practice three times a day, 5 days a week and most Saturdays (!!!!!). What to do... I said I had my own classes for Japanese and asked if he could just leave a little earlier but that was met with silence. I wanted to pull my hair out. And I have a lot of fucking hair!

Cure for a bad day? Start over. So- I came home after this day and went to sleep for two hours, woke up and did just that.

Worked on thesis with Hiroko for an hour or so and we hung out, had some Chinese dinner and talked. I think the great surprise with having people like her help me is how our conversation turns to how fathers are like samurais or the philosophy behind gift-giving... Conversations like that drive me insanely crazy with happiness at how great it is to be alive.

I basically handled my day really badly... probably due to tiredness or ladytime or just being in a country that is so hot I carry a towel around with me, do double takes and wipe in between my boobs all the time and other embarrassing parts I don't want to mention. Certain frustrations which funnelled today in a bad mood but ended with friends. So all is well.

bfg goes for a night bike ride in hopes of seeing more cats with half their faces bitten off.
(and makes a list of things to do when in this situation again like scrub a floor or something and work the stress off).

My Apartment

2010-08-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

It is unfinished. Really, I am only living out of one room right now. October paycheque I think I will treat myself to a double bed, tv and a few more bookshelves. For now, I am very happy! though am looking forward to them fixing the "issues" at my place.

Enjoy!

Yeah That is Right BITCH!

2010-08-24T08:32:00.001-07:00

Episode 2!

Its a slideshow because as open as I am about my sex life, I have no intentions of posting a film of me panting.

Fuck you Hill.

Episode 1: The Hill ~~ Going Down

2010-08-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

Not Perfect but it gives you an idea of how I am going to die on this bike (and why I am getting a scouter to drive my scooter. Being Japanese not required. Cooking abilities a must).

In total, this is 1/3 of my way home from school.

Just to give you an idea, it takes me 40-45 minutes to get to school
It takes me 18 minutes maximum to get home.

Fuck You Hill!

bfg on empathy and my students

2010-08-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

I think the best thing I can do for my students is continue learning Japanese.

Not just cause I have to (thesis!). Not just as a personal goal. I really think remembering the things that bore me, that frustrated me, that have humbled me and actually incorporating them into my lessons will help me be a better teacher.

Today was spent working hard at communicating English. Underline "hard". Scream it out loud in your mind and have it echo in your skull. Yup, that was my day.

I had two of my three speech contest attendees come to my office today. Night and Day, I tell you.

The first girl was unresponsive. In fact, the JTE told her she thought the speech was not very good and that the student should maybe try another year, but the student persisted. Normally, I am really into this kind of idea of strong, even sure-to-disappoint drive... But usually this is paired with an eagerness to learn and this student made it seem like I was shoving her head under water for over three minutes at a time.

"Your speech is about friendship, right?"

"Friendship? nandesu ka?"

I point to the first sentence in her speech which has the word "Friendship" in it. I repeat very, very slowly, syl-la-ble by syl-la-ble, "Fru-ren-du-ship-u." God, I even gave in and gave it a Japanese accent.

Nothing. Not a nod, not a yes. Nada.

The JTE in the background chimes in.

"Blalhblahblha Friendshipudesu."

Student turns to me. "Hai! Fri-en-d."

How can I train someone who doesn't even bother to learn the very topic of their speech which they supposedly wrote? I found out that she did write it in Japanese and had it translated by the JTE - something that if I were boss would be an intense no-no (see below). But I am not the Teacher just a humble ALT so I beefed up the speech as requested despite strong feelings of wrongness and recorded my voice so she could practice at home. I offered to meet her during the week but she asked if she could just do it after September 1st. "Fine." But I was disappointed.

My other student walked in during my lunch break but she greeted me with a shy smile and a heavy accented, "Hel-Lo. I am K--!"

People, I fell in love.

Four hours I spent with K--. I did the same thing; made her sentences flow nicely together, changed a few words here and there but her content is strong and really original. I am so impressed with her idea of writing about how the Japanese Soccer Team inspires her because they lost but stayed positive. "Same with my studying English." God, I almost fainted in happiness.

By "changing a few words" let me give you an example. She wrote how the team "effected" her to improve her English even if she fails. I taught her the word "inspires".

"Soudesu! In-spu-ir-ers!! I feel in-spu-ired by the soccer team."

K was still shy but she allowed herself to make mistakes if it meant expressing even a part of her sentence in English. In the end, we had a solid meet and I am so proud of her.

As a side note, the title of her work is Samurai Blue - yet another thesis moment.

In between my speech students, a group of third year high school girls who are not my students came in.

"Banessa! Do you remember my name?"

I always say the same thing. "No. What is your name?"

"R"

"And what is your friend's name."

I don't care if it is repetitive - I am the English Goddess and if the only thing these girls will learn is saying someone's name perfectly well so be it.

We laughed and I gave them candy from my not-so-secret stash in my drawer. I am not beyond bribery ;0

They asked me if I would help even though I was not their teacher. "Of course!"

I was actually starving at that point and was talking to the bf but when it comes to students nothing else matters.

"Can you give us the answers to this test." They handed me five pages to an exam.

"What test is this?"

"University Test." In Japan, you take uni entrance exams. In reality, you take an exam for even an Internet Cafe card in this country!!

"Ah! No."

"EEeeeee! No?!"

"No. We will do the test together."

And for two hours I sat with them and made them do the test. I was surprised at what they knew having only based my judgement of their capabilities on their listening and speaking skills. We did it together and I was so proud of them - encouraging them to return with as many tests as they like. "I will help you find the answer. I will explain it as best I can but I won't just give it to you." Off they went with their candy in pocket promising to return and thanking me for taking the time.

It was remembering this, how I as a teacher feed off the student who is open to learn if not eager, that I walked into my own Japanese language class this evening.

I went to the culture centre to find out about Japanese language classes in the community and discovered a place which provided free lessons Tuesday evenings.

Group Shot of Japanese Class

It is an informal gathering - a setting I usually do badly in. I like structure - the military kind. I work best when given a list and told, "Go!" But I forced myself to ask the questions burning inside me, mostly unexplainable grammar points I had come across in the manga I am currently reading for the Infamous Thesis.

I knew at first some other students were a little frustrated at the more academic, more formal questions I was asking. Most of the students are either bran-smacking new learners or pretty fluent but foreign and want to work on their accent and conversation skills. But again, my students in mind, I went on.

And ended up having such an awesome time.

Me and Old Man. He rocks I tell you!
We had a blast -that is what happens when
you put two people who love food together.

My teacher, an older gentleman who looks 60 so must be 100, was incapable of explaining to me in a way I understood. I remember my first student the one I was frustrated with at saying she understood but really didn't. With that in mind, I kept asking him again... and again... and again to explain. And finally we got it! It was awesome and it was like opening a door in my mind.

At break time he even bought the entire group coffee and from there we sat back and discussed my great love for sushi and the high cost of vegetables. I realized it was the first time in three weeks I had a conversation in Japanese where I wasn't talking about the weather or ordering something. A conversation on veggies may not be so awesome but right now, it has re-energized my batteries.

bfg goes to continue on her manga while listening to Ella F.

bfg on book-shopping and dieting

2010-08-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

On the first Shizuoka-City-JETs-get-together at a horrible "Italian" Resto, the sempai, J, categorically said female JETs gain weight. I am not sure how the conversation came up, but all the women at the table perked up ready to fire questions: Was it because they drank too much? Did they only eat Western food? Did they never leave the house?

I think deep down inside, with the exception of some who are already as slim as the Japanese women, we came here with some hope that the Japanese Effect would take hold and we would loose some weight. It is hard to hear that because my genes aren't used to it the excessive rice, love of fried food and, MOST ANNOYING, the obsession these people have with MAYO ten pounds won't magically peel off.

But I don't think any of those female JETs went book-shopping.

This weekend while most of The Others were in Hamamatsu partying, I decided to stay home, clean, look for scooters (I was unsuccessful) and start intense research on thesis. My advisor, Mr P, sent me a lovely list of Japanese sources. Originally it sent me into a minor heart attack mode thinking of translating all that Japanese kanji by kanji (since most of it is a bit more sophisticated than what I know) but then I realized he was indirectly narrowing my topic and therefore kinda shifting out other works I would have looked at. Though he wrote I could access them at the library, I was all too happy to go book-shopping, especially since I had not hit any of the used bookstores yet.

So off on Glinda I road with the wind at my back and a list all ready in katakana so the shopkeeper could read it if my accent was incomprehensible and some ISBNs (some of them were manga series so there would be many). I decided to go to Book-Off not just because the yellow and blue bright paint appeals to my personal aesthetics, it is just plain huge. A huge bookstore filled with books at a discounted price. Heaven.

BOOK-OFF; Night Shot!

In I go and immediately I felt so out of place. The shopkeepers sang their song "Irashyaimaseeeeeeeeeee." The long eeeeeeeee part an intonation that calls for the other workers in the store to acknowledge my grand entrance. Only a few customers looked up but I felt very self-consious and because of it my ability to read katakana flew out the window. I decided to not ask the shopkeeper, afraid he would begin to sing at me again and browse the shelves. It was mostly manga but it was heavenly. The books were so clean, so perfect... and most were at they were 105 YEN. Truly, paradise for the bibliophile.

I did find Slamdunk, a popular manga not ten years old that kids today still know and read (and watch since of course if the manga is popular, there has to be an anime). Intoxicated by the joy of having discovered one of my list-items, I purchased the first five volumes. The price of course was just a cherry on top.

Again, I set out on my adventure caressing the books at times with my fingertips just happy to be there the sensation of being an Outsider slowly dissipating as I touched something so familiar to me. I always loved bookstores because it is both humbling and exhilarating; you realize how little you know but its so exciting that you have all this knowledge ready to be devoured. As I neared the end, with no more successful finds, a spine caught my eye the bright green and pink colours demanding I give it a look. I pull the book off the shelf.

Bastards.

Huh?!

I read the katakana again, sure I have gone crazy. Then I realize there is also roman letters. Yup, Bastards was the title. I shook my head thinking to myself "Bad Translation" until I noticed the man next to me.

Now I don't know how these bookstores make money since it seems that all the customers just stand in front of the shelf reading the book. So at first this man's actions did not get me but my eyes caught the mega boobs in his comic and then I realized... oh! I returned to Bastards and sure enough, from the images I saw, was pretty intense erotica if drawings of nudity get you off. I almost bought the book as an relic of this memory and experience but then in a panic realized the whole "You are a sensei. People are watching you." bit we were told at every single one of the gazillion Orientations I attended. I quickly replaced the book leaving my curiosity for another time (in another city) and went my merry way to the front counter.

"Sumimasen. Bushido SIX-U-TEEN ga arrimasuka."

"Chioto kudasai." If sumimasen (excuse me) is 70% of Japanese, Chioto Kudasai is the other 29% leaving 1% for everything else (in case you are bad at math). Ask someone their name and they will probably tell you "wait a minute". At Shizuoka Orientation a JTE was speaking and he actually said half way, "Please wait a minute" and then put his head down and thought for a minute and then just started talking again. The thing that surprises me is when they use it and I have to wait like all of 2.576847 seconds. Still, chioto kudasai comes out.

I waited and then realized that two clerks were staring waiting to help. I felt guilty... I just need one of you. I repeated my request and they nearly fell over themselves. The man won out in the end because...

... he broke out into a run.

I kid you not. He ran. Now, when I walk into a conbini and if by some odd chance I catch a clerk who is not behind the counter sure enough the sound of running feet as they quickly remedy the error are sure to follow. This was something I always thought a little cute, though it shames me to write that since it sounds somewhat condesending but it is true - that is how I feel, and guilty. I mean what if the teller would fall down and crack their head open because they were running to their counter? The guilt!

But this... running to get my book? And the thing is, I wanted to know where it was so when I purchased other ones in the series I would know where to go. So after about 5 seconds of shock I quickly walked after him. I searched the rows until finally I found him and walked towards him, smiling. "Sumimasen. Bushiso Six-u-teen nai" he crossed his fingers to emphasize the point.

I was disappointed but then noticed we were in a book section. In my limited Japanese I said, "Korewa hon desu," This is a book. "Bushido Six-u-teen no manga o kaitaidesu," I want to buy the manga of Bushido Sixteen.

"Ohhhhh!" And off he dashed, running back to the counter yelling what I assume was "Do you know where B16 is... the manga" or something equivalent. Unfortunatly, as he ran and yelled, a little obachan got in my way and I could not follow him up the aisle. I turned back and made a right, thinking to run parallel. It worked until I couldn't see him anymore and I backtracked an aisle or two. He was conversing with two other clerks who then both started to run around. Not sure who to follow I went with Clerk #1. Back to the counter. Off to an aisle, down a section... And then finally...

"Sumimasen."

I turn and another clerk is bowing to me. He hands me the first volume of B16 manga saying something like, "This had just arrived today. So sorry it took us so long."

This all took place in about less than four minutes. I took the book and asked, "2 ban?"

"Sumimasen. 2 ban nai." He bowed. I bowed.

BOOK-OFF Purchases

I bought 6 books for 1200 YEN. Heaven, I tell you.

It was not the entire list... So I then went to Toda books, basically the Indigo of Shizuoka; three carpeted floors of glorious, wonderful new books. I had gone the night before to look at books for studying for the JLPT exam and decided to return to see if I could get the other texts.

List in hand, I went to a clerk. "Kore ga arimasu ka?"

The clerk bowed and took the paper with two hands, then quickly typed the ISBN number. "Hai!" And off he ran but I was ready.

He made a right. I made a right. Mother comes in with two kids I take an extra right- left and run faster down a parallel line just to meet him at the end before catching him running down the stairs. Unfortunately, I was too big to doge the older couple but I was able to keep my eye on the clerk and when I caught up to him he handed me Volume 2 of B16.

TODA Bookstore Purchases... The SAMURAI magazine was
not required reading BUT I could not help myself.
The soccer team is called "Samurai Blue"
A thesis Moment!!

I had two more request and both times the dude ran. I got pretty good at following him though the fact that I am taller than the shelves and most of the customers helps a bundle.

It was a workout to be sure! I was SORE later that night and in Book-Off I was out of breath. No wonder these people are able to eat a jar of Mayo a day!

So, though I may be eating more rice in a week than I have in a year in Canada I think weekend book-shopping workouts may balance things out.

bfg on "Hanko this!"

2010-08-18T21:36:00.000-07:00

I am at work now and trying my best to keep busy. It is amazing how the littlest things can take up so much time.

Hanko is stamp in Japanese and the kids here go nuts over them. Especially if it means getting a price at the end. One of the recommendations during Orientation at Asunaro was to have a hanko card to encourage students to participate in class and do their homework. My predecessor did use hanko cards but I was really inspired by the design on the sempai JETs here, Sally L, showed us during our workshops.

So proof that I am not only chatting away on FB but working, voila my hanko cards.

Inside the Hanko/Name Tag card

The "Outside" where the name tag faces me
&
the In-class Phrases chart faces the student.
Folded in three

bfg on I scream!

2010-08-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

Today was the hottest day of the summer so far in Shizuoka. It was so hot that I couldn't even bike up The Hill (at this point it deserves capitals... that and a dynamite stick). At school, kids dipped their shirts in water and wore them all day. That or it was their sweat. At a certain point same deal.

When I arrived at school, I felt dizzy and nauseated. Luckily, I was able to wait until 9:30am before having to go team-teach with Mi-sensei. During summer vacation, the kids in Japan go to school and take extra classes to keep up with their material. During the first week of September, every grade has Math, Japanese and English exams. Sounds pretty intense but I think it is a smart system since too often class time is wasted at the beginning of a year reviewing what students forgot. The teachers are still working hard and they have this time to be less formal, chat with the students and spend more time on studying and understanding. I just feel so bad that there is no AC in the school - only the teacher's room does and the temperature is regulated.

The day went by and I spent most of it busy making my hanko card for the kids. Inspired by some ideas during the Shiz Orientation, I thought to make the hanko cards into name holders. Anyways, they are beautiful and on my way out tonight I am going to go buy some stamps at the awesome shop by my house. I intend to use the hanko cards to bribe students to participate in class, write me letters and read.

Today I met a special student. In fact, I think I am in love with him and may have to bring him back with me. K speaks fluent English; his father is Japanese but his mother comes from another country where he grew up until four years ago when his family moved back from Japan.

"Your English is lovely~!" I said, so happy to be able to talk at normal speed. So hopeful.

"Oh no," he shook his head, "It has become dullish."

I have a student that knows the word dull. How does that happen? "What was the last book you read in English?"

Scratches his head... "A long time ago... about three years ago and it was my sister's book." He seems to be quiet serious, enjoys reading SCI FI! and to be honest I wonder how he is at my high school which is for low-level students. But I am happy to have him - he is mine and I won't have to give him away for another two/three years (he is ichinensei).

Going back to my desk, I tried so hard to stay alive. Yeah, here it takes energy to exist when you are fighting dehydration and sunstroke in a blouse. When the clock hit 2pm, I realized I had not eaten which is stupid. May not be hungry but I have to eat... survival, remember? But just as I sit down a tap on my shoulder.

"isucremu, sukidesuka. ...?" It was one of the teachers with the pretty skirt, who always smiled and tried to talk to me.

"Ice cream. Hai. HAIIIII." I made a gesture which can translate to hot and Ice Cream is Yummy and I am fat.

She gestured for me to followed. I wrapped up the bento and did just that.

Down the hot, steaming halls we went, up and down sets of stairs until finally she brings me to a door. I should have changed my slippers since the was a rack with them in a varient of sizes but she didn't ask me to so I desided to conserve energy... I was not expecting this when I agreed to a dessert.

In we go greeted by the sounds of giggles. Two older women, obviously teachers, are laughing as smoke surrounds them. One is holding a huge silver container, the other stiring.

"Ahhh, ii!" The lady with the bowl dressed to the nines even in this heat handed me a bowl and gestured to what clearly translated to "Stir."

Boy, did I stir. I was sweating and angling my face so it wouldn't drip in the bowl. As I stirred Dressed Up woman took a wooden spoon skimming the rim of the bowl. "Bo -by?"

It took me ten seconds... "Bobby? From JET? British?"

"English."

"Yes, I know Bobby!"

She then pointed to herself. Translation: I work with Bobby.

"No way! Too bad he is at English Camp. It would have been fun." and in my head I added, to help me stir! I mean I was happy and having fun but being told several times how "jiyozu"/skilled I am at stirring felt like a hidden message of that is all you can do. Which is true but still!

As I stirred, my teacher waved a fan and chatted away. I did love bearing witness to the sound of their chatter, it felt like I was in my grandma's basement kitchen rolling gnocchi on a basket. The other kept on pouring the liquid ice which burned my hand and irritated my thigh but was so cool. After, we ate the mango caramel sorbet as we talked about otakus and their children. I love how cooperative they are -everyone was working. We all cleaned up, we all ran around to grab this and that, we all, even me, squealed when the liquid ice burned us. As we sat and ate, they told me of each others homes and families which struck me as so odd and I had to do everything in my power to not change my facial expression as I listened. The other teacher told me about my senseis four children, rich husband and house by the water. Whereas mine told me of Dressed Up Lady's one child who is hyper smart but somewhat of a nerd (to which I said nerds are sexy and they just stared and said "Oh, but her son is the cute one" haha). Once I was told a fact which would surprise me like four kids, cause that is a lot!, I would turn to the person and ask "Honto!?"

"Honto." And they would nod.

Usually, I would say these things, like "I have a dog", "I speak French", "I dislike chicken." I think making this connection really helped me understand why teachers would, what I then thought, brag about me: "Vanessa sensei speaks English, French, Italian and Japanese!" It wasn't to brag about my knowledge (dude, that is nothing in Quebec I always say but no one listens) but to demonstrate at how well they know me and say, if I were Japanese, would maybe be to shy to say on my own. Though this is not the case, I think I am going to try it Japanese style for a while and see what happens.

In closing, no I didn't have my camera. I know... but the memory of the open windows, huge room with the green slippers lined perfectly and the sensation of liquid ice is still with me. I hope the Chemistry Lab kids appreciate the efforts of their teachers!!

This evening I went out for a beer with the gals and it was great. It felt good to be less strung up i.e. needing to do something; I think Internet has really liberated my life. I do have to take care of some paper work for the Driver's License since a scouter requires special papers. sigh. And I still need to get my re-entry permit though I am going to try to go with Mi-sensei when we pick up my alien card.

I was thinking of traveling around but I realize the trap I am setting for myself... always making this weekend the "exception". From now to December it is Thesis Camp for moi, that and teaching and living a normal balanced life with fewer excitements other than awesome students, adventures on The Hill, and crashing my bike into automobiles.

The only pleasure I can have is buying a fucking scouter. You must be so sick of this hill but its my blog so there.

Sushi
So much sushi and I paid 1000 Yen.
Crazy.

bfg goes to make a to-do list.

bfg can make small wishes come true

2010-08-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

I will take better pics during the Festival, but this one is for you Al and all the SciFy friends.

bfg is now The Fool on The Hill

2010-08-17T06:38:00.000-07:00

Before I say anything Japan related... Star Wars. Blu Ray. My lifetime.

So I am happy! Very happy. So happy I am thinking of buying a used PS3 in anticipation.

But first, I will have to buy a scouter.

Ah yes folks, the decision has been made. I need a set of wheels and I don`t want a car. Please not the use of `want` and `need`.

I can not do it anymore. It has just been two weeks but it is always the same. I dread coming to school and going home at the end of the day because deep down inside I am certain I will die.

And I almost have! How many times has a car turned the corner and almost killed me? About 1.5 times a day I tell you and always the last three block before I get to the bottom of the `hill` - not appropriate for the size of that thing, but anyways- which leads me up to school.

The hill is gynormous. It is also steep as fuck. It is the only time while I am in Japan that I have been significantly depressed, considering taking a free-ride down the ridge into the water since it would be less suffering than what I go through.

Eatten alive by insects. So much sweat I need to bring a towel with me and make pit stops to mop my brow and other areas. Aches while students with their parents drive up waving and pointing as they shout `ALT! ALT!`. On my way down, I go so fast my brakes hardly work and I am sure I will die but if I walk it makes the 40 mins extend to 60...

Above all else, it is walking into the staff room in excercise clothes, red faced and dripping as I feel the gushing flow of sweat down my back and teacher`s giggle as they look `Atsui! Atsui!` Atsui my ass! They don`t really sweat just stare at me. I don`t blame them for the staring - it is sickening.

Hence, my resolve for the scouter. It will save my life and though it may mean spending money for a time, it does mean survival.

Many people have said to me that I should just do it! It will make me fit! Yes, but I am not coming to school to exercise? No - to work and the thought of standing in front of the class while I scratch my armpits because they are irritated is just not a possibility for me.

Flood Under Fridge

In other news, there is a little flood in my apartment which has me concerned. The supposed fridge that functions in fact rotted the floor it was under. The landlord has investigated thank goodness and all should be well. It doesn`t bother me as much as the crack in the tub though. As you can see by the pics, not a pretty site. But I really do love my apartment. I think taking the time to decorate it and make it my own has helped me adapt and think of it as home. The decor is not finished but I am enjoying overall (though it will be even better when these two problems are fixed). I am just happy I went with my gut instinct and not buy my predessesors stuff. Many JETs from Shizuoka and Montreal have said they regret it - the stuff is old, doesn`t work or, in most cases, you realize it is just junk. They did have the convineance of sleeping in a bed the moment they got off the plane and not stress as much as I did... you choose what is right for you and I definitly did. Annoyed as I am about the fridge, imagine how much more so had I paid for it? Now I have to get rid of it but the landlord said he would and I can finally get the fridge I want. I just look forward to the day it happens and am hoping it is done before school starts.

Crack in Tub

Haven`t touched the thesis work in a week, though I did start translating the manga adaptation of Nitobe`s book Bushido. This week I desided to set it aside and focus on making a year long curriculum for all my classes and the lesson plans. Next week I have a meeting with most of my JTE`s (Japanese Teacher`s of English) and once my curriculum is confirmed I can make the sheets, start on the supplies but above all else kinda set it aside and focus my mental energy on completing this Master`s.

I am quickly learning that the true success of a good teacher, besides towering over everyone and not having to worry about disipline, is being organized; know what you are doing and being ready at any moment to explain why. At first, my supervisor seemed a little frustrated at my requests of having net on my computer since she probably thought I would spend the day on Facebook. I do spend time of FB, especially talking to other JETs, but today I made a calendar, did all the lessons for OCI class (my main class), made a list of supplies, designed my hanko (points) card for the students and started to outline my first lesson in detail; before leaving she said how excited she was at the fact that she knows most of the hard work is done! She was also very resistant at my idea of using `teachology` in the classroom but after I showed her some specific ideas she caught on. One of the major stresses is one`s relationship with their supervisor; be yourself and don`t be vague. I think the idea of computers scared her but showing her a movie of Sasha rolling around in the grass for my self-intro and how I was going to embed it in a power point presentation got her even more excited about our upcoming classes together.

Last weekend though I did have fun. Friday night after Prefecture Orientation (which I should be blogging about now but whatever), the Shizuoka JETs met up went to a few bars and a club. The night was great fun except at the end when my houseguest for the weekend had her bag stolen. It was not the smartest thing - she left it in a locker without locking - but everyone didn`t quiet believe here. `This is Japan! No one steals in Japan.` And I mean everyone said it, my new Japanese friends, my exchange partner Ken, the three police officers at the koban - they all looked at her surprised. It sucked because along with loads of money she had her passport so, for lack of a better way to phrase it, she is paddling up shits creek to be sure.

Best Coffee I ever had in my life
- served with Maple Syrup!
A moment where I really missed Antonio

We spent Saturday doing the paperwork and just walking around Shizuoka city. It reminds me of Saint-Hubert street in Montreal a lot; the wide sidewalks, the storefronts. Although the shops in St-Hub are shit and here they are just utterly amazing and I don`t understand how people can survive. I don`t even cook yet the kitchen stores. OMG - the sister and bf would die here. I reframed from spending money since most of my day was filling out forms and ... *drim roll* getting Internet.

That is right people, I have internet. The freedom. The wonders. How JETs survived pre-Internet, mobile phone I don`t know. I would die. I almost did racing my bike to 24hr Internet Cafes and drinking loads of Cola as I listened to suspicious sounds in neighbouring stalls. Still, they sanitize those places like mother-f**ers! I now have Softbank`s mobile to go: unlimited internet access, everywhere and anywhere I get a mobile signal for 4,480 YEN per month. Best of all, no 4 to 6 week wait with Yahoo BB nor concern if I ever have to move out because I wake up drowning in fridge-water.

Rolling Sushi. Cheep and oh-so-fresh

Sunday I met up with Ash and showed her all the malls and shops for taller, wider people such as moi. And while inside there were mega, mega sales and well... we couldn`t help ourselves. Softbank gave me 5,000 YEN gift-certificates so I bought loads of stuff but did not pay a lot. It felt good and very normal, like a right of passage. Ashley is fast becoming my `buddy JET` though I have promised myself that I will not be locked to the JET nishe. Hence the mega-ultra dinner planned for Wednesday with loads of locals, Ash and I.

For now, I shall get ready to leave my first Japanese class this evening! Wish this fool riding down the hill luck.

bfg on meeting my students

2010-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

View From Teacher's Room

I was honestly at the point of considering throwing myself out the window in the teacher’s room as it would mean possibly landing in the ocean, swimming in water instead of my own sweat.

The only rooms in the school which have AC are the teacher’s room, the computer room and the administrators room. But today there was a blackout frill. First day a fire drill where I am made to handle the firehose (that was a feat!) and now surviving a blackout. Dear me, could they not choose a cooler day to do this sort of thing?!

It was while I was gazing out to the Pacific that I heard it.

Giggles. “Helllll-Lo.”

I turned.

“Helllll-o (giggle, giggle) my name is... Sa--!” Laughter. “uhhhh... uhhhh” She rolls her eyes as if searching her mind... “Nice to meet you!” She found them.

And it was that moment my friends I felt pure elation because I knew it was my first teacher moment.

Sa- introduced her friend Yu-- whose English was pretty much non-existent but Sa-- made up for it in her gumption and spoke for them both. We talked for about forty minutes using many an electronic dictionary (3) and the dictionary on my iTouch to get by.

A part of me became discouraged - they couldn’t understand the simplest sentences and I had to act everything out. For two girls it is fine, but a whole class!? I have no idea how I am going to teach these kids and actually succeed in disseminating knowledge instead of just entertain which I am starting to have the feeling is what most JETs end up doing.

But there was some success, for example after ten minutes of searching and two teachers joining in. I taught them the word “synonym”. Can I just say, that is an awesome word to teach! Suddenly I was able to express to them that the word “exam” has the same meaning as “test”; they were elated. It really felt like I opened a door.

By the end we had a not-so-secret handshake and traded our favorite band names, me having introduced them to Carla Bruni and Feist. I think they were surprised when I zipped out the iTouch that I could text and type as quickly as they could. It totally put me in the “cool teach” pool...

In fact, word got around that I got the iPhone 4 and now the soccar boys thing I rock and am rich. If only!

Sa and Ya are third year students coming to school to study for university entrance exams. They come in and out of the teacher’s work having written practice essays and solved algorithms seeking advice from their senseis. I had seen them many a time and even waved but this is the only time they spoke to me. And though the low-level of English is scaring me the fact that they are willing to put up with the Pictionary way of explaining things gives me more than hope. It makes me excited for September.

I don’t have internet... in fact, I just got out of the shower and am getting ready to meet some other JETs in the area with a sempai (a JET who has been here for over a year) for some dinner and to speak English at a normal speed. But I wanted to write this down... it was vivid in my mind and my fingers were just itching to write.

I will be out of touch for a while since I am going to prison... aka Prefecture Orientation. I wouldn’t mind it but I have to sleep in these horrible dorm beds. So it goes.

*** written august 10th***

bfg doesn't know where to start so she just skips everything...

2010-08-09T04:33:00.000-07:00

“What do you mean I can not Skype in a Wi-Fi zone?”

the salesclerk at Softbank didn’t speak a word of English. Had this situation been in Montreal, someone would have bitch slapped me with an “estee immigrant!” But this is Japan where the only sign this girl had a 10 hour working day was the one wrinkle in the back of her skirt. I was thinking of telling here but the horror that would cause! So she replies, “Japanese-Japanese-does not work-Japanese-Japanese-Japanese-only in Wifi-Japanese- Starbucks-and-McDonald’s-”

“Mc-Don-al-dzu?” I couldn’t believe it. It can’t be true.

“Hai! McDonald’s ... wifi.”

She handed me a piece of paper and sure enough - wifi at McDs people. And there is a 24 hr one right near my house.

So moments before writing this, as I order my cheeseburger the idea of free wifi overcame all sentiments of guilt that I was in Japan and eating McDs for the second time. Shame.

“3-ban Kudasai. Set-o desu.” which is roughly Number 3 please; drink and fries too.

Blah blah blah, he asked a whole bunch of questions like do I want lemon and/or sugar with my iced tea (I took both) what size for the drink, and to please wait a moment because in Japan we actually only make the burger once you order it.

As I waiting astonished at how clean and cozy this place it - leather couches, jazz music - I asked, “Wifi?” Intonating my voice to indicate question.

He smiled, “Sumimasennnnnn, wakarimasen.”

“You know... wi-fi.” And then like an idiot I stuck my finger in the air and did a Sci-Fi- 2001 Space Odyssey thing. The young man looked scared. “Sumimasen... forget it.”

He handed me my food apologizing a gazillion times for not speaking English. I said to him in English, “Of course not! we are in Japan.” He nodded and gave me a 90 degree bow. Full service at this McDs.

That is when I realized I had two fries on my tray. I return to said scared McDs High school Student worker. “2?”

“hai!”

Annoyed at the succession of gaijin moments, I sat down opened the comp and stuff my face. Fuck it - two fries it is.

Only no wi-fi. So I am writing this and will return to Carpacio to post.

My phone is ordered (iPhone 4 baby), my internet as well. My gaijin card is only ready the 27th of August but I went back to get the green paper because no one likes the white version it seems. Racists.

I got lost today trying to find an electronic dictionary that costs more than 2 months of rent but no luck. I will just have to do it. Wouldn’t be so annoying if I didn’t have to pay for all my Tokyo Orientation (but be reinbursed in two paycheques. VERY ANNOYING).

The moment I have internet at home this will be a normal blog. Until then picture me riding Glinda, my awesome bike, up a steep hill everyday as cars honk and wave and laugh at me and my sexy blue rain coat.

bfg on "it is not my fault!"

2010-08-06T17:28:00.001-07:00

It really isn`t.

Wi-fi here non-existant and it took me three days to find an internet cafe. I now understand why - this is luxury people. The manga library in this place is enormos, I am sitting in this lovely sofa chair and with a press of a button I can have any meal I want for under 500 YEN (about 5$ canadian). Not to mention a bar of unlimited drinks...

So much has happened. My apartment is really starting to look beautiful. The tub is getting a vinegar treatment while I am out here, but other than things needing a good scrub I love it! Without the ability to post pictures though it is hard for me to write. So much to say. So I thought for now I would tell you about my first day of school.

Mi-sensei is my supervisor. She looks thirty so I will allow you to figure out just how old she is in White People Years. Mi-sensei was kind enough to pick me up in her car; "Please dress すずし" (cool).

Driving to school was overwhelming. I was trying so hard to consentrate on how to get to school but the roads in Japan they make no sense. NONE ARE STRAIGHT even the ones that may seem to be. The worst part was when I asked what the street name is; "Street name? This is too small a road for the japanese to give it a name."

So off we go turning the bend me so afraid that she will run over a cyclist. This is not to say she is a bad driver, in fact there must be something in these peoples genetic code on reversing into a parking spot perfectly in one try (albeit they open their driver door to do it). At the MiniShi\op, Mi-sensei made a sharp left and up the hill we went, through the forest that felt so much like home if it weren`t for the bamboo so thick and beautiful.

I love this about Japan - it is so plush. The paint here is fresh, the road signs are so clean and the variety of shades of green here are a wonder to behold. The only thing that ruined the moment was the realization in the back of my head that I will have to climb this baby with my bicycle. Me on a bike... a frightful image.

The school is kind of on a cliff overlooking the ocean. they have binoculars in the teachers room though whether they are for spying on naughty students or for the scenery, I am not sure. Even for someone like me who hates sand and sun, it takes my breath away.

The teacher`s staff room is big and open with the AC low but in comparison to what is `out there` a havan. Mi-sensei was so busy running around that I just plopped down on my seat and looked around. It felt so good to see the view from my desk... all this wondering about what awaits me in Japan and here I am in a desk chair. It is so normal and very welcome. It does de-romantisize the whole idea of Japan but this is one of the many reasons why I wanted to come. There are desks in Japan. No they don`t fly though they probably have so function where it gravitates.

Mi-sensei had to leave soon after for a doctors appointment so I was alone chatting it up with the senseis as best I could with my 200 word vocabulary list. Everyone says `jiyozu` and I feel such shame knowing they mean for a white fatso. I guess I am skilled if we think of it that way. The people were really laid back and relaxed with one teacher actually wearing jean capris. I felt like turning her in just to see what would happen.

All of a sudden - `Vanessa! Please follow` And out the door I go, to the back of school for the fire assimilation. Yup, on my first day I had to take control of a firehose and wield that baby myself. It felt great because I sucked so bad I got all wet which was a cool relief. Thank goodness for sports bras as I was wearing a white shirt. The teachers cheered and yelled and though I understood about 1.459273% of it, it was in that moment of craziness I fell in love. again.

The rest of the day went by quickly. No enkai for me which made me sad but I think they may be waiting for the other teachers on vacation before we go. I am looking forward to the day! Lunch time I went to a Thai restaurant with another JTE (Japanese English Teacher) and a Biology teacher. The owner scared the bejezzes out of me with rubber spiders, scorpians juimping out of boxes and a plasic snake crawling up my leg. I only screamed twice - be proud.

bfg on note-taking

2010-07-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

My thighs and other sensitive parts are tingling from the waxing lady. God, it feels so good to go - it hurts like hell but you feel great. This lady, Dorothy at Salon Voce, nine minutes and you are out of there. She is zippity quick and cheep for downtown i.e. recommended.

Am sitting here at Indigo with my fruit passion and mango iced tea staring lovingly at my new business cards out of the corner of my eye. I was complemented by the graphics guy on the colour choice which made me beam with pride. Pathetic to be sure but the worse part - at the salon, I saw Hachiko, the Japanese hairdresser who was kind enough to do my hair yesterday, who gave me loads of advice and who I wished to continue corresponding with. So duh, hand her a business card right? But I couldn't do it... it felt so pretentious and "not me". So there you have it people, one hundred business cards in my name and $55.48 dollars later and I don't use them. Lovely.

One useful piece of advice Hachiko gave me was a travel agency that had great deals on booking tickets to Japan and most of Asia, Voyages Baro Baro. Hachiko-san was able to book a ticket to J for $900 with Air Canada in December. That is just amazing~! Especially for the JETs with significant others staying in Montreal or for my friends and family that want to visit it is nice to know where to go for the best deal. They are located right by the Art Java on University street....

~~ I never posted this so thought to now. So funny reading it while I am in Japan~~

bfg on ladytime

2010-07-26T22:37:00.000-07:00

Just watched my last True Blood in Canada. God! I love that show.
(FYI: I am a Team Bill fan but my heart pitter patters for Eric. Yum!)

Speaking of blood, I just realized while taking my pill this evening that ladytime is scheduled for... SATURDAY MORNING for me. That is right - it seems I am cursed with my moon-time every time I take a plane. When I went to Spain three years ago, I slept the whole way on the plane only to wake-up twice to eat and throw-up.

Yes, I am requesting an aisle seat.

Honestly, a big damper on my week knowing this dark cloud is looming ahead. I packed two advils and hopefully it will do... This paired with the fact that my tampons (go OB!) weigh a whole pound makes me resentful. It really pisses me off - like I know dudes can't help it but say can't the airport claim "We don't count menstruating equipment when it comes to weight!" I would really appreciate an airline to do that!

Eric is the one in the middle.
God, I hate vampires but I adore this show...
and Vampire Diaries.

But this also brings me to writing this post in the first place. Someone asked me why I was down and I told them, "I am frustrated because I am getting my period the day I fly out of Canada which sucks not to mention my tampons take up way too much space in my suitcase." And this person was astounded that I told him... the TRUTH. What am I supposed to do? Lie? Are we in the 18th century? You asked, please remember dear.

One big concern for many female JETs is getting the Yakkan Shomei, which is like a passport for your drugs, for Japan. In Japan, usually women have to go see a doctor every three weeks to renew their oral contraceptive prescription - in Canada it can be administered for a year and a pharmacist can give you an extra month or so if they feel it is okay. The YS is really complicated to fill out because it asks for technical details. I had to have my pharmacist help me as they asked for exact ingredients, company and manufacturer information not to mention copies of prescription (I already had one but had to re-get a new one so I could scan it and send it).

Now, a girl can take a pack of 21 pills or 28 pills. The difference is the seven extra are just sugar pills as day-holders (see the green pills at the bottom of the pack in the pic to your left?); so you don't get out of the annoying habit of having to worry about the function of your ovaries. Fine. In my file, it is written that I don't care - whichever box is in stock I will take, I usually just throw the sugar pills away or feed it to the dog.

My big mistake. I ended up not being specific to my pharmacist that I had to get the exact one on the prescription, Alesse 21, and she gave me twelve boxes of Alesse 28. In Canada, no one cares but I am so worried about what will happen at Narita airport. I really don't want my first month in a foreign country, which has its own challenges, to include me having so many hormonal fluctuations. Getting off the pill is not necessarily easy (or hard, it depends on the woman) but I don't want to risk it.

All these girl concerns... and I read on Facebook and other forums women apologizing for asking for advice and talking about it. Screw that. I am concerned and am frustrated right now and if you are going to ask me in person or continue reading on this post, that was your choice, ne?

bfg on ldr surviving

2010-07-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am keeping the title so that something from my efforts of writing this past week prove to be of some use.

I rewrote this post a million times. Well, in my head it was a million times but maybe on blogger it was five or six. Still, every time it either sounded kitch or corny or oh-so-savy, which I am not.

How do you survive a long distance relationship? I have no fucking clue and am a little annoyed at the look people get in their eyes when I say "Yes, I am going to Japan. No, my bf is not coming with me."

One can make the argument I am abandoning him - which is nice but I really don't care. Many other JETs have expressed on forums that their partners were whining that song away on their violin and my advice is to dump their asses. Luckily, this is not the case for moi; Ant encouraged me to apply to JET, was and still is super supportive of the whole thing even after I told him I think I want to stay the full time (3 years).

Now, I have told this to people and this is where my annoyance reaches a level where I want to put on a wife-beater and backhand the person when their look morphs from "How could you do that to him?" to "Oh, he is just getting rid of you so he can chase tail while you are gone! Poor you - so blind." and they shake their head to themselves.

I don't see why someone who encourages their partner in fulfilling their dreams even though it puts strain on the relationship is suddenly labeled as a Duke of Sluts but that is fine, no problem. Just fly away, Insect!

We haven't gone ldr yet - 6 days and counting - so I can't give advice. But what is going on in my head? Well, it will suck that is for sure. It is really nice having someone next to you when you are writing a paper, editing and helping you work out your ideas. Nice to have someone do groceries with and blabbing about one's day. And I like sleeping next to someone at night, it feels safe. Oh, well sucks to be me!

But I, and the bf I can safely say, are looking forward to time apart. You have no idea how happy I am at the fact that I am going somewhere CAT FREE (gates of heaven open as the trumpets sound and light fills the room) and I think he needs a reprive from my hyper ventilation every time the cats do something retarded (which is all the time!) . My salary is going to fast track both of us in getting out of debt and saving some. But most importantly, until this is done on my check list of "Life things to do before I Croak" we can't evolve in our relationship.

Leaving For Ottawa with Famous Suitcase

So, ldring will have its really sucky moments but so do loads of things in life. And it will suck in Japan so that in itself rocks. To moi anyways.

We did have a three-day Ottawa getaway of which I put up some pics here. I thought it was necessary because I am going crazy and I don't want the last memories of me being a woman surrounded by three open Samsonite luggages shaking my fist to the skies while wailing. "Why me? Why me?" as I curse my big feet.

Now lets get something straight. Ottawa - four days MAXIMUM. This is not a city, I don't care if Parliament is there or not. Any place where I can't get a cafe latte after 9pm is not a city, capisci?

But the B&B was spectacular. Take a look:

The food situation was... special. It seemed if you spent good money (like $$$) you got great food but anything less and it was downhill baby. Here is a tidbit from our favourite resto The Urban Pear where they serve only local foods. The bill was $100CDN for two people and I had one glass of wine. We did not have appetizers and you really don't need it - very filling.

We did get our plates eventually...

In conclusion, happy we got away from dishwashing and obligations to pets to spend some time together. And I am elated that I live in a time of Internets and SKYPE and Google and iTouch with microphones. But in the end, it will be hard but I don't think it will be paralyzing. What will happen will happen for better or for worse and the fun is in finding out I would say, no?

"Women are Persons too!" statues at Parliament

Teepe at Carlton University

In other news, International Driver's Licence is complete thank the lord. The RAMQ still won't let me renew my medicare card -

"Please come back July 31st."
"Yes, but I leave July 31st."
"Oh, well I am sorry Madame there is nothing I can do."
"Is there anyone else I can speak to?"
"No point. The computer won't let us do it."

Am I the only person disturbed by that last remark?

The packing is done. I even put in my running shoes (which weighs almost 2 pounds god damit!). I am over by 2 ounces in one of the suitcases but I will take my chances. And I love my suitcases - I know I have written this before but they are so green and beautiful. AND the most exciting thing is I bought a green, leather meishi (business card) holder that matches them AND THEN I designed my business cards with a hint of green on it. Take a look:

Japanese Card
English on other side

Cardholder

The Divine is in colour coordination I tell you *sigh of pleasure*. I know that no one will see me with all three at the same time, except for maybe at the airport but its like bra and underwear matching - YOU know and it makes all the difference.

Luggage

I was actually really intrigued by the entire meishi business and encourage you to read up on it by following the hyperlink. At Orientation, we were advised that it was a complex system of rules but since we are gaijin our only concern was to bow, not write on the business cards at all and to try and put them away once you have parted ways. I read up on it and the proper etiquette is fascinating. I wonder if they have meishi police or something. But more importantly, I wonder how they teach the following generation these rules. Like, is there a parent who actually says "Now Utako, hold the bottom ends of the card. No, no FACING the other person so they can read. Yes, good. A little lower... perfect."? One of the things I am excited about finding out.

At my good-bye dinners several people have wondered aloud whether I will survive in a society so regulated which I find funny because they think there are not the same social rules that set the parameters for our own lives. Perhaps we may not bow to the teacher every morning or hand over business cards the same way but there is so much I know I even take for granted, that I associate as normal and yet haven't pinpointed. It happens to me sometimes here in Canada - when I eat at a friends house who is non-Italian/European... it amazes me. Or the fact that people eat turkey at Christmas - this is something I find so disturbingly foreign to me, and I am not even religious! But it bothers me I can tell you that for free. Not in a way where I am mad but in my head I think, "OMG! I am so happy I will never, ever do that at my table in my life. EVER!" It says something about me to be sure: my intense distaste for bird, the memory of my now-dead Nonnina telling me that we can only eat fish on the Eve because it is a respect to the animals that sacrificed their home for Christ, how I prefer having several choices of meats and veggies versus a more narrow menu (this is something Italians and Asians have in common). But these are ideas I have which I never would have realized had I not been faced with ... "Other than". I like Others - very exciting. And this is exactly why I am going to Japan. Not to find myself since I am me and that phrase is just retarded and overused. Am going to break down the more academic, 2-dimentional idea I have of "Japanese" that I have assumed in my intellect which I think can only be done by facing the beast.

Not to mention to eat copious amounts of sushi, swoon at the Japanese boys because there is no harm in looking, and teach!
God, I am jealous of myself!

bfg on pets

2010-07-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

It is 1am and I should be in bed but was doing some last minute things for Ottawa, like charging the batteries of my devices, etc. and while uploading my pics, I came across this which I had to share with you: Sasha, the bf's dog, in my luggage.

No, that was not for Ottawa - I was repacking today for Japan and unfortunately it did not go so well. The omiyage are just too heavy considering the amount. I don't know what to do but will figure it out I guess.

As mentioned below, have been trying to convince the bf to come stay in Japan for a significant amount of time... a summer between 1st and 2nd year and a year free with moi while I am on my third year. He can write that famous novel swimming in his head and then I can just live in Japan for 5 months out of the year for the rest of my life.

Crazy? I know I may not even WANT to stay but this is a convo I thought best for now in person and not in the future over SKYPE.

One of my big hurdles is going to be having him keep the dog at the 'rents for the time awat. At least my competition is small cute heehee.

But joking aside, pets in Japan is a huge deal. It will cost us at least 2 K to fly Sasha over. At Narita airport, Ant would have to pay for a hotel for 2 weeks just to go and feed and clean the cage 2x per day. And than, she needs to get hyper tested, shots, etc. A special collar given to her with all this info (mostly when her last rabies shot was) ... and even if we did ALL THAT, which I would, in my craziness in love moment would consider buying into, we would have to move out of my apartment. Most apartments do not allow pets to live inside and it has been explained to me that Sasha outside is not an option.

But she is pretty cute. I am going to miss her a lot, even though she annoys me at night when she walks around and I wake up. It is really nice when I open the door and come home to see Sasha wagging her tail and kissing me "Hello!". Sometimes she even tells me about her day. This is one smart dog and has always made for good company...

Who knows! Maybe I can bribe the landlord?!

bfg and 14days

2010-07-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

Yeah, can you believe it? two weeks to go and I am gone.

And it has started - as per usual - I am not sleeping well even when I do sleep. I am too excited, nervous, apprehensive, anxious and scared all at the same time. So much going on inside: emotions vying with each other that I am not sure how I even feel. It makes it hard to concentrate and so the reading for the thesis has suffered. Poor me.

I am starting to worry about money, about having enough in Japan to have some fun but also save enough so I am out of debt in 4 months (god, just writing that seems surreal) and paying the crazy grad school tuition fees.

I am anxious to meet my supervisor and students, to get to know them and teach them and LEARN from them.

I am so scared that I will walk into an apartment filled with cockroaches and tar. Scared that for some reason all the shops will be closed on the day I arrive in Shizuoka so I won't be able to buy a bed...

I am nervous about my Japanese - like about to projectile vomit nervous. I have been preparing my intro speech to the school and just saying, "私の名前　は　ヴァネッサです。” brings on nausea. Will I sound like a five year old? Is my accent okay? Is the angle of my bow right? It is not Japan - I am often overcome with sicky feelings when I have to meet new people. It is so funny when people tell me I am so outgoing I will "make friends easily". Actually, it is really hard for me and I kinda hate doing it but force myself to just because I don't like my stomach controlling me.

Leaving Ant, the bf, is proving to be difficult. At night, I realize lying in bed that he won't be there for reassurance after a bad dream. Nor will we be there to keep each other warm at night. The idea that an entire year will pass before seeing him is scary - thank goodness for SKYPE - but at the same time I am looking forward to reasserting my independence. I just hope I don't burn down the apartment from a cooking accident while proving this to myself.

And already, the idea of just staying a year is looking impossible. How can I do all the things I want to do in Japan (Okinawa caves, Hiroshima, Sapporo, the Pacific Islands, etc.) AND save 1/2 my salary AND finish my thesis AND be a kick-ass teacher? I am trying to convince the bf to join me for a year (or some significant amount of time) should this happen but that seems unlikely - he just ain't nomadic and the pets are proving to be competition ;0. Anyways, a bridge to cross when we get there.

BUT this weekend we are going away to ... Ottawa. Now I know what you are thinking but think of it: what money we save in transport we spent on a really nice B&B with a king size bed and a tub. Yuppers - the best gift to oneself because for three days and two nights there will be no pets, no obligations, no dishes to wash - just us enjoying each others company and visiting loads of museums and bookstores. I think it is something we (well at least I) need - a pause from my psycho to-do list and repacking obsessive compulsiveness to calm down and enjoy the moment.

Talk to you when I get back! I promise pictures :)

bfg on signs

2010-07-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

A quick post -

I am attaching an awesome stencil Tania, the MTL coordinator, made for us Atlantic JETs but is just so helpful to anyone going to Japan. The Kanji below are for common signs you would see in Japan.

Start Memorizing!

bfg on ladies night

2010-07-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it home safely. Yes - even after half a bottle of cheep sparkling wine and five too many vodka &ice teas (whose counting?) I am home in pjs getting ready to watch another episode of Supernatural.

This evening I had supper with Gabs and Catherine, the SciFy chicks I went to Worldcon with last August. Always a pleasure to be in the company of those two and it amazes me that though I have known them since CEGEP only this year have we really gotten close.

The three of us are swamped; one being preggers and the other completing a degree with both supporting themselves. But since I was leaving they made the time to have a little get together, us three, to chat and catch up before I leave for what at this very moment feels like too long a time.

There is something so magical about goodbyes like this. None of us know how long I will be gone, none of us know if, considering how we are evolving into different "life roles" now, we will really be able to have more drinking/eating/blabing nights. So when I hugged each one of them it was so... so precious. It is sad and yet beautiful this moment that I hold them with uncertainty of not only when we would next meet but HOW we would.

And as I sit here, I miss them both so much already. Gabs and Catherine are so, so special to me. Over the course of this year I have shared lunches and author talks with them being able to switch from talking about my day at work to how struck I was by the latest G.G. Kay book. These two ladies are so dazzling because they aren't bored when I outline the plot to Wheel of Time Book #13... again. In fact, they often rebuttal with a synopsis on Jasper Fforde's writing style or a look at the dedicated and honourary Sci Fi shelf in the living room. Gabs and C are as passionate about books as I am - so its no wonder we all squealed when I told them about the books adventures planned for August 4th in Tokyo.

July has been a month of realizing all the crap that has been in my life which I am happy to leave behind. But right now as I write this up, there is a oh-so-strong realization of the very many things I love here.

bfg on the Japan War Chest

2010-07-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

It is a Sunday morning and the shops only open at noon. Tempted as I am to curl up in the Reading Chair and drown myself in the latest Jordan book, it seems right to flesh out a few concerns I have and catch you all up on the latest news which all has to do with the big question: What to bring with me to Japan?

Now, I could ship things ahead and if I were going to snowy Hokkaido I would (winter jackets, etc.) but the charges are significant and I would rather just bring it with me in my suitcase and pay the airline fees. Since my trip is overseas, I am allowed two large suitcases that weigh no more than 23kg, one carry on at no more than 4.5 kg and one purse. JET has a travel agent who handles all our flight arrangements in Vancouver and it looks like we will all be flying Air Canada. Atlantic JETs unfortunately have to stop over in Toronto but this means I may get to sit next to Ashley, the TO pen pal, so a total upside. I think only TO and Vancouver JETs get a direct flight...

With these restriction... what to bring? This blog is called Big Female Giant and it was ALMOST called Big Fat Female Giant but my love of Dahl won out in the end.

It is not that I am Fat, though in Japan I will probably be called Cow by my students, but I am far from being small being a size 10 in most things (sizes always vary depending on the store. That is why I love American brands) which translate to Size "I don't Exist" in Japan. Sigh. Dreams of Tokyo Shopping Spree wisked away...

Its not just my pant size though ... I have big feet (and there is no sexual innuendo in that comment given I am female!). A size 10 usually fits me here in Canada but I also have wide feet... God! I am really laying out all the negatives here - its just to say, I need to bring everything I could possibly need for a year (or more) in Japan for all occasions. Even though I am dieting and rejoined the gym (spinning classes!) I can't change this simple fact.

Now maybe you think, "Oh! What a whiner, 100 pound of stuff to bring and she is complaining?"

Yeah, dam right I am!

Take the shoes; I need to bring shoes for walking, running shoes, shoes for going to school, shoes for inside school, flip flops for the washroom at school (since the washroom slippers will be for people with significantly smaller feet. Oh, you didn't know? In Japan, you change footwear in the washroom), rain boots, shoes for going out and casual/going out shoes that are comfortable enough for walking around in but also fine for last minute going out. That is, speaking plainly, a shit load of shoes.

Now in Montreal, if I need a pair of shoes, I go out buy a cheep pair and they last the season and to the Salvation Army they go. But because I need things that are durable, not knowing how long I intend to stay for, the cost shoots up. In some ways, I am happy about this because its forcing me to invest in my footwear and buy better quality shoes. But the money! and the WEIGHT of it is scary. I only bought four pairs of new shoes but as of now I am bringing with me 8 pairs. PLUS, I am still debating on whether or not to bring hiking boots or not. I am trying to gage weather it is safe for me to climb Mount Fuji with my running shoes because hiking boots means another 120$ and that much more weight. Plus PLUS, they are f-ugly; no person wears hiking boots with clothing on and you think to yourself "That is attractive". I am Italian! I want pretty things.

The clothing has been more of a concern on the budget side than the weight side. During Orientation, there were several suggestions as to what to wear/bring to Japan, and most of them concerned women's clothing: has to have a sleeve - thick straps are not allowed, has to be below the knee (who wears skirts below the knee? Honestly, at the knee is easy to find but below the knee I found one and it was too atrocious to even consider purchasing), have to wear nylons (I bought 30 pairs this weekend and need to find 10 more) even if it is deathly humid, must wear shirts that cover your mid-drift and no cleavage. And this was just about the clothing!

Now, each school is different but you don't know until you get there which is too late. So it is best to side on caution especially in my situation where restocking on clothes is not an option. Your predecessor can give you some advice but they all seem to say, "Be hyper conservative at first and then look around you and match the other teacher's style." Another example of modern Japanese homogeneity.

This wardrobe thing has been on my mind for some weeks now and I was finally sick of it. I am sick of getting ready for Japan - I want to enjoy Montreal and my friends. My July schedule is quickly filling up with ice cream dates and dinners with friends so I told the bf that the first weekend of July, I want the major parts of my wardrobe shopping to be done.

Now, I budgeted $1000 for clothes and $700 for shoes (the shoes is because I needed good walking shoes and really good rain boots). I only spent $350 on the shoes which makes me very happy but the clothes - holy moses! It was a lot.

I should say I think what surprised me were the small items that I didn't factor in as a cost. Luggage for example: it didn't hit me that I didn't have a suitcase. And when it came time to thinking about it I was pretty certain I could use my mom's or dad's. But then it hit me! Its not for a month but a year - no way I could take their stuff for that long (or more) given that my dad is a pilot and my mom has to travel with my brother at least once a year for his sports. So I actually had to pay for a suitcase - it was a very adult moment let me tell you. I love her though: she is green and has for wheels and just yells out "Samsonite"! But that was $200 I had not budgeted for.

Another unexpected but necessary purchase: a big purse to carry my laptop in. Since I am writing a thesis there, I will probably lug Jingu around showing off her Macness to the world. In Spain, I would go to bars at night until closing typing and drinking away; it was awesome. But I had a laptop bag and walking home at 2 am... it didn't feel safe. So I ended up splurging at Rudsak $250 and got myself an awesome leather bag that fits all my electronics nicely and a few magazines etc. Perfect for the plane ride as I want my electronics on me and for the late night walks with the laptop. I won't feel like my bag is screaming out "Rob Me!" (Actually, I also bought the matching wallet which WAS a splurge but I LOVE that thing so much and people stop me at the cash saying my wallet is a manifestation of awesomeness. So there!)

That is $450 of un-budgeted cash I had to fork over. Now, I could have bought the $60 suitcase - that is true. But I am the daughter of a pilot and spent many the hour waiting for my dad to land in the "gates" area of then-Mirabel airport. The number of people with cheep suitcases that were DESTROYED beyond repair... not fun. And remember, this BFG can't replenish. I needed to spend the money to be secure that my stuff will arrive there on time. The fact that I get to walk around in my little green four-wheeled Samsonite carry-on in Tokyo is just an added bonus.

MOVING! Again, it cost me just $100 but I thought it would be more on the free side. $40 for gas, $40 for the "Thank-you" meal and little tidbits like rope, etc. all add up.

I think you get my point... I tried/am trying so hard to budget, forecast and play out a strategy but there are things that just bite you in the ass.

Okay so back to clothes... Suits. That was something that kept popping up. You should wear a suit when you meet the mayor, wear a suit at the town festival if you are asked to make a speech, wear a suit on your first day of class when you introduce yourself to the whole school, of course wear a suit for newspaper interviews. Suit, suit, suit. I have one suit which I bought for my JET interview and that alone, on a 70% sale, cost me $140 CDN (Mexx) excluding the nylons (which were $20). I found 2 suits at Tristan which are gorgeous, conservative but fashionable and the two together total $534.33 CDN and this is with a 50% discount! Dudes! I almost fainted when the woman told me the price. I asked her to put it on hold and spent yesterday running around desperately for alternatives. I found blouses (at Jacob Outlet for 15$!) but all the suits either did not fit me, made me look like I bought something at Croteaux or were significantly more expensive. So today I am going to head over to Tristan and buy the two. That is half of my budget on clothes gone mostly because I never had the experience of shopping for a good suit. The good news is I look dam good in them and in the end, especially because I want to be a CEGEP teacher and do not intend to go to school in jogging pants as some profs do, its an investment in my long-term wardrobe. AND my fear of being photographed twice in the same outfit, which is very Italian of me but is an honest, sincere fear can be appeased.

So this weekend I hit the shops. I wish I enjoyed shopping but I hate changing rooms. Another tall moment: taking off a dress and then burning your hand on the hanging spot lights that are NOT helpful to tall people and then slamming your head into the mirror because your head was caught in the dress but the burn shocked you and you jumped away without looking. Yes, I have battle wounds friends.

What did I end up buying? Well! As you can see, I am in love with my new rain jacket. At Orientation it was highly recommended, almost enforced, that you bring rain pants as well but dear Reader, I tried them on but I could no do it. They are so ugly, so FAUX PAS I knew I would never, ever wear them even if it rained. Antonio encouraged me to buy them but it felt from the moment I saw those absolutely ugly things on the rack that I would not wear them. But I did buy a rain coat on recommendation from a classmate Caitlin to check out Mountain Equipment Co-op. Was it worth it! I left with my sexy blue rain coat which I got on Liquidation for $95, black jogging pants which I would wear on a rainy day while biking to school ($57), and the greatest pull-over ever ($35, black). I am now a proud member of this awesome co-op which cost me $5 for lifetime membership.

Jacob Outlet at Marche Centrale was profitable though it took me so long and the changing rooms were so horrible. But I walked out of there with 4 solid coloured blouses after 2 hours of roughing it with the walls there. Still, considering I was able to find them at $15/20 a piece it compares well with the $50ish price tag I have been seeing at MEXX and Tristan (including their discounts). I can't help but feel like they increase the price for the sales so the discount is the original price. It seems absurd that anyone, no matter the quality, would pay a simple, standard blouse more than $40 at regular price. But that is just me.

Bra shopping was... an experience. I had a really helpful girl at the Vie En Rose but the selection wasn't great. I really wanted a skin coloured bra for the blouses and dresses etc. and finally purchased one at full price for $35 CDN. The women taught me loads - did you know that you can see the bra line when you buy the heart shaped cup because of the position of the straps? That is what I was complaining to the girl about who then had me check out the more V shaped bras and it did make a difference. She said that some woman what the line to show but I think that is ridonk! Most annoying was I tried on other bras on sale in black, light blue, polka dots and none fit. They all said 36B on them but holy shit! one was too small, one the cup had a dent, one the magnet snap put me off, and one was so padded I felt like someone had surgically added another ligament to my body. The best part of this was asking the bf how I looked. "Fine", he would answer... to each one. After pestering him, Ant seemed to think there wasn't much of a difference between the bras with clothes on... Sigh. Yes - a challenging weekend you see!

I totally splurged at Tommy Hilfiger on this thin sweater that just cries out GEEK! Its navy blue with white and purple diamonds on the front - total nerdness. I also bought a navy blue Tommy dress on sale for $35. Again, an outlet at Marche Central its worth borrowing a car for a trip there. Right now, 30-40% off the last marked down price.

I didn't do so well on the dress front. Everything was too short or too cleavagy or too expensive (I hate being poor). Anyone have recommendations? Usually, I am able to stock up at the Tristan Entrepot but unfortunatly I looked frumpy in everything.

All to say - the War Chest for Japan is close to being complete. Tomorrow I am planning a sister day with the younger sibling Alisha where she will finally get her life long wish of going to American Apparel while I purchase BOGs and struggle into more bras.

This blog post is but the prelude. Only once I am in Japan can I attest to the fact that in retrospect I really needed 7 suits but not so many shoes, or that hiking Mount Fuji with BOGS is awesome, or that going to school with beige nylons is a big nono but nude colour is fine. All these things I can only know when I get there but I need these posts and this blog to remember these thoughts as they happen and not as I remember so that in the end a more accurate, and hopefully helpful to future JETs, assessment can be made.

On a final note, I think a part of my anxiety is not being a part of the majority any longer, of going to a place where I am truly, really an alien. At a friends house the other night, her boyfriend was speaking on the anxiety Anglophones in Quebec have when it comes to them being a minority linguistically. But not only will I be speaking foreign, I will be eating foreign and shopping foreign and thinking foreign. The anxiety of going to a new place alone is enough stress without having to worry whether or not Japanese tampons do absorb enough. I think its a subconscious realization that sinks in slowly the moment you go start prepping for departure. It sure as hell make me appreciate what I have that much more.

bfg on feeling important

2010-06-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

Rosemary and Caroline, my best friends are twins... the parents always said I was the triplet they never had. Ah! See, we all pretty much share a birthday and were all three in intensive care at the same hospital! They were premature and I was more than 2 weeks late, so fat that the doctors suspected I was diabetic.

Birthdays then have always been a special occasion for us. I will always remember my favourite gift: a shredder. Rosemary never understood but only important people have shredders and I am a very important person.

Well, this weekend I shred away 5 garbage bags worth of paper. Feels good! The place is starting to look spiffy and clean; the bf and I are not stepping on each others toes - or boxes - any longer.

Last week, I received my Welcome Package from Shizuoka School Board! I was so happy - it was hard to believe it had actually, finally arrived. The contract was pretty clear being in both Japanese and English - I was surprised about the section for females... did you know you can call in sick for your menstrual cramps in Japan? GOD! These people are just so advanced it is not funny! Thank you for recognizing...

I got 20 days of vacation and almost 50% of my apartment paid for so that was, again, nice. My predessesor told me that but there is no garantee the organization will carry over the terms and conditions. I was also worried that they would be subtracting key money from my first pay but this is not the case either... All in all status: very happy.

The tour guide and travel map they gave me was another bonus. If anything, I was able to tempt the bf with photos and guided tour plans to come and visit me... maybe even stay a year with me if I stay for longer? Who knows!

My package also included a letter from my Prefectural Advisor (a JET who takes care of JETs in the Shizuoka area, organizes activities and bails you out in times of trouble like when your apartment lights on fire or something), the head of the Shizuoka School Board, and my predecessor. There was also a pamphlet for JETs on specifics on what to bring from home for Shizuoka... nice to know that I can get peanut butter there.

I think here is a good time to mention why I choose Shizuoka-ken as my first choice (fyi: on the JET application there is place to select three). The best thing to do in any situation is ask around; if you are buying a house, choosing a brand of paint or deciding what university to go to the absolute solid way of making the best choice for your self is to ASK AROUND. So I asked several people on JET, my Japanese students and my teachers, the most influentital one being my thesis advisor for obvious reasons.

Of course, I listed the things I could not live without: wanted to be able to travel around Japan facile; wanted to be close to a University and Culture Centre where I can be active and make Japanese friends my age not to mention perhaps use the library facilities for research on my thesis; live in a place where there are few foreigners; mild winter; not far from a major centre where there was more of a chance to find clothes for a female fat giant. And someplace that provided me with a cultural and historical vibe of Japan everyday (so museums were very important to me).

The fact that I actually got my first choice is so rare - I am still in a state of disbelief. But a part of that has to do with me being strategic about everything, and NOT choosing Tokyo or Kyoto as my main choices. The demand for that is so high INTERNATIONALLY that the chances are slim; its best to take a place, with a little research, that is more realistic and, frankly, best suited for your day-to-day needs. I suspect that most people choose Tokyo because it is the one place they actually KNOW of in Japan. A little research and time can really make you realize just how diverse a place the tiny islands of Japan are.

One piece of advice I wish I had was to research Sister Cities. In Montreal, Hiroshima is our sister city and four people were placed in the city and surroundings. In fact, during my interview they asked several questions about the sister city and even said that Hiroshima always has specific requests for JETs from Montreal. Anyways, something to consider especially around interview time.

MP, my advisor, suggested Shizuoka-ken since it was at the very centre of Japan ideal for domestic traveling. A trip to Tokyo is less than 50 mins and to Osaka less than 2 hours - how can I beat that? It is the capital of tea and wasabi and because it is by the Pacific (OMG! I can't believe it! That fact alone fucks with my head :) it is known for its fresh fish and fine cuisine (did someone say, copious amounts of sushi?). Tokugawa Ieyasu retired to Shizuoka so there are several palaces and museums. There are mountain hot springs which the city people go to during New Years - there was an article on it that my student Aki brought to me while I was still in lumbo on my choice. And, best of all, my apartment has an awesome view of Mount Fuji which I should be climbing with other JETs on August 15th.

So... wanna come visit?!

PS: I know I am supposed to post my Orientation notes. I have 1/3 typed up and now am unable to fnd my notebook. Please have sympathy for the clutter. I will find it! And finish.

bfg with more on Orientation

2010-06-22T12:09:00.001-07:00

My humble movie - the first after my iPhoto workshop yesterday. The next post should be on "what to expect" at an Orientation in detail. One thing though - prepare for an exhausting but worthwhile weekend. Enjoy!

bfg on Orientering

2010-06-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

I have said this before, but it always amazes me that people in the past have actually discouraged me from joining the JET Programme. Many of them openly said that they avoided JET when deciding to leave for Japan to teach preferring to go with an agency. I think this weekend proves exactly why I am oh so happy I did not listen to these fools who blow more than farts out of their ass.

This past weekend, the Japanese Consulate here in Japan hosted an Orientation Weekend. All of Saturday and Sunday was spent with JET Alumni who shared their knowledge and experience so that we can prepare for departure.

Don't get me wrong - the idea of getting to McGill's Thomson House at 9am on a Saturday in business attire is not how I would prefer to spend most weekends. Especially when said place is nestled away at the top of what should be an illegal steep hill and it just happens to be 32 degrees Celcius in Montreal. The bf was kind enough to escort me to through Mont-Royal so the walk was beneficial in that I took lots of pictures of the scenery and Sasha the dog. Can't forget about her.

Once inside though it was down to business. Armed with Name tags, I was able to introduce myself to all those I had not met during Japanese language class and chatter away about placement and luggage colours. Quickly we were encouraged to settle in our seats as presentation after presentation given by Alum went on.

And boy did they cover it all: what to pack (or better yet, what NOT to), how to deal with relationships while on JET, Grocery Shopping and Cooking in Japan, what to expect when living in the countryside (inaka), a Reality Check of our expectations and lessons to remember, how to deal with Culture Shock, how to Team Teach (meaning how to work with the Japanese English Teacher), how to lesson plan, advice on money and taxes. By God! They even had a Problem Solving scenario exercise where in small groups we strategized on how to cope with issues that have actually occurred to JETs in the past.

Luckily, I was equipped with a beloved Moleskin and was able to take notes. I honestly highly recommend it even if it means being the only fool scribbling away furiously. Not only can I send out copious notes to dear Ashley in Ontario who doesn't have her Orientation until July but you have to remember that the seminars are speaking in general terms. They present to you several possibilities that you or your peers can be faced with; it really is a case-by-case scenario. So, always ready to colour code, the purple V5 Pilot in hand was devoted to questions I wanted to go over with Melissa my predecessor. Just to give you an idea, on Friday she had responded to all of my 20 questions and I felt ready to conquor! Now I have about 50 new questions and she is nice enough to SKYPE with me though it means a 6am wake-up. The things I do for love.

For any prospective JETs who are considering not going to their Orientation, if you "know" Japan so well you don't think you need to go well then just do it to bond with the gang. Which with the karaoke event on Saturday evening, we did!

You can see by the few pics below that there was lots of song searching, duck lips and eye bulging as we belted out the tunes. But the carefree sing-along (well, it was really yelling but...) to old school tunes while sharing a glass does, for one reason or another, create camaraderie. And these guys will have my back: when your suitcase wheels break off and there isn't a hope in hell, you think the little Japanese man will be helping me? No! Most likely its Guillaume or Andre or whoever else I was lucky enough to belt out Bohemian Rhapsody with.

bfg on hickeys and dis-ease

2010-06-19T00:33:00.000-07:00

It has been some time since I posted but for an entire week I have been the home of some extensive bacterial bodies. Oh yes, I was sick and had the works ladies and gents: sore throat, sinus congestion, headaches, drowsiness and just that all-around miserable "woe-is-me" attitude that begs for attention and apple juice.

So far I have been three weeks off of work and it has been a busy time. Before Sickness knocked on my door I was on top of things: spending time with the nephew, reading for thesis, organizing home. Last week though I had to give up precious Luca time and now I am totally behind on my reading. URG! I hate myself right now.

Concerning Beloved Nephew, next week will probably be my last babysitting session. It makes me sad! but it can not be helped. Being behind on thesis means I need, must, am obliged by blood and law to focus on my goal: complete my Master's by December. Don't get me wrong, I will totally be seeing my family in July but not for 7 hours of playtime. There is one benefit from this... not seeing my grandma who lives downstairs from my sister. Right now, Nonnina is ridiculously mad at me and it looks like she won't get over this before I go. It saddens me especially since even before her passionate tirade against moi, one of my major concerns about leaving was her passing away. Nonnina is eighty-two years old after all so even though a world without her sausages and constant reminders that I have rotten ovaries is unimaginable, it will happen. And if it would happen in Japan well, for lack of a better way to write this, it would suck ass. So leaving on not-so-great terms with her doesn't sit well with me but in certain ways this drama, not just from her but a few others who have unfortunately preferred to wallow in their preconceived conclusions rather than in communicating, is one of the things I am happy to get away from. Lately, I haven't been able to shack off this sense of being under constant attack, not exactly sure why, and Japan where the only people I know are Miyamoto Musashi, my thesis advisor and some old students I tutored will be a definite reprieve from this stress.

I was not completly useless while sick. I finally bought a beautiful MacBook Pro 13" which I am typing away on now. Her name is Jingu, after the Japanese legendary Empress of Korean decent who led Japan into a new cultural wave of art and military success not to mention one of those chicks whose awesomeness was so massive they (ah-huh male historians) had to write about her.

The switch from PC to MAC should not go without mention. It has been difficult! All my short keys need to be relearned, all the names are off and though I love the fact that there is no Temporary Files folder that deletes when I Shut Down it hasn't sunk in yet and I often have a panic attack thinking I lost all the files I downloaded from my email but have not moved. I did something pretty nerdy though and purchased a year's worth of One To One Sessions with Apple. This is a service for $100 where, as often as I like during the year, I can be privatly tutored by an Apple Representative IN PERSON. Do you realize how amazing that is? Already, I have had three hours of tutoring and Monday not only do I get a private lesson on the Safari browser but will also partake in a 90 minute workshop on iPhoto. In this way, I have been hyper productive in getting to know Jingu so that in Japan I won't have problems. Oh! Best of all I still get this service in Japan - so how awesome is that?

I also bought my Camera Mishima (Lumix FH20 if you must know) and have been having fun with the bf's dog, Sasha, using her as my main model. It was the natural choice given that she is always around and I can count on her to listen to my pose commands. I plan on using my shots to practice iPhoto and iMovie on Jingu - not wasteful since I can totally see the bf devote a digital frame to this.

I will be using Mishima all this weekend since I will be spending the all of Saturday and Sunday at JET Orientation! Held at McGill's Thompson House, the Japanese Consulate hosts two days of lectures, workshops and Q&As for us departing JETs to help us prepare for living and working in Japan. Another example of just how impressed I have been with the organization since the beginning of this entire experience.

And with that comes the oh-so-juicy news... I HAVE BEEN EMAILED BY MY PREDECESSOR Melissa M. Predecessor is the current teacher at the school I will be replacing. Can you believe it? Even now I am tearing up because no longer is it "some school somewhere in Shizuoka". Instead, its A school with AN apartment that is a twenty minute bike ride for each other. I am posting a map here that points out my apartment, recommended gym and conbini (convenience store), library and, best of all, Shizuoka University which is moments away from my school and very close to home. This will totally come in handy for my thesis!

View Shizuoka City in a larger map

The big relief is that my apartment is going to be partially subsidized - the school will be paying me a little less than half of my rent. This leave me with about $375 CND per month to pay - nothing unreasonable at all. I am still waiting for photos but it seems to be a cozy 2 1/2 from Melissa's description. This is a major concern for myself and most JETs for though we all have the same salary whether or not our accommodations are paid for in part or full is up to the school we are contracted to. So you can understand the relief. It seems that most people in Shizuoka are actually housed in school/government complexes but since I will be situated to the South of Shizuoka City - which, did I mention, is right by the ocean? - where there are fewer JETs and government workers in general, I will be in a small apartment complex. God, even as I write this I am squealing with excitement.

July is filling up slowly. My SF Gals are making dinner before I go, I will be having coffee with some of my peers in Grad school, am hoping to get a Cousin Gathering at Bofinger, another gathering with my Japanese language class, Tiziana, my beloved roommate from Italy, will be leaving on the 8th, and of course am trying to pack in some dinner dates with the bf. Not to mention he and I are totally loving the hickeys on True Blood - talk about Grade-A TV. I have said two Japan good-byes already - my friend Marisa went off to Middlebury College for the entire summer and I was able to see Robert J. Sawyer while he was in Montreal for a reading at Indigo. So the day is creeping ever closer and as the details come in it is become harder and harder to fathom that I am leaving. Soon the labels for these blogposts will go from "departure" to "Year1" and I am ever so anxious for that moment to arrive.

I promise to blog this weekend with details on Orientation. I have my notebook and Camera Mishima all ready for action. Am pretty certain the info will be very helpful for past and future JETs not to mention a great way for me to revise and process all the information.

bfg needs to go to bed!