Sunday, July 25, 2010

bfg on ldr surviving

I am keeping the title so that something from my efforts of writing this past week prove to be of some use.

I rewrote this post a million times. Well, in my head it was a million times but maybe on blogger it was five or six. Still, every time it either sounded kitch or corny or oh-so-savy, which I am not.

How do you survive a long distance relationship? I have no fucking clue and am a little annoyed at the look people get in their eyes when I say "Yes, I am going to Japan. No, my bf is not coming with me."

One can make the argument I am abandoning him - which is nice but I really don't care. Many other JETs have expressed on forums that their partners were whining that song away on their violin and my advice is to dump their asses. Luckily, this is not the case for moi; Ant encouraged me to apply to JET, was and still is super supportive of the whole thing even after I told him I think I want to stay the full time (3 years).

Now, I have told this to people and this is where my annoyance reaches a level where I want to put on a wife-beater and backhand the person when their look morphs from "How could you do that to him?" to "Oh, he is just getting rid of you so he can chase tail while you are gone! Poor you - so blind." and they shake their head to themselves.

I don't see why someone who encourages their partner in fulfilling their dreams even though it puts strain on the relationship is suddenly labeled as a Duke of Sluts but that is fine, no problem. Just fly away, Insect!

We haven't gone ldr yet - 6 days and counting - so I can't give advice. But what is going on in my head? Well, it will suck that is for sure. It is really nice having someone next to you when you are writing a paper, editing and helping you work out your ideas. Nice to have someone do groceries with and blabbing about one's day. And I like sleeping next to someone at night, it feels safe. Oh, well sucks to be me!

But I, and the bf I can safely say, are looking forward to time apart. You have no idea how happy I am at the fact that I am going somewhere CAT FREE (gates of heaven open as the trumpets sound and light fills the room) and I think he needs a reprive from my hyper ventilation every time the cats do something retarded (which is all the time!) . My salary is going to fast track both of us in getting out of debt and saving some. But most importantly, until this is done on my check list of "Life things to do before I Croak" we can't evolve in our relationship.

Leaving For Ottawa with Famous Suitcase
So, ldring will have its really sucky moments but so do loads of things in life. And it will suck in Japan so that in itself rocks. To moi anyways.

We did have a three-day Ottawa getaway of which I put up some pics here. I thought it was necessary because I am going crazy and I don't want the last memories of me being a woman surrounded by three open Samsonite luggages shaking my fist to the skies while wailing. "Why me? Why me?" as I curse my big feet.

Now lets get something straight. Ottawa - four days MAXIMUM. This is not a city, I don't care if Parliament is there or not. Any place where I can't get a cafe latte after 9pm is not a city, capisci?

But the B&B was spectacular. Take a look:

The food situation was... special. It seemed if you spent good money (like $$$) you got great food but anything less and it was downhill baby. Here is a tidbit from our favourite resto The Urban Pear where they serve only local foods. The bill was $100CDN for two people and I had one glass of wine. We did not have appetizers and you really don't need it  - very filling.

We did get our plates eventually...

In conclusion, happy we got away from dishwashing and obligations to pets to spend some time together. And I am elated that I live in a time of Internets and SKYPE and Google and iTouch with microphones. But in the end, it will be hard but I don't think it will be paralyzing. What will happen will happen for better or for worse and the fun is in finding out I would say, no?

"Women are Persons too!" statues at Parliament
Teepe at Carlton University

In other news, International Driver's Licence is complete thank the lord. The RAMQ still won't let me renew my medicare card -

"Please come back July 31st."
"Yes, but I leave July 31st."
"Oh, well I am sorry Madame there is nothing I can do."
"Is there anyone else I can speak to?"
"No point. The computer won't let us do it."

Am I the only person disturbed by that last remark?

The packing is done. I even put in my running shoes (which weighs almost 2 pounds god damit!). I am over by 2 ounces in one of the suitcases but I will take my chances. And I love my suitcases - I know I have written this before but they are so green and beautiful. AND the most exciting thing is I bought a green, leather meishi (business card) holder that matches them AND THEN I designed my business cards with a hint of green on it. Take a look:   

Japanese Card
English on other side

The Divine is in colour coordination I tell you *sigh of pleasure*. I know that no one will see me with all three at the same time, except for maybe at the airport but its like bra and underwear matching - YOU know and it makes all the difference. 

I was actually really intrigued by the entire meishi business and encourage you to read up on it by following the hyperlink. At Orientation, we were advised that it was a complex system of rules but since we are gaijin our only concern was to bow, not write on the business cards at all and to try and put them away once you have parted ways. I read up on it and the proper etiquette is fascinating. I wonder if they have meishi police or something. But more importantly, I wonder how they teach the following generation these rules. Like, is there a parent who actually says "Now Utako, hold the bottom ends of the card. No, no FACING the other person so they can read. Yes, good. A little lower... perfect."? One of the things I am excited about finding out.

At my good-bye dinners several people have wondered aloud whether I will survive in a society so regulated which I find funny because they think there are not the same social rules that set the parameters for our own lives. Perhaps we may not bow to the teacher every morning or hand over business cards the same way but there is so much I know I even take for granted, that I associate as normal and yet haven't pinpointed. It happens to me sometimes here in Canada - when I eat at a friends house who is non-Italian/European... it amazes me. Or the fact that people eat turkey at Christmas - this is something I find so disturbingly foreign to me, and I am not even religious! But it bothers me I can tell you that for free. Not in a way where I am mad but in my head I think, "OMG! I am so happy I will never, ever do that at my table in my life. EVER!" It says something about me to be sure: my intense distaste for bird, the memory of my now-dead Nonnina telling me that we can only eat fish on the Eve because it is a respect to the animals that sacrificed their home for Christ, how I prefer having several choices of meats and veggies versus a more narrow menu (this is something Italians and Asians have in common). But these are ideas I have which I never would have realized had I not been faced with ... "Other than". I like Others - very exciting. And this is exactly why I am going to Japan. Not to find myself since I am me and that phrase is just retarded and overused. Am going to break down the more academic, 2-dimentional idea I have of "Japanese" that I have assumed in my intellect which I think can only be done by facing the beast.

Not to mention to eat copious amounts of sushi, swoon at the Japanese boys because there is no harm in looking, and teach!
God, I am jealous of myself!


  1. Wow, long post but very informative. I have seem LDRs work, it sounds like both of you are going to put in the effort so to hell with people and their pity party. ESID!

    As for the meishi, OMG I totally forgot to get some printed. Yours look very nice and professional. Guess I'll have to do that once I'm settled >_<

  2. I did mine YESTERDAY! I have Pages (Mac) and they have a template. Feel free to copy mine!