bfg on no being the new yes

The past two days haven't been easy.

Still, I am going to take the advice of L from work and start with the good news.

I did get my leave of absense from work! That means when/if I return from Japan in a year my job will still be waiting for me. Hopefully, I will be able to either get a teaching position at a CEGEP or upgrade to a position that requires more than ten percent of my brain space. Don't get me wrong - my job has been perfect for my needs right now. I required something that left me stress-free at the end of the day to go to school but still paid me decent enough to live. But it is not challenging nor does it use any of my many god-given talents...  I want wake up in the morning and love what I do. Hopefully, Japan will be a time like that.

More good news is that the criminal record papers are in so technically JET Consulate has everything they need from me to send me over to the big J. The coordinator even confirmed on the phone that she was looking at all the docs right then. I do have to send them a copy of my renewed passport (since mine expires in early 2011 before I would get back) but that is not required for now. No - I can now sit back (figurativly) and wait for my Pre-Orientation package and the big Contract.

And just now I finished with the roomie TM and the bf Ant to take pics of all the oh-so-many items I am selling: electronics, furniture, small appliances and knick-nacks. I love selling stuff not just for the extra money but because I physically feel like I am loosing weight. I watch some stranger come in my house and carry out that table or the big desk and it feels so fresh. This is going to feel good.

Whatever I am keeping is partly going to the bfs and in part going to my Nonnina's garage. Last time I stored all my books there, she would call me when she thought I was being "bad" and threaten to burn them. So in order to decrease the threat's sting (she never did it though but still she has the power to), I sent out an email to close, trusting friends offering to lend out books from my library for a year. I hope people take me up on it  since it means my babies will be loved and cared for while I am gone. Everytime I pack a box of books I can't help but feel a little guilty at hiding its awesomeness from the world for my convenience.

Alas, the past 48 hrs haven't been so upbeat.

I don't want to go into the details mostly because it is so confusing. The big stick-in-the-ass was when I discovered that the Government Student Loan doesn't GIVE me a bursary, they pay that amount to themselves. In the end, it is still good - there is less money for me to pay back to them but I was counting on that for my Japan fund.

I have a perhaps unfounded fear of being stuck in Japan with no money. It scares the begezzes out of me. So I am trying super hard to surpass the JET recommendation of $2,700 and hit at least 3K.

So this news set me on the panicking mode which makes me far from the best of company.

Basically, I just spent hours on the phone calling banks and government offices and other big authoritative institutions that had me on hold for way too long and refused to take responsibility for their inaction or actions. It was frustrating but with these things you just have to grind your teeth and smile. They may not see your smile but let me tell you something for free - they hear it.

Its getting late and I still have lots of things on my list I need to check off. It's been a long day so I think will just leave it at that...

bfg stays awake by the shear anticipation of completing another check-list item.