Monday, November 22, 2010

bfg on Japan Attack

I have this habit of thinking of the worse. I mean the ultimate worse. Please remember I have a vivid imagination - I can think up anything.

I also have this habit when people approach me that I am under attack 'cause I did something wrong: I broke something; I shoved something; I owe you money; I looked at you strange; I snarled at your cat; something that I did that I am probably totally unconscious of. It is kinda selfish of me to think that way - like the world centres around me - but so it goes.

So last night at 4am when I was doing the finishing touches of the last final exam I had to do for OC I and the Doutor Boy came up to me, I almost shat in my pants. I was listening to music and he caught my attention by leaning forward.

             Holy Moses! How long has he been standing there? Boy, he is standing    
            really straight. Oh crap! What did I do?!

He was standing super straight and he was not smiling. In fact, he was almost frowning but not really. Okay, his face had tension. And his eyes were all small. I was scared. So scared I forgot he was Japanese. Baka-bitch moment #827374

              Boy, this is scary. What did I do now...? Did I crack that cup? I knew I put it  
             down too hard. Shit! No, no. Was it the toilet seat? I really need to stop 
             experimenting with those buttons in the toilet they must thing I do some    
             serious Number Two every time I go....

He finally spoke after not blinking for a like a minute. By then I had removed my ear phones, which were blasting "Love the Way you Lie" on repeat, and gave him my most brilliant smile. Make it hard for him. "I ... am... sorry to interrupt you but I must speak with you."

At this point I was ready to vomit.

              Why me? Why do I get the sickos! I mean, I look like shit. I WEAR A 
             WINTER HAT in here so the smoke doesn't get into my hair and this guy 
            "must speak with me".

".... I am very sorry but...."

              Oh no! It is the toilet. Stupid Vanessa. Stupid stupid. What other 24 hr cafe 
              is there around that actually serves real coffee? Nowhere that's where! 
              Fuck! Maybe it is because I plug in my laptop....

"You bought a toast before...."

             Brain fart. Not where he should be going... Did I like forget to bow or  
             something? I always say thank you!

Smile! "Yes, I did!"

"With strawberry jam."

"Yes. I always take strawberry jam." Strawberry jam is one of those things when you eat it the world is at peace, all is well and you have no problems.

"And there was a grave error."

               The dude used the word "grave" What the fuck did I do? WHAT!?

"The toast is 200 YEN..."

                Idiot Vanessa! Did you give him like a 50 YEN instead of a 100 YEN?

"I am so sorry!" I go for my wallet.

"No!" The most expression he had so far. "You paid 210 YEN. We are so sorry for this error."

               You mean... I didn't do anything?

"I didn't do anything..."

"We are so sorry." He gave me a receipt and the 10 YEN. I start laughing hysterically.

"Your English is so good!"

"Thank you!"

And so we continued our conversation for a minute or so where I learned he was a Shizuoka Uni student and working late nights. Nicest guy, always makes my toast with a nod. That is why I was so surprised when he was ubber-serious, you know?

So now I am friends with Doutor Boy! Which is lovely because I do spend so much time there. His English is amazing though... think about it! He used the word "interrupt" and "grave". AMAZING.

And again, the moment the 10 YEN fiasco cleared up and I asked him a question about himself, he seemed a little surprised but was so open and just happy it seemed that someone noticed. Maybe too that he could use the thing he has been studying. I mean I feel like a BILLION dollars when I tell a taxi driver how to get to my house here. All to say - there is something I can not get my finger on but I love how the process of meeting someone in Japan really is like blossoming. Slow but really opening up.

This does mean of course I won't be playing with the Doutor toilet. For a while anyways. I tell you though, it is a wonder of Japan to behold.

bfg gets ready for furniture shopping with Yuka! Success!! Even though I am poor.


  1. Hi Vanessa! I've been stalking your blog for a while, as I'm hoping to do the JET programme after I graduate! My one question that I haven't been able to find in your blogs, or any others, is where do you do your laundry?! It might seem silly but I'm a laundry freak and do it often haha. Thanks!

  2. Nik! I am so sorry for the late reply. Thesis writing, self-centered moi.

    I do my laundry on the roof. Most apartments here have a washing outlet in the apartment but I am lucky - I have a great roof where I have a washing machine. My pred left heres which is pretty old and blah but I would have to pay money to remove it. I did find a place that will take it away if I buy a new washer from them so I may just do that.

    Most JETs do this but some go to COIN operated places. If you live in a city it is no problem. I have one about 10 min bike ride away and they call you when the laundry is done. Japan - the land of service.

    Does that answer your question? I am a laundry freak too and I will say that there rarly are DRYERS here. I hang everything outside on beautiful days but I am happy with that. It saves money and energy. If you don't like that then maybe you should budget the coin operated machines as I don't think many apartments have room for dryers.