bfg on being fugly

Best Part of the Day:

Me walking to Computer room. Group of Girls walks up. 

I make eye contact with girl in Front of Group. 

I say, "Hello!"

She screams at the top of her lungs and runs away. I felt fugly but laughed anyways. Precious moment.

**

Twenty minutes early today. I kick your ass Hill!

Morning meeting, blahblah. I actually had time to down my jelly today in relative piece. I spent my morning prepping for Fridays lesson where I would have a whole class to myself. Today was so hot - at 5pm it is hotter now than at noon today! But yeah it was a good day.

I was cutting away at the vocabulary posters that make up my existance when my favorite teacher whose name I don't know but I describe as the Older-Teacher-that-is-Retired-But-Still-Teaches-Computer-Class tapped my shoulder.

"You busy?"

I was surrounded by about 300 pieces of paper that I was cutting and folding. "No."

"Good. Follow me please."

Out the door we go, and I chatter away about my morning. He listens. I like him.

Then we pass the computer room... and the hall... and the lockers...

"Where are we going?"

"My class."

"Which class?"

"My computer class. I want them to know you."

Okay. Right.

Walk into class. Behind me students snicker, "Nice to meet you." I would quickly turn around and say, "It is nice to meet you too." They would either smile at me and wave or put their head down as if I caught them doing something bad.

Into the class I go with the students ready to take a seat but the teacher gestured me to the front of the class.

And so goes my first class.

In a way, I didn't have time to want to vomit or attempt drastic acts of maddess. I just took the white board marker, wrote my name even though it was running out of ink. And starting talking very slowly.

One of the kids went to sleep. I thought that would bother me but instead I was like, "God, I am with you babe!"

They asked me some really good questions though.

"I heard non-Japanese people don't change their shoes."

I told them the story of how at Uniqlo I was practically chased down by the clerks when I went into the changing room with my shoes.

"What is the school system in Canada?"

Well, someone told you to ask me that. But they were pretty unhappy that they had a whole extra year of school than we do.

"How do you enjoy onsen? Do you only take showers?"

Played it cool on this one and said I am too shy to go to an onsen.

"But you know you must be naked?"

"Yes. That is why I am shy."

"You know no bathing suits."

"I know. This is why I don't go. I am too shy."

They must think I am one dirty fuck since I don't bath but there is some truth to that given the sweat on my face at the time was dripping onto a students desk whereas they were lightly patting their faces.

"No bikini too."

I don't wear bikinis. "I know."

In the end though, it was fun. I spoke with some girls and realized that yeah there are shy students and I don't give a fuck students but we politely put up with each other and do our thing. There are those that want to wave, and chat and joke with me and, most importantly, practice English.

I visited my 3rd year class; very genki and not shy which is nice. But they insist on only speaking in Japanese and the teacher translates everything I say. I try to act it out but ... yeah. I was warned about this and will just do my best in the situation. May be different when its a class on "my" time.

One boy in the class frowned at me the whole time... it was very distracting. I was wondering what he was thinking... like "What will I have for dinner?" or "How can I kill this ALT who is making my life so god dam miserable?" Very distracting...

Tomorrow is my first class where I do my self-intro. I have spent many an hour preparing this and I think the teachers are even starting to feel guilty. "Please don't be disappointed when the students show no reaction." I find the best way to to handle the no-facial-expression Student is to smile and move on. I don't let them get away with doing nothing, I just pretend their sour attitude doesn't exist. Hard to miss a frown though.

I will take pictures and maybe even record myself and post here. That is fine - pics of my school and kids are not.

I worked on the thesis. Have been doing a little every night but to be honest am so discouraged. I feel like I am going no where and am just too stupid for words. I leave it at that.

Also, William Gibson is coming to Montreal. I want to die - I can't believe I am missing the opportunity to meet the man who wrote Neuromancer. Sigh. It takes an author for me to consider flying back home. How very moi.